I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GETMY FRIEND NUMBERS TO GO UP.
THAT'S WHY I CAME TO YOU.
- YOU'RE VERY SMART, KYLE.
BUT THE TRUTH IS,
AS LONG AS YOU HAVETHAT KIP DRORDY LOSER
AS A FACEBOOK FRIEND,
PEOPLE VIEW YOUR FRIENDSHIPAS A LIABILITY.
YOU GOTTA DUMP HIM.
- I CAN'T DO THAT.I'D JUST FEEL TOO BAD.
- WELL, KYLE,THEN WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO
IS GO OUTSIDETHE NORMAL CIRCLES
AND TRY TO MAKE FRIENDSWITH PEOPLE
WHO'VE NEVER HEARD OF KIP.
- I'VE BEEN TRYING!
BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO MAKE TOTALLY NEW FRIENDSON THE INTERNET.
- IT'S NOT AS HARDAS IT SOUNDS, KYLE.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARDOF CHAT ROULETTE?
- NO. WHAT'S CHAT ROULETTE?
- YUP. FINDING NEW FRIENDS ISEASIER TODAY THAN EVER BEFORE.
WE JUST SET OURSELVES UPON WEBCAM,
AND THEN THE COMPUTERWILL RANDOMLY PUT US
WITH ONEOF THE 50,000 PEOPLE ONLINE
ALSO DOING CHAT ROULETTE.
- HEY, THAT'S KIND OF COOL.
- UH-HUH. ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE WHO OUR FIRSTCHAT PARTNER IS.
- AW, THAT'S SOME DUDEJACKING OFF!
- OH, YEAH,YOU GET THOSE SOMETIMES.
WE'LL JUST CLICK TOTHE NEXT PERSON.
THERE WE GO.HELLO?
- THAT'S JUSTA GUY'S PENIS, TOO!
- OKAY.LET'S TRY THIS ONE.
- DUDE, I DON'T WANT TO SEEA BUNCH OF GUYS' PENISES!
- HOLD ON, KYLE!
THIS IS SERIOUSLYAN AMAZING GATHERING PLACE
WHERE PEOPLEFROM ALL OVER THE WORLD
CAN SHARE THEIR THOUGHTSAND IDEAS!
OKAY. THAT'S A DUDEJACKING OFF, BUT...
OKAY, DUDE JACKING OFF.
PENIS, PENIS, PENIS.
AH, HERE'S A GUY.
HEY, DUDE, HOW'S IT GOIN?
- HEY.- THIS IS MY FRIEND KYLE.
HE'S LOOKINGFOR SOME NEW FRIENDS.
- OH, YEAH?
- OH, HE'S TAKING OUTHIS PENIS.
OKAY. NEXT GUY.- DUDE, SCREW THIS.
I DON'T WANT TO SEEANYMORE!
- KYLE, THIS IS THE WAYTHE WORLD WORKS!
IF YOU WANNA FINDSOME QUALITY FRIENDS,
YOU CAN WADE THROUGHALL THE DICKS FIRST!
Looking For Quality Friends
Kyle and Cartman go on Chat Roulette to look for some quality internet friends.
The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.x CLOSE
The boys are given a controversial book to read in school and it inspires them to write one of their own.x CLOSE
Cartman's favorite restaurant has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana. Meanwhile, Randy is desperate to get a prescription card to treat his testicular cancer.x CLOSE
When Kyle begs Stan to "friend" him, Stan gets sucked into Facebook.x CLOSE
The town of South Park faces a class action lawsuit as every celebrity they've ever ridiculed is out for revenge.x CLOSE
Angry celebrities, violent ginger kids and Mecha Streisand are about to destroy South Park and all anyone wants to know is, "Who is Eric Cartman's father?"x CLOSE
Jimmy and Timmy are off to summer camp with all their handicapable friends.x CLOSE
Cartman dreams of being a NASCAR driver and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.x CLOSE
New Jersey is taking over the nation one state at a time. Randy and the boys take a stand as the Jerseyites approach South Park.x CLOSE
When Stan is sent to the school counselor because he's holding on to an obscene number of useless possessions, he realizes that Mr. Mackey has a hoarding disorder too.x CLOSE
Cartman, Kenny and Kyle discuss their online friend situation, but Stan wants no part of it.x CLOSE
Kip Drordy makes a new friend.x CLOSE
Everyone gets involved in social networking.x CLOSE
Stan has trouble adjusting to the world of social networking.x CLOSE
Cartman gets into the economics of social networking with his kick-ass podcast.x CLOSE
When things start to go sour, Kyle turns to his REALLY good friend.x CLOSE
Everyone's taking status updates way too seriously.x CLOSE
Stan literally gets sucked into social networking.x CLOSE
Kyle and Cartman go on Chat Roulette to look for some quality internet friends.x CLOSE
Stan's profile is forced to compete in the gaming arena.x CLOSE