THE ANNOUNCEMENTSEVERY MORNING,
LED US IN THE PLEDGEOF ALLEGIANCE, MM-KAY,
AND TOUCHED MANY KIDS' LIVESHERE AT THE SCHOOL.
AND EVEN THOUGH WE NOW KNOW THATTHE SHOOTER HAD HIM CONFUSED
WITH A 40-YEAR-OLD TRUCK DRIVER
WHO HAPPENED TO HAVEA SIMILAR NAME,
I KNOW THIS HAS BEENPRETTY TRAUMATIZING, MM-KAY?
BUT NOW WE MUST DECIDEWHO WILL PICK UP
WHERE LITTLE GORDON LEFT OFF?
WHO WILL TAKE HIS PLACE READINGTHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS?
IT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY,
BECAUSE IT WILL BE YOUR VOICE
THE ENTIRE SCHOOLLISTENS TO, MM-KAY?
AND ALTHOUGH GORDON STOLTSKICAN NEVER BE REPLACED, MM-KAY,
THERE MUST BEA STUDENT OUT THERE
WHO HAS THE DRIVEAND THE PASSION
TO HAVE HIS OR HER VOICE HEARDEVERY MORNING.
- OH, MY GOD.
SO YOU'RE, UH, TRYING OUT
TO BE THE MORNING-ANNOUNCEMENTPERSON AS WELL?
I THINK IT WOULD BE REALLYF-F-F-FUN
AND R-R-R-RAISEMY SELF-ES-ES-ES-ESTEEM.
- OH, THIS IS IT, HUH?
OKAY, UH, MIKE, WHY DON'T WEHAVE YOU TRY OUT FIRST?
- [laughs]HE STUTTERS LIKE A BITCH.
I'VE GOT THIS JOB IN THE BAG.
WHO ARE YOU?
[a la Casey Kasem]- MY NAME IS CASEY MILLER,
AND I'M IN THE THIRD GRADE.
EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER,
PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME I SHOULDREAD THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.
MY FRIENDS ALWAYS SAID TO ME,
"DEAR CASEY, YOUR VOICEIS LIKE BUTTER TO OUR EARS.
"COULD YOU PLEASE FIND A WAYTO GET THAT AUDIBLE CHOCOLATE
ON THE AIRWAVES?"
WELL, HERE I AM.
AND HOPEFULLY I'LL BE THE KIDWITH THE JOB.
- MM-KAY, REALLY NICE, MIKE.
UH, MAYBE NEXT TIME,YOU CAN GET PAST THE FIRST WORD.
OH, CASEY MILLER, GOOD.
YOU'RE TRYING OUT TOO?
- I'M TRYING OUTAND DRYING OUT
IN THE SULTRY SUMMER SUNTHAT IS MY VOICE.
- MM-KAY, ERIC,YOU WANT TO GO NEXT?
MM-KAY, ERIC,I'M JUST GONNA HAVE YOU READ
THIS PIECE OF PAPER.
- MR. MACKEY,WHAT'S A MORONIC JIZZ RAG?
WHAT ON EARTHARE YOU ASKING ME THAT FOR?
- WELL, IT'S JUST THAT...
THAT'S WHAT THAT CASEY KID SAIDABOUT YOUR HAIRPIECE.
- GET LOST,YOU LITTLE DIRT BALL!
- EXCUSE ME?
- I SAID TAKE A HIKE!
- I DON'T UNDERSTANDWHAT I DID WRONG.
- BEAT IT!YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE JOB!
Trying Out and Drying Out
After the tragic loss of Gordon, the school tries to fill the position.
Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers concert where they each get purity rings.x CLOSE
The Coon rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park.x CLOSE
Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate state of the economy.x CLOSE
Someone plays an April Fool's joke on the boys and it doesn't go over well.x CLOSE
A Hip Hop Superstar comes to terms with being a gay fish.x CLOSE
Randy has a plan that will ensure Stan a first place trophy in this year's Pinewood Derby.x CLOSE
Cartman's dream of living the life of a pirate will come true if he can just get to Somalia.x CLOSE
Ike is being tormented by paranormal forces. Kyle brings in professional ghost hunters to help save his little brother.x CLOSE
Butters is determined to get his first kiss so his friends won't make fun of him anymore.x CLOSE
After attending their first WWE match, all the boys want to be professional wrestlers.x CLOSE
The morning announcements get a bit more intense than usual.x CLOSE
After the tragic loss of Gordon, the school tries to fill the position.x CLOSE
Cartman uses his first day of morning announcements to start asking questions.x CLOSE
Cartman continues to probe for answers about South Park Elementary.x CLOSE
Using his new video system, Cartman spells out the true nature of Wendy's intentions.x CLOSE
Cartman holds a signing for his new book "What Happened to My School?".x CLOSE
Eric's book gains popularity, but the administration tries to shut him down.x CLOSE
In a controversial segment, Cartman unveils the true story about his life with the Smurfs.x CLOSE
Butters rallies a charge against Wendy.x CLOSE
Butters makes Wendy pay for the travesties she's committed against the smurfs.x CLOSE