- DAD, MOM SAYS TO STOP TRYINGTO GIVE YOURSELF CANCER.

- JUST GONNA GETA LITTLE BIT OF CANCER, STAN.

TELL MOM IT'S OKAY.

- CAN I HELP YOU?

- I NEED--SOMEBODY SAIDYOU COULD HELP ME.

I HAVE TO--I HAVEN'T HAD KFCIN ALMOST A WEEK.

[hyperventilating]

- ALL RIGHT, SIGN YOUR NAMEON THE RELEASE FORM.

PUT DOWN THE TIME...- REALLY?

- YOUR BIRTH YEAR, AND WE'LL GETYOU THROUGH THE NEXT 24 HOURS.

- WHAT, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

OH, MY GOD!THAT'S KFC GRAVY!

YOU HAVE KFC!YES!

THIS IS IT?

ONE LOUSYLITTLE CUP OF GRAVY?

- THIS IS A CLINIC TO HELP YOUGET OVER YOUR ADDICTION.

- WHO WANTS JUST GRAVY?

IT GOES ON MASHED POTATOES,

ON EXTRA-CRISPY CHICKEN SKIN!

- IF YOU DON'T WANT IT,THAT'S FINE.

- NO!

[sucking, slurping]

OH, GOD.OH, GOD, IT'S SO GOOD.

- "FROZENAND PROCESSED FOODS

"APPEAR TO HAVE A DIRECT LINK

TO MANY FORMSOF STOMACH AND COLON CANCERS."

ALL RIGHT.

[buttons beeping]

"TESTS SHOW THAT PRESERVATIVESFOUND IN THESE FOODS

"ARE THE LEADING CAUSE.

"HOWEVER, LUCKILY, MOSTOF THESE CANCERS ARE...

SLOW-GROWINGAND CAN TAKE YEARS TO DEVELOP."

DAMN IT.

"TESTICULAR CANCER.

"MOST COMMON IN OLDER MEN

AND CAN BEEXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE."

OH, THIS IS GOOD.

"THERE'S NO DATA ON WHAT CAUSESTESTICULAR CANCER

"TO GROW SO RAPIDLY.

"HOWEVER, THE PRIMARY CAUSESOF TESTICULAR CANCER

ARE LINKED TO EXPOSURETO HIGH DOSES OF RADIATION."

HMM.

OH, HEY, STAN.COULD YOU GRAB ME A BEER?

STAN?