is taking over our city,our state, our nation.

Queefing has becomean acceptable evil.

"Last week at our... school,

"a girl queefed rightinto our friend's face.

"That is why we are hereto tell you,

"it's not a joke.

"On television,us children are starting

to see and hear more and moregraphic queefing."

I would like totake this opportunity

to explain why farts are funnyand queefs are not.

Men have alwaysjoked about farts

and we, in fact,name our farts.

We have the "Squeaker."

( squeaking fart )

And then there'sthe "Fog Horn."

( bellowing fart )

And the "Don't Be Scared."

( staggering fart )

And of coursethere's the--

Excuse me !

If that reallyis your argument,

it isn't a very sound one.

Women name theirqueefs too.

That's right !Yeah, that's right !Of course we do !

For instance, we havethe "Sneezing Unicorn."

( sneezing queef )

And the "Resuscitator."

( stuttering queef )

Sick !Stop it, lady !

That's not the same !

We've got the"Chinese Firecracker."

( explosive fart )

That's all well and good,

but we can do"The Road Warrior."

( queef )NOOOO !

We go innnnn !

We killll !

No more talk !We killll !

Soon my dog of war !

But we have todo it my way !

Losers !Losers wait !

Ahghghgghh !Ahghghgghh !Ahghghgghh !