- PEOPLE ARE RILED UP.
HOPEFULLY WE CAN CLEARTHE AIR HERE THIS MORNING.
- IF WE COULD JUST KEEP IT TOQUESTIONS ABOUT STUDENT COUNCIL?
- OF COURSE.THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.
- FIVE SECONDS.
- DON'T WORRY.I WON'T GO TOO HARD ON YOU.
GOOD MORNING,SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY.
THESE ARETHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.
REHEARSALS FOR THE SCHOOL PLAYARE CANCELED THIS AFTERNOON.
FOR THE LUNCH,THE CAFETERIA
WILL BE SERVINGMEAT LOAF OR VEGGIE PASTA.
MY GUEST TODAYIS THE STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT
OF SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY,WENDY TESTABURGER.
WENDY, THANK YOUFOR COMING ON THE SHOW.
- WENDY, I WANT TO START
BY ASKING A PRETTYSTRAIGHTFORWARD QUESTION,
AND I HOPEYOU DON'T TAKE OFFENSE TO IT.
- OKAY.- HOW MANY SMURF BERRIES
IS THE LIFEOF EACH SMURF WORTH?
- I DON'T--I--I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT--
- YOU DON'T KNOWHOW MANY SMURF BERRIES
THE LIFEOF EACH SMURF IS WORTH.
- OH, HE'S GOT HER NOW!
- WOULD YOU AGREE THAT THESCHOOL IS IN A CRISIS RIGHT NOW?
- I BELIEVETHERE IS A FEW THINGS WRONG
WITH THE SCHOOL, BUT--
- IF A SMURF DIES
AND NO ONE IS AROUND TO HEAR IT,DOES IT STILL SCREAM?
- SHE'S SPEECHLESS!
- YOU ARE THE PRESIDENTOF THE SCHOOL.
CAN YOU SEEWHY MANY STUDENTS THINK
YOU'RE AN INEFFECTIVE SLUT?
ARE YOU DENYING THAT THE SMURFHOLOCAUST EVER HAPPENED?
IS THAT WHATYOU'RE SUGGESTING?
- LOOK, ERIC.
YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,
THE SMURF BERRIES WERE OURSCHOOL GOVERNMENT'S ONLY OPTION!
- YES, AND THAT MAKES--WAIT, WHOA, WHAT?
- WHAT WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO?
THE SCHOOLWAS RUNNING OUT OF POWER!
WE TRIED RELOCATINGTHE SMURFS AT FIRST,
BUT THEY WOULDN'T BUDGE.
SO WE DECIDED TO GET SOMEBODYON THE INSIDE--
A MEMBER OF THE SCHOOL WHOCOULD ACT LIKE ONE OF THE SMURFS
AND LEARN THEIR SECRETS.
BUT OF COURSE,YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?
- WHAT--WHAT DO YOU MEANI KNOW THAT?
- I'M JUST ASKING THE QUESTION.
WE ALL KNEW YOU WERE SENT INTO LIVE WITH THE SMURFS,
BUT DID YOU KNOWTHEY WOULD BE WIPED OUT?
- NO, YOU WIPED THEM ALL OUT!
- NOBODY EXPECTED YOUTO FALL IN LOVE WITH SMURFETTE.
YOU WENT TO LEARN FROM THEM,
BUT INSTEAD YOU BECAMEONE OF THEM, RIGHT?
FOUGHT AGAINST YOUR OWN KIND,
WHEN YOU KNEWWE'D STOP AT NOTHING.
DO YOU KNOWTHAT ONE SMURF BERRY
CAN POWER THE SCHOOLFOR TWO MONTHS?
ONE SMURF BERRY!
- WAIT, HOLD ON.CAN WE TAKE A BREAK?
- NO, IT'S OKAY.IT'S ALL OUT IN THE OPEN NOW.
I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO KILLTHE SMURFS
IF THEYWOULD'VE SIMPLY MOVED ON,
BUT YOU GAVE THEMTHE WILL TO STAY.
AND I GUESSYOU CAN'T BE BLAMED FOR THAT.
- AND THAT IS WHY...
I AM STEPPING DOWN.
YOU WERE RIGHTALL ALONG, CARTMAN.
AND I AM HEREBY MAKING YOUTHE STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT.
- ALL RIGHT!CARTMAN'S PRESIDENT!
WE DID IT.
- I'M CONFUSED.
- DUDE, YOU CAN'T TAKEMY DANCES WITH SMURFS IDEA
AND TURN IT INTO YOUR OWN THING.- NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THE STUDENTSALL DESERVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
AND SO I HAVE ANSWEREDWHAT REALLY HAPPENED
IN MY NEW BOOK-- GOING ROGUE ON THE SMURFS.
- NO, NO, DUDE. YOU DON'TJUST TAKE ONE PERSON'S STORY
AND THEN ADD A COUPLE THINGSAND CALL IT YOURS!
- LUCKILY,WITH THE MONEY I MADE
SELLING THE MOVIE RIGHTSTO MY BOOK, I'LL BE OKAY.
- YOU SOLD THE MOVIE RIGHTS?TO WHO?
- JAMES CAMERON.
GO LOOK.THE MOVIE CAME OUT ALREADY.
- THEY CAN'T DO THAT!I'M STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT!
Going Rogue on the Smurfs
The truth comes out about Wendy, the smurfs, and the state of the school.
Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers concert where they each get purity rings.x CLOSE
The Coon rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park.x CLOSE
Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate state of the economy.x CLOSE
Someone plays an April Fool's joke on the boys and it doesn't go over well.x CLOSE
A Hip Hop Superstar comes to terms with being a gay fish.x CLOSE
Randy has a plan that will ensure Stan a first place trophy in this year's Pinewood Derby.x CLOSE
Cartman's dream of living the life of a pirate will come true if he can just get to Somalia.x CLOSE
Ike is being tormented by paranormal forces. Kyle brings in professional ghost hunters to help save his little brother.x CLOSE
Butters is determined to get his first kiss so his friends won't make fun of him anymore.x CLOSE
After attending their first WWE match, all the boys want to be professional wrestlers.x CLOSE
The morning announcements get a bit more intense than usual.x CLOSE
After the tragic loss of Gordon, the school tries to fill the position.x CLOSE
Cartman uses his first day of morning announcements to start asking questions.x CLOSE
Cartman continues to probe for answers about South Park Elementary.x CLOSE
Using his new video system, Cartman spells out the true nature of Wendy's intentions.x CLOSE
Cartman holds a signing for his new book "What Happened to My School?".x CLOSE
Eric's book gains popularity, but the administration tries to shut him down.x CLOSE
In a controversial segment, Cartman unveils the true story about his life with the Smurfs.x CLOSE
Butters rallies a charge against Wendy.x CLOSE
Butters makes Wendy pay for the travesties she's committed against the smurfs.x CLOSE