- LIVE FROMTHE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE,
THESE ARETHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.
HERE IS ERIC CARTMAN.
- YESTERDAY,AS MOST OF YOU KNOW,
I WALKED OUT ON THIS PROGRAMAND ON OUR SCHOOL.
I WAS SO FED UP WITHOUR PRESIDENT'S HYPOCRISIES--
ME NOT BEING ALLOWEDTO SELL MY BOOK.
I WANTED TO LIVE IN A PLACE
WHERE MY VALUESWERE STILL UPHELD.
AND SO I DECIDEDTO LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND
AND INSTEAD GO AND LIVEWITH THE SMURFS.
I SIMPLY OBSERVEDTHE GENTLE SMURFS AT FIRST.
I WANTED TO UNDERSTANDHOW THEY COULD LIVE
SUCH SIMPLE AND DECENT LIVES.
THEY WERE WARY OF MEAT THE BEGINNING,
BUT SLOWLY,I BEGAN TO EARN THEIR TRUST.
IT WASN'T LONGBEFORE THE GENTLE SMURFS
ACCEPTED MEAS ONE OF THEIR OWN.
- THE SMURFS AND I GREWTO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER.
THEY SHARED WITH ME THEIR ARTOF PICKING SMURF BERRIES.
AND I SHARED WITH THEM STORIESOF MY COUNTRY'S FOREFATHERS.
OF COURSE,IT WASN'T LONG
BEFORE I FELL IN LOVEWITH SMURFETTE.
WE'RE FROMTWO DIFFERENT WORLDS,
AND YET WE SPOKETHE COMMON LANGUAGE OF PASSION.
- THESE ARETHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS?
- PAPA SMURFWAS DISPLEASED AT FIRST.
HE TOLD SMURFETTEI WASN'T A REAL SMURF,
AND WE COULD NEVER BE HAPPY.
BUT I EVENTUALLY PROVED MYSELFTO PAPA SMURF
BY PICKING MORE SMURF BERRIES
THAN ANY SMURFHAD EVER SMURFED BEFORE.
FINALLY,ALL WAS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.
BUT THEN...A CRISIS.
CLUMSY SMURF BURSTINTO THE SMURF CEREMONY
TO SAY THAT HUMANS HAD COMETO DESTROY ALL OF SMURFLAND.
NO, YOU MUST LEAVETHE NOBLE SMURFS ALONE!
WHO'S BEHIND ALL THIS?
[gasps]I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
- OUT OF MY WAY!
- WENDY,WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- SMURF BERRIESARE WORTH A LOT OF MONEY.
WITH ALL THOSE SMURF BERRIES,
I CAN POWER THE SCHOOLFOR THE ENTIRE YEAR!
- WENDY, I KNOW YOU'RE PRESIDENTOF OUR SCHOOL,
BUT YOU CAN'T JUST DIG UPTHE SMURF'S LAND!
- FUCK THE SMURFS!
THEY CAN SUCK MY FAT TITS.
- HOW MANY SMURF BERRIESIS ENOUGH, WENDY?
- YOU CAN SUCKMY FAT TITS TOO.
- SMURFETTE, NO!
- SUCK MY FAT TITS!
- [crying softly, sniffles]
AND SO NOW OUR SCHOOLHAS PLENTY OF PRECIOUS,
UNOBTAINABLE SMURF BERRIES.
YEAH, WELL, BIG DEAL.
AT WHAT COST DIDOUR SCHOOL PRESIDENT GET IT?
EVERY SMURF IS DEAD,
WIPED OUT, AND WE WILLNEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.
GO ON, LOOK OUTSIDE.YOU WON'T SEE ANY SMURFS.
- OF COURSE,SINCE I'M BEING SILENCED,
I'M NOT ALLOWED TIMETO SHOW YOU THE ENTIRE MOVIE.
AND SO PLEASE BUY DANCES WITH SMURFS,
AVAILABLE NOW ON DVD.
THE QUESTION NOW IS,WHAT HAPPENED TO MORALS?
WHAT HAPPENED TO DIGNITY?
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SCHOOL?
Living with the Smurfs
In a controversial segment, Cartman unveils the true story about his life with the Smurfs.
Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers concert where they each get purity rings.x CLOSE
The Coon rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park.x CLOSE
Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate state of the economy.x CLOSE
Someone plays an April Fool's joke on the boys and it doesn't go over well.x CLOSE
A Hip Hop Superstar comes to terms with being a gay fish.x CLOSE
Randy has a plan that will ensure Stan a first place trophy in this year's Pinewood Derby.x CLOSE
Cartman's dream of living the life of a pirate will come true if he can just get to Somalia.x CLOSE
Ike is being tormented by paranormal forces. Kyle brings in professional ghost hunters to help save his little brother.x CLOSE
Butters is determined to get his first kiss so his friends won't make fun of him anymore.x CLOSE
After attending their first WWE match, all the boys want to be professional wrestlers.x CLOSE
The morning announcements get a bit more intense than usual.x CLOSE
After the tragic loss of Gordon, the school tries to fill the position.x CLOSE
Cartman uses his first day of morning announcements to start asking questions.x CLOSE
Cartman continues to probe for answers about South Park Elementary.x CLOSE
Using his new video system, Cartman spells out the true nature of Wendy's intentions.x CLOSE
Cartman holds a signing for his new book "What Happened to My School?".x CLOSE
Eric's book gains popularity, but the administration tries to shut him down.x CLOSE
In a controversial segment, Cartman unveils the true story about his life with the Smurfs.x CLOSE
Butters rallies a charge against Wendy.x CLOSE
Butters makes Wendy pay for the travesties she's committed against the smurfs.x CLOSE