- GOOD MORNING, STUDENTS.
THESE ARETHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.
IF YOU WILL DIRECTYOUR ATTENTION
TO THE NEW VIDEO MONITORSAT THE HEAD OF YOUR CLASS,
YOU WILL SEETHAT THE ANNOUNCEMENTS
ARE NOW BEING DONE IN VIDEO.
- OH, GOD.NO!
[upbeat rock music]
- LUNCH TODAYIS GOING TO BE PIZZA...
[sighs] FRIENDS, OUR SCHOOLIS DYING, AND YOU KNOW IT.
YOU FEEL IT.
YOU'RE LIKE--YOU'RE LIKE ME.YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT.
BUT, OH, NO, WENDY TESTABURGER'SNOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN.
THIS IS NOT THE SCHOOLWE GREW UP IN, AND...
AND I DON'T KNOWIF WE CAN GET IT BACK.
SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT EXACTLYWHAT OUR SCHOOL PRESIDENT WANTS.
YOU KNOW,WHAT IS SHE TRYING TO ACHIEVE?
LET'S JUST TAKE A LOOKAT THESE KEY WORDS HERE.
WENDY HAS MADE IT CLEARTHAT SHE WANTS OUR SCHOOL
TO BE A MORE INTEGRATED,LEFTIST, AND LIBERAL PLACE.
BUT YOU SEE WHEN THAT HAPPENS,WHAT WE GET
IS A SOCIALIST, MODERN, UTOPIAN,REFORMED FARCE OF A SCHOOL.
SO WHEN YOU LOOK CLOSELY,
IT BECOMES VERY OBVIOUSWHAT WENDY WANTS.
OUR SCHOOL PRESIDENTWANTS TO KILL SMURFS.
- I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE TURNINGINTO A SMURF-HATING SCHOOL
OR WHAT WE'RE TURNING INTO.
BUT UNLESS YOU ASK WHY,
WE'RE GONNA TRANSFORMINTO SOMETHING.
- HEY, WENDY.WENDY!
IS IT TRUE?
- IS WHAT TRUE?
- THAT YOU HATE SMURFS.
- I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
- HEY, NOW, ME AND US FELLERSARE JUST ASKING QUESTIONS!
all: YEAH!- YEAH, WE CAN ASK.
- TRY TO UNDERSTAND THIS--
ALL I DO IS TRY TO HELP RUNSTUDENT COUNCIL.
I DON'T GIVE A CRAPABOUT SMURFS!
- [gasps]IT IS TRUE.
- OH, MY GOD!- SHE ADMITTED IT!
- OH, MY GOD.
- MAYBE YOU GUYS SHOULD CHECK
INTO WHAT STUDENT COUNCILACTUALLY DOES
BEFORE YOU JUST BLINDLY LISTEN
TO WHAT SOME IDIOTWITH A MICROPHONE TELLS YOU!
- WHAT DID THE SMURFSEVER DO TO YOU, YOU BITCH?
I JUST CALLEDTHE PRESIDENT A BITCH.
- YEAH.- THAT WAS COOL.
- AWESOME.- YEAH, GREAT JOB.
Using his new video system, Cartman spells out the true nature of Wendy's intentions.
Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers concert where they each get purity rings.x CLOSE
The Coon rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park.x CLOSE
Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate state of the economy.x CLOSE
Someone plays an April Fool's joke on the boys and it doesn't go over well.x CLOSE
A Hip Hop Superstar comes to terms with being a gay fish.x CLOSE
Randy has a plan that will ensure Stan a first place trophy in this year's Pinewood Derby.x CLOSE
Cartman's dream of living the life of a pirate will come true if he can just get to Somalia.x CLOSE
Ike is being tormented by paranormal forces. Kyle brings in professional ghost hunters to help save his little brother.x CLOSE
Butters is determined to get his first kiss so his friends won't make fun of him anymore.x CLOSE
After attending their first WWE match, all the boys want to be professional wrestlers.x CLOSE
The morning announcements get a bit more intense than usual.x CLOSE
After the tragic loss of Gordon, the school tries to fill the position.x CLOSE
Cartman uses his first day of morning announcements to start asking questions.x CLOSE
Cartman continues to probe for answers about South Park Elementary.x CLOSE
Using his new video system, Cartman spells out the true nature of Wendy's intentions.x CLOSE
Cartman holds a signing for his new book "What Happened to My School?".x CLOSE
Eric's book gains popularity, but the administration tries to shut him down.x CLOSE
In a controversial segment, Cartman unveils the true story about his life with the Smurfs.x CLOSE
Butters rallies a charge against Wendy.x CLOSE
Butters makes Wendy pay for the travesties she's committed against the smurfs.x CLOSE