ALL THE EFFORT I PUT IN,
I STILL WASN'T POORAND STUPID ENOUGH TO WIN.
- ERIC, YOU WERE AS POORAND STUPID AS YOU COULD BE.
- DON'T YOU GET IT, BUTTERS?
IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPENFOR ME!
THOSE PEOPLE ARE WAY MORE POORAND STUPID THAN I'LL EVER BE!
I MIGHT AS WELL KILL MYSELF.
- ERIC! DON'T EVERTALK LIKE THAT!
- I'VE GIVEN AWAYALL MY MONEY,
DRANK ENOUGH VAGISIL TO KILLEVERY BRAIN CELL I HAVE,
BUT IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH!
- ALL RIGHT, ERIC,WE GOT THE X-RAYS BACK.
- HOW BAD IS IT, DOCTOR?
- HE HAS TWO FRACTURED RIBS,A BROKEN FEMUR,
TORN LIGAMENTSIN BOTH KNEES,
AND A LEVEL TWO CONCUSSION.
HE ALSO APPEARSTO BE DEVELOPING
THREE SMALL VAGINASIN HIS STOMACH,
BUT THEY AREALL SPARKLING CLEAN.
- WELL, AT LEASTTHERE'S THAT.
- JUST PULL THE PLUG ON ME,DOCTOR.
I DON'T WANT TO LIVELIKE THIS.
- YOU AREN'T ON LIFE SUPPORT.
PULLING A PLUGWOULDN'T DO ANYTHING.
- OH, DONKEY BALLS.
- YOU ARE LUCKYTO BE ALIVE, YOUNG MAN.
SNEAKING ONTOA NASCAR RACETRACK
AND HIJACKING A CARFOR A JOYRIDE.
THAT HAS GOT TO BETHE STUPIDEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARDOF A KID DOING.
- THANKS, DOC,BUT YOU AREN'T GOING TO
MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER.
- NO, REALLY.
OF ALL THE IDIOTIC, DUMB WAYS
I'VE SEEN KIDSINJURE THEMSELVES,
YOURS TAKES THE RETARD CAKE!
- DID YOU HEAR THAT, ERIC?
SEE? YOU ARE REALLY STUPID.
- COULD IT BEI ONLY LOST THE RACE
BECAUSE I SOMEHOW WASN'TPOOR ENOUGH?
- IT HAS TO BE, ERIC.
- ERIC, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- GET ME MY COAT, BUTTERS.
WE'RE GONNA TRYTHIS THING AGAIN.
Oh Donkey Balls
While in the hospital, Cartman gets some uplifting news from his doctor.
The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.x CLOSE
The boys are given a controversial book to read in school and it inspires them to write one of their own.x CLOSE
Cartman's favorite restaurant has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana. Meanwhile, Randy is desperate to get a prescription card to treat his testicular cancer.x CLOSE
When Kyle begs Stan to "friend" him, Stan gets sucked into Facebook.x CLOSE
The town of South Park faces a class action lawsuit as every celebrity they've ever ridiculed is out for revenge.x CLOSE
Angry celebrities, violent ginger kids and Mecha Streisand are about to destroy South Park and all anyone wants to know is, "Who is Eric Cartman's father?"x CLOSE
Jimmy and Timmy are off to summer camp with all their handicapable friends.x CLOSE
Cartman dreams of being a NASCAR driver and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.x CLOSE
New Jersey is taking over the nation one state at a time. Randy and the boys take a stand as the Jerseyites approach South Park.x CLOSE
When Stan is sent to the school counselor because he's holding on to an obscene number of useless possessions, he realizes that Mr. Mackey has a hoarding disorder too.x CLOSE
Cartman gets all teary over what he wants to be when he grows up.x CLOSE
Cartman recruits Butters to help him chase his NASCAR dream.x CLOSE
After getting poor, Cartman devises a plan to get stupid.x CLOSE
Butters and Cartman sneak themselves into a NASCAR race.x CLOSE
While in the hospital, Cartman gets some uplifting news from his doctor.x CLOSE
Kenny gets pissed after seeing a NASCAR news report.x CLOSE
Cartman takes his poverty to the next level...and is handsomely rewarded.x CLOSE
Cartman joins other NASCAR drivers for a press conference.x CLOSE
PTI picks up Cartman's video podcast about dip and Obama.x CLOSE
Cartman finally gets behind the wheel of his very own race car.x CLOSE