BEING SAIDAROUND THIS SCHOOL,
AND SO WE ARE GONNA HEARFROM A GUEST SPEAKER.
HERE TO EXPLAIN WHYKIM KARDASHIAN IS NOT A HOBBIT,
PLEASE WELCOME AQUAMAN.
- UH-HUH.UH-HUH, THAT'S RIGHT.
- OKAY,FIRST OF ALL,
I AM NOT AQUAMAN.
I AM A RECOVERINGGAY FISH.
YES, I HAVE MET AQUAMAN.I HAVE HUNG OUT WITH AQUAMAN.
BUT THE ONLY THING I HAVEIN COMMON WITH AQUAMAN ANYMORE
IS MY LOVE FOR THE SEA.
THERE HAVE BEENMALICIOUS RUMORS
STARTED AT THISELEMENTARY SCHOOL
THAT MY BEAUTIFUL FIANCEEIS A HOBBIT.
THAT IS NOT FUNNY,AND IT IS NOT TRUE.
YES, KIM IS HEAVIER THAN MOVEOF HER PICTURES SHOW HER TO BE.
YES, SHE GETS HER HAIRLASERED OFF HER BODY.
YES, SHE HAS A FRIENDNAMED GANDALF
WHO HAPPENSTO BE A WIZARD.
- I'M SORRY.EXCUSE ME A MINUTE.
BITCH, HOW YOU NOTTHE HOBBIT AGAIN?
YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.RIGHT.
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT,RIGHT, RIGHT, YEAH.
OKAY, YEP.YEP, LET ME--OKAY.
YEP, I GOT IT.OKAY, LOVE YOU TOO.
OKAY, IF MY FIANCEE KIMIS A HOBBIT,
THEN HOW COME IT--UH, HOW--THEN--
OKAY, IF SHE IS A HOBBIT,THEN HOW COME
SHE DON'T LIVEIN A HOLE IN THE GROUND?
BOOM!AW, Y'ALL JUST GOT LIT UP, CUP!
SHE DON'T LIVEIN NO HOLE IN THE GROUND.
SHE LIVESIN A BIG-ASS MANSION WITH ME,
IN HER ROOMTHAT IS SLIGHTLY BELOW GROUND.
SO YOU CAN--
SHE--SHE IS SEXYAND WOMANLY.
AND SHE SMOKES A PIPE.SHE CAN BLOW THEM RINGS
THAT GO UPOVER HER HEAD, AND--
HOLD UP.[phone dialing]
BITCH, YOU NOTA HOBBIT, RIGHT?
NO, I KNOW, YOU JUST--
YOU SMOKETHAT LONG PIPE SOMETIMES
WHEN YOU SITBY THE FIRE.
OH, IT'S A--OH, OKAY, GOT IT.
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?YEP, YEP, GOT IT.
OKAY, YEP,LOVE YOU TOO.
THAT IS NOT A HOBBIT PIPE,FOR YOUR INFORMATION.
IT IS A PERSONALORAL HUMIDIFIER
TO KEEP ALL THE WRINKLESAROUND HER MOUTH FROM SHOWING.
SO HA, HA,ALL YOU HATERS, HA!
You're Not A Hobbit, Right?
Kanye tries to convince the class that his fiance is not a hobbit.
Cartman infiltrates the NSA and doesn't like what he finds in his personal file.x CLOSE
The boys use the game of "Minecraft" as a distraction to keep their parents from hurting each other.x CLOSE
Cartman sees Token as a threat to all humanity.x CLOSE
The Goth kids are being sent away to a camp for troubled children.x CLOSE
When Ike hits puberty, he and Kyle start to grow apart. To save their relationship, Kyle takes Ike to see a live performance of Yo Gabba Gabba.x CLOSE
Cartman's latest prank brings peace to the world.x CLOSE
The boys prepare to battle the crowds already lining up for the first official day of holiday shopping.x CLOSE
Black Friday is almost here and the battle for the new gaming devices is heating up. Princess Kenny's betrayal has left Cartman out for revenge.x CLOSE
The doors to the mall will finally open for the biggest Black Friday sale in history. The boys are divided, but a bloody battle will determine which gaming device is victorious.x CLOSE
When Wendy tries to fix one of her girl friends up with Butters, she ends up in the counselor's office.x CLOSE
To boost her confidence, the cheerleaders encourage Lisa Berger to ask Butters on a date.x CLOSE
Wendy confronts Butters about calling a girl fat, but he defends his high standards.x CLOSE
Mr. Mackey has a sit down with Butters and Wendy to discuss the mean things said about Kim Kardashian.x CLOSE
Kanye tries to convince the class that his fiance is not a hobbit.x CLOSE
Wendy shows Butters the power of photoshop.x CLOSE
Clyde shows off his new and improved girlfriend to the boys.x CLOSE
Mr. Mackey confronts Wendy about her jealous behavior.x CLOSE
Kanye interrupts the Person Of The Year Awards to once again defend his fiance.x CLOSE
Lisa Berger shares her secret to getting all the boys' attention.x CLOSE
They boys check out the girls' new pictures, while Stan asks Wendy for an "updated" one.x CLOSE