THE MONKEYS WHO WERE GIVEN CASHALWAYS ACTED OUT
THEIR SEXUAL ADDICTIONTO DANGEROUS LEVELS.
IT APPEARS THAT MONEYHAS A DIRECT EFFECT
ON THE VIRUS' ABILITYTO DEVELOP.
- SO WE MUST KEEPOUR NATION'S YOUTH
AWAY FROM MONEY AND SUCCESS.
- NO GOOD,MR. PRESIDENT,
BECAUSE WE'VE LEARNEDTHAT SEX ADDICTS WILL FIND WAYS
TO MAKE MONEYAND BECOME SUCCESSFUL
IN ORDER TO FEEDTHEIR ADDICTION.
- YOU MEAN BOYSWILL START WORKING
TOWARDS BEING RICHAND SUCCESSFUL
JUST SO THEY CAN ONE DAYHAVE SEX WITH LOTS OF WOMEN?
THAT'S WHY WE DECIDED TO LOOKAT THE CASH ITSELF FOR CLUES.
WE TRIED TO FIND SOMETHINGIN THE $100 BILLS
THAT COULD EXPLAINWHY THIS IS HAPPENING NOW.
THEN WE LOOKED AT THE BACK SIDEAND FOUND THIS.
- INDEPENDENCE HALL--
THE BIRTHPLACEOF OUR COUNTRY.
- WE BELIEVE SOMETHING ISHAPPENING AT INDEPENDENCE HALL
THAT GIVES MONEYITS POWER OVER MEN.
- INDEPENDENCE HALL...
GENTLEMEN,I MIGHT KNOW WHAT'S CAUSING
THE SEX-ADDICTION OUTBREAK.
THIS IS HIGHLY CLASSIFIED,BUT IN 1947,
A FLYING SAUCER WAS DISCOVEREDIN ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO.
TWO DECEASED ALIEN BODIESWERE RECOVERED
AND HIDDENFROM PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE.
THEY CARRIED A VIRUS WITH THEM,
A VIRUS THAT APPARENTLYWAS ONLY BARELY STOPPED
FROM SPREADINGALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
- AND YOU THINK THESE ALIENSCOULD BE BACK WITH A NEW VIRUS,
ONE ORIGINATINGFROM INDEPENDENCE HALL,
CAUSING RICH, SUCCESSFUL MENTO HAVE SEX WITH LOTS OF WOMEN?
- IT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATIONTHAT MAKES ANY SENSE.
The Only Explanation
The scientists voice their concerns about an epidemic to President Obama.
The latest in scientific testing reveals that some of the boys at South Park Elementary have a sex addiction problem.x CLOSE
The boys are given a controversial book to read in school and it inspires them to write one of their own.x CLOSE
Cartman's favorite restaurant has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana. Meanwhile, Randy is desperate to get a prescription card to treat his testicular cancer.x CLOSE
When Kyle begs Stan to "friend" him, Stan gets sucked into Facebook.x CLOSE
The town of South Park faces a class action lawsuit as every celebrity they've ever ridiculed is out for revenge.x CLOSE
Angry celebrities, violent ginger kids and Mecha Streisand are about to destroy South Park and all anyone wants to know is, "Who is Eric Cartman's father?"x CLOSE
Jimmy and Timmy are off to summer camp with all their handicapable friends.x CLOSE
Cartman dreams of being a NASCAR driver and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.x CLOSE
New Jersey is taking over the nation one state at a time. Randy and the boys take a stand as the Jerseyites approach South Park.x CLOSE
When Stan is sent to the school counselor because he's holding on to an obscene number of useless possessions, he realizes that Mr. Mackey has a hoarding disorder too.x CLOSE
The boys play the new Tiger Woods video game.x CLOSE
The CDC discusses the recent outbreak of sex addiction in the country.x CLOSE
The 4th graders all get tested for sexual addiction.x CLOSE
The CDC addresses the growing threat, while the boys struggle to cope with their addiction.x CLOSE
Cartman and Stan really get into the new Tiger Woods video game.x CLOSE
Kyle and Butters join some celebrities in sex rehab.x CLOSE
The scientists test the effects of money on chimpanzees.x CLOSE
The sex addicts review the fundamental problem behind their addiction.x CLOSE
The scientists voice their concerns about an epidemic to President Obama.x CLOSE
Cartman and Stan get more into the video game, while Butters and Kyle continue therapy.x CLOSE