You're my advisers,for Christ's sake!
How do we do this?!
Maybe if you swamin a pool in Florida,
you could contractthe Zika virus.
Then, you [bleep]all the people you can
and hopethey eventually die.
That would takeway too long!
And there's no guaranteeevery pool in Florida has Zika!
Could you use nuclear weapons,
then [bleep] all the bodiesafter the fact?
[ Groans ] Whatthe hell do I do?
If I win, I won't be ableto do what I promised.
But every day,I keep going up in the polls.
Why did the Democrats haveto elect such a Turd Sandwich?
Maybe you should just quit.
If I quit, I looklike a total jackass.
If I win the election...
I look like a total jackass.
I have to keep running,
but I have to make sureshe wins.
[ Dramatic notes play ]
I Have to Make Sure She Wins
Mr. Garrison asks for help for his campaign advisors on how to keep his campaign promises.