- LOOK, I AM TELLING YOU THATYOU ARE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE.
ERIC CARTMANIS THE NSA'S WORST NIGHTMARE.
- NOT ACCORDINGTO THE CENTRAL COMPUTER.
- THE CENTRAL COMPUTERIS WRONG.
YOU NEED TO CHANGE HIS STATUS.
- SORRY, BUT IF CENTRAL COMPUTERSAYS HE'S NOT A THREAT,
THEN WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
- CAN'T DO ANYTHING?YOU'RE THE NSA.
- THERE'S 300 MILLION PEOPLEOUT THERE.
HOW DO YOU THINKWE'RE ABLE TO KEEP TRACK
OF EVERY SINGLE PERSONIN THIS COUNTRY?
HOW DO YOU THINK WE'RE ABLETO REALLY KNOW WHO'S DOING WHAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL SHOW YOU,
BUT THISIS VERY TOP SECURITY STUFF,
BECAUSE IF PEOPLE KNEWHOW WE DID IT,
THEN EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.
THEN OUR ENEMIES WOULD DO IT.
WE CAN'T LET OUR ENEMIESGET THEIR HANDS ON THIS.
- GET THEIR HANDS ON WHAT?
[electronic beepingand buzzing]
[ominous musical flourish]
- THIS IS HOW WE KNOWWHO'S A THREAT AND WHO'S NOT,
HOW WE KNOW WHO'S SLEEPINGAND WHO'S AWAKE.
HOW WE KNOW THAT--[whistle blowing]
- YOU THINKI'M FAT AND UNIMPORTANT NOW?
I AM ERIC CARTMAN!
AND I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
THIS IS ALL BEING BROADCAST LIVEON MY TWITTER ZEPPELIN
AND ON ALEC BALDWIN'SNEW TELEVISION SHOW VIA SHITTER.
- HI, EVERYBODY AND WELCOMETO MY NEW SHOW ON MSNBC,
FREE PASS WITH ALEC BALDWIN.
- [thinking]YOUR SECRET IS OUT, NSA.
AND NOW THAT EVERYONE KNOWSWHAT YOU'RE DOING TO SANTA,
YOU CAN KISSYOUR PROGRAM GOOD-BYE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME DOWNWHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE.
NOW EVERYONE KNOWS THE TRUTH,
AND EVERYONE'S GONNA THINKI'M SUPERCOOL.
Cartman is a Whistleblower
Cartman's "private conversation" pisses Kyle off.x CLOSE
Cartman complains about the NSA invading his privacy and sends a message out to his followers.x CLOSE
Butters thanks the government and President Obama for watching over him, while Cartman comes up with a plan to infiltrate the NSA.x CLOSE
The newest form of social media takes your thoughts and puts them directly on the internet.x CLOSE
Cartman uses “Shitter” to talk about his plans for the NSA.x CLOSE
Butters confesses all his sins at the DMV.x CLOSE
Cartman puts on his best disguise to infiltrate the NSA.x CLOSE
Butters uses a visit from Jehovah's Witnesses to spread the good word about the Government.x CLOSE
Cartman has his first day working as an NSA agent.x CLOSE
Butters visits Craig and preaches about letting the government into your heart.x CLOSE