- THE JOB IS TO READ WHATIS WRITTEN ON THE PAPER, ERIC,
NOT TO EMBELLISHTHE WAY YOU DO.
- OH, I GET IT.YOU'RE TRYING TO SILENCE ME.
YOU'RE SCARED THAT SOMEBODYIS STANDING UP TO THIS SCHOOL
AND ITS PRESIDENT FOR ONCE!
- NO, IT'S JUST THAT THEANNOUNCEMENTS NEED TO BE QUICK,
SO THE STUDENTS CAN GET ONWITH THEIR WORK.
- OH, REALLY?
THEN HOW COME GORDON STOLTSKIGOT TO GO ON
FOR, LIKE, FIVE MINUTESTHAT ONE DAY?
- WELL, BECAUSEHE WAS BEING MURDERED.
- YOU JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO READWHAT'S IN FRONT OF THEM
LIKE A BRAINWASHED ZOMBIE,IS THAT IT, MR. MACKEY?
I AM NOTGORDON STOLTSKI, OKAY?
I'M NOT SOME DOG ON A LEASH
THAT JUST BLINDLY SAYSWHAT HE'S TOLD
UNTIL HE'S KILLED.
- ALL WE ASKIS YOU KEEP IT SHORTER.
- OH, I WILL.
AND MAYBE I'LL ALSO HAVE A WORDWITH THE A.C.L.U.,
TELL THEM THAT A STUDENTIS BEING TOLD NOT TO SPEAK OUT
AGAINST HIS SCHOOL.
I'M SURE THEY'LL FIND THATVERY INTERESTING.
GOOD MORNING,SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY.
THESE ARETHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.
TRYOUTS FOR THE SOCCER TEAMARE FRIDAY AFTERNOON,
THAT IS, OF COURSE,IF OUR STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT
DOES SOMETHINGABOUT OUR ABYSMAL SOCCER FIELD.
I HAVE A QUESTION.
WHAT DOES WENDY TESTABURGERACTUALLY DO?
SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BETHE PRESIDENT, RIGHT?
WHAT IS HER AGENDA?SHE'S LYING TO EVERYONE.
OR IS SHE?LET'S ASK THESE QUESTIONS.
TODAY I WANT TO TALK BRIEFLY
ABOUT THE STATEOF OUR SCHOOL'S ECONOMY.
THE BAKE SALE LAST WEEKWAS A COMPLETE FAILURE.
AND BESIDES THAT, WHO ACTUALLYVOTED FOR WENDY TESTABURGER?
I KNOW I DIDN'T.
AND EVERYONE WHO DIDIS NOW SCRATCHING THEIR HEADS
AND GOING, "WHOOPS, GUESSI SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT."
I'M NOTIN THE STUDENT COUNCIL.
I'M JUST A NORMAL KIDLIKE ALL OF YOU.
AND LIKE ALL OF YOU,I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT HAS HAPPENEDTO MY SCHOOL.
all: I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCETO THE FLAG...
- OF THE UNITED STATESOF AMERICA--
OUR UNITED STATES, NOT THE ONEWENDY TESTABURGER WOULD HAVE--
A SOCIALIST DUNG HOLE.
all:A SOCIALIST DUNG HOLE...
What Has Happened to My School?
Cartman continues to probe for answers about South Park Elementary.
Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers concert where they each get purity rings.x CLOSE
The Coon rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park.x CLOSE
Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate state of the economy.x CLOSE
Someone plays an April Fool's joke on the boys and it doesn't go over well.x CLOSE
A Hip Hop Superstar comes to terms with being a gay fish.x CLOSE
Randy has a plan that will ensure Stan a first place trophy in this year's Pinewood Derby.x CLOSE
Cartman's dream of living the life of a pirate will come true if he can just get to Somalia.x CLOSE
Ike is being tormented by paranormal forces. Kyle brings in professional ghost hunters to help save his little brother.x CLOSE
Butters is determined to get his first kiss so his friends won't make fun of him anymore.x CLOSE
After attending their first WWE match, all the boys want to be professional wrestlers.x CLOSE
The morning announcements get a bit more intense than usual.x CLOSE
After the tragic loss of Gordon, the school tries to fill the position.x CLOSE
Cartman uses his first day of morning announcements to start asking questions.x CLOSE
Cartman continues to probe for answers about South Park Elementary.x CLOSE
Using his new video system, Cartman spells out the true nature of Wendy's intentions.x CLOSE
Cartman holds a signing for his new book "What Happened to My School?".x CLOSE
Eric's book gains popularity, but the administration tries to shut him down.x CLOSE
In a controversial segment, Cartman unveils the true story about his life with the Smurfs.x CLOSE
Butters rallies a charge against Wendy.x CLOSE
Butters makes Wendy pay for the travesties she's committed against the smurfs.x CLOSE