BUT WE STILL AREN'TGETTING IT.
YOU'RE HALF-MANAND HALF-BERRY?
- BUT THEN WHAT EXACTLY ISYOUR SUPER POWER?
- THE POWER OF MINTAND BERRIES
YET WITH A SATISFYINGTASTY CRUNCH!
- NO, SEE,THAT'S THE PROBLEM, DUDE.
THAT'S NOT REALLYA SUPER POWER.
LIKE I HAVE MENTAL COMMANDOVER ALL POWER TOOLS,
HUMAN KITE CAN FLY--
- AND SHOOT LASERSOUT OF MY EYES.
- AND SHOOT LASERS OUT OFHIS EYES, AND MYSTERION CAN--
WAIT. WHAT'S YOUR SUPER POWER,MYSTERION?
- I CAN'T DIE!
- OH, YEAH, GOOD ONE.MYSTERION CAN'T DIE.
AND IRON MAIDEN ISINDESTRUCTIBLE--
- NO, STAN, I'M BEING SERIOUS.
I REALLY, REALLY CAN'T DIE!
- [chuckling] WHAT?
- LIKE LAST NIGHTIN THE ALLEY!
THE CULT LEADER STABBED ME
AND I BLEDALL OVER THE PLACE.
AND YOU SCREAMED,"OH, MY GOD!"
AND YOU CALLED HIM A BASTARD!
- WHEN WAS THAT?
- ALL THE TIME!
I DIE ALL THE TIME!
AND YOU ASSHOLESNEVER REMEMBER!
- I THINK WE WOULDREMEMBER YOU DYING, DUDE.
- WELL, YOU DON'T!
I DIE OVER AND OVER.
ONLY TO WAKE UP IN MY BEDLIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.
- DUDE, YOU'RE FREAKIN' OUTMINTBERRY CRUNCH.
HE'S PEED HIS PANTS.- NO, NO!
MINTBERRY CRUNCH DOESN'TEVER PEE HIS PANTS!
- I KNEW THERE'D BE NO POINTIN TELLING YOU GUYS.
- ALL RIGHT, DUDE.
LET'S JUST SAY YOU'RENOT CRAZY AND IT'S TRUE.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
I MEAN, I THINK IT'D BE PRETTYCOOL NOT TO BE ABLE TO DIE.
- PRETTY COOL?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELSLIKE TO BE STABBED?
TO BE SHOT, DECAPITATED,TORN APART, BURNED, RUN OVER--
- KENNY, KENNY CALM DOWN.
- IT'S NOT PRETTY COOL, KYLE!
IT FUCKING HURTS!
AND IT WON'T GO AWAYAND NOBODY WILL BELIEVE ME!
REMEMBER THIS TIME!
TRY AND FUCKING REMEMBER!
- OH, MY GOD!HOLY SHIT, DUDE!
- DUDE!- IS HE--OH, JESUS!
- KENNY.NO, NO!
I Can't Die
Mysterion tries to explain how much his super power sucks.
The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.x CLOSE
The boys are given a controversial book to read in school and it inspires them to write one of their own.x CLOSE
Cartman's favorite restaurant has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana. Meanwhile, Randy is desperate to get a prescription card to treat his testicular cancer.x CLOSE
When Kyle begs Stan to "friend" him, Stan gets sucked into Facebook.x CLOSE
The town of South Park faces a class action lawsuit as every celebrity they've ever ridiculed is out for revenge.x CLOSE
Angry celebrities, violent ginger kids and Mecha Streisand are about to destroy South Park and all anyone wants to know is, "Who is Eric Cartman's father?"x CLOSE
Jimmy and Timmy are off to summer camp with all their handicapable friends.x CLOSE
Cartman dreams of being a NASCAR driver and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.x CLOSE
New Jersey is taking over the nation one state at a time. Randy and the boys take a stand as the Jerseyites approach South Park.x CLOSE
When Stan is sent to the school counselor because he's holding on to an obscene number of useless possessions, he realizes that Mr. Mackey has a hoarding disorder too.x CLOSE
Mintberry Crunch catches us up with the ongoing disaster.x CLOSE
Mysterion tries to explain how much his super power sucks.x CLOSE
Cartman gives us the latest installment of "The Coon."x CLOSE
Cartman returns to Coon and Friends to ask what he should do.x CLOSE
Cartman and Cthulhu banish the Coon Friends to a dark oblivion.x CLOSE
The Dark Lord is agitated and the Coon calms him down.x CLOSE
The Coon Friends are trapped in another dimension and Mysterion tries to find a way out.x CLOSE
The Coon and Friends unleash their fury at Burning Man.x CLOSE
Mysterion pays a visit to the Goth Kids.x CLOSE
Mysterion learns how to stop the Dark Lord.x CLOSE