- GOOD MORNING,SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY.
THESE ARETHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS,
AND I AM ERIC CARTMAN.
ALL FORMSFOR THE SCHOOL BOOK DRIVE
MUST BE HANDED INTO MR. DAVIS IN THE LIBRARY
BY THE ENDOF THE SCHOOL DAY TODAY.
DOESN'T SEEM LIKE THEY GAVE USA LOT OF NOTICE ON THAT, OKAY.
FOR LUNCH TODAY,
THE CAFETERIA WILL BE SERVINGA SELECTION OF COLD SANDWICHES.
OH, WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
REMEMBER WHEN WE USED TO BESERVED HOT FOOD?
I MEAN, WHAT HAS HAPPENEDTO OUR SCHOOL?
THIS SCHOOL IS TRANSFORMINGINTO SOMETHING VERY BAD AND WHY?
BECAUSE WE HAVE LEADERSHIPTHAT DOESN'T CARE.
I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUTOUR STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT,
EVER SINCE WENDY WAS ELECTEDSTUDENT BODY PRESIDENT,
THIS SCHOOLHAS STARTED A RAPID DECLINE
TOWARDS SOME SOCIALIST REGIME
WHERE STUDENTSNO LONGER HAVE A VOICE.
THE MUSIC ROOM WILL BE CLOSEDOFF TODAY DUE TO PAINTING.
ALL STUDENTS IN BAND OR CHOIR
WILL MEETIN THE GYMNASIUM INSTEAD.
OH, OH, SO NOW--
SO NOW THE SCHOOL IS USING MONEYTO PAINT THE MUSIC ROOM.
HOW OLD AND OUTDATEDIS OUR PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT?
WHAT OTHER SCHOOL
HAS A 15-YEAR-OLDMERRY-GO-ROUND ON IT?
OUR SCHOOL PRESIDENTIS TURNING THIS WHOLE PLACE
INTO COMMUNIST RUSSIA.
IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCETHAT ONCE WENDY TOOK OFFICE,
THIS SCHOOL STARTED COMING APARTAT THE SEAMS.
YOUR TEACHERSDON'T WANT TO TELL YOU,
BUT THEY ARE SCARED,AND THEY SHOULD BE,
BECAUSE THE VERY FABRICOF THIS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
IS TEARING FROM ALL CORNERS.
- OH, JEEZ!
- BUT, HEY, I'M JUSTA NORMAL KID LIKE YOU,
EXCEPT THAT I ASK QUESTIONS.
AND BECAUSE I'M BRAVE ENOUGHTO ASK QUESTIONS,
I COME UNDER SCRUTINIES.
IS WENDY USING YOUR LUNCH MONEYTO BUY HEROIN?
PROBABLY NOT.BUT HOW CAN WE KNOW?
I DON'T WANT MY LUNCH MONEYGOING TO DRUGS.
WHO'S TAKING THESE DRUGS?WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT?
I'M ASKING QUESTIONS.
- WILL SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP?
Brave Enough to Ask Questions
Cartman uses his first day of morning announcements to start asking questions.
Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers concert where they each get purity rings.x CLOSE
The Coon rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park.x CLOSE
Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate state of the economy.x CLOSE
Someone plays an April Fool's joke on the boys and it doesn't go over well.x CLOSE
A Hip Hop Superstar comes to terms with being a gay fish.x CLOSE
Randy has a plan that will ensure Stan a first place trophy in this year's Pinewood Derby.x CLOSE
Cartman's dream of living the life of a pirate will come true if he can just get to Somalia.x CLOSE
Ike is being tormented by paranormal forces. Kyle brings in professional ghost hunters to help save his little brother.x CLOSE
Butters is determined to get his first kiss so his friends won't make fun of him anymore.x CLOSE
After attending their first WWE match, all the boys want to be professional wrestlers.x CLOSE
The morning announcements get a bit more intense than usual.x CLOSE
After the tragic loss of Gordon, the school tries to fill the position.x CLOSE
Cartman uses his first day of morning announcements to start asking questions.x CLOSE
Cartman continues to probe for answers about South Park Elementary.x CLOSE
Using his new video system, Cartman spells out the true nature of Wendy's intentions.x CLOSE
Cartman holds a signing for his new book "What Happened to My School?".x CLOSE
Eric's book gains popularity, but the administration tries to shut him down.x CLOSE
In a controversial segment, Cartman unveils the true story about his life with the Smurfs.x CLOSE
Butters rallies a charge against Wendy.x CLOSE
Butters makes Wendy pay for the travesties she's committed against the smurfs.x CLOSE