FROM THE TRAGIC DEATHSOF THE KARDASHIANS.
THE SHOOTER CLAIMS HE WAS DRIVENTO COMMIT THE SLAUGHTER
IMMEDIATELY AFTER READING THE POOP THAT TOOK A PEE
BY LEOPOLD "BUTTERS" STOTCH.
IT'S ALL OVER...
THE KARDASHIANS--WIPED OUT...
IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE...
ALL BECAUSE ONE LITTLE PRICK...
HAD TO GO AND WRITE A BOOK.
I HOPE THEY BURY YOU...
YOU EVIL FUCK!
- DUDE, PEOPLE ARE PISSED OFFAT YOU, BUTTERS.
- [muffled]I KNOW.
- THEY'RE SAYING THEY'RE GONNABAN BOTH YOUR BOOKS NOW,
YOU'RE NOT MAKINGANY MORE MONEY.
- [crying]YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THAT?
GOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMANIN THE WORLD KILLED!
I LOVED HER!
AND NOW SHE'S GONE,AND IT'S BECAUSE OF ME!
- UH, OH, BUTTERS,IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN, WE'VE ALL LEARNED
THAT PEOPLE LOOKFOR MEANING IN BOOKS.
AND SOMETIMES,EVEN IF IT ISN'T THERE,
THEY'LL TRY AND INVENTTHEIR OWN MEANING.
- YEAH, DUDE.
THAT'S WHY WE ALL NEEDTO AVOID BOOKS
AND STICK TO TELEVISION.
- THA--THANKS, FELLAS.
I'LL DEFINITELYNEVER WRITE AGAIN.
I THINK I CAN GET OVER THIS.
- THAT'S GOOD, BUTTERS, BECAUSEWE NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
- [sighs]YOU WERE SLEEPWALKING AGAIN
AND DRESSED SARAH JESSICA PARKERUP IN A MOOSE SUIT.
YOU LEFT HER IN THE FOREST,AND SHE GOT SHOT BY A HUNTER.
- WHAT? OH, NO!- YEP, SORRY.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME DOWNAND ADMIT IT WAS YOU.
- AW, I GOT HER KILLED TOO?
OH, WELL,AT LEAST SHE WAS UGLY.
I'll Never Write Again
Butters is forced to deal with the tragic repercussions of his books.
The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.x CLOSE
The boys are given a controversial book to read in school and it inspires them to write one of their own.x CLOSE
Cartman's favorite restaurant has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana. Meanwhile, Randy is desperate to get a prescription card to treat his testicular cancer.x CLOSE
When Kyle begs Stan to "friend" him, Stan gets sucked into Facebook.x CLOSE
The town of South Park faces a class action lawsuit as every celebrity they've ever ridiculed is out for revenge.x CLOSE
Angry celebrities, violent ginger kids and Mecha Streisand are about to destroy South Park and all anyone wants to know is, "Who is Eric Cartman's father?"x CLOSE
Jimmy and Timmy are off to summer camp with all their handicapable friends.x CLOSE
Cartman dreams of being a NASCAR driver and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.x CLOSE
New Jersey is taking over the nation one state at a time. Randy and the boys take a stand as the Jerseyites approach South Park.x CLOSE
When Stan is sent to the school counselor because he's holding on to an obscene number of useless possessions, he realizes that Mr. Mackey has a hoarding disorder too.x CLOSE
Garrison hands out copies of the book "Catcher in the Rye" to the class.x CLOSE
The boys discover their controversial book assignment isn't really that controversial.x CLOSE
Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and Kyle decide to write their own novel.x CLOSE
Stan's parents fight their way through the boys' book...and absolutely love it.x CLOSE
The boys find someone to blame for their foul-mouthed book.x CLOSE
The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs becomes a bestselling phenomenon, making people around the world vomit.x CLOSE
The boys confront Butters about stealing their book.x CLOSE
Butters goes on the Today show to promote his amazingly successful book.x CLOSE
The boys fight to get Scrotie's tale banned.x CLOSE
Acclaimed author Leopold Stotch reveals his plan for a Scrotie sequel. Meanwhile, the boys plot their revenge.x CLOSE