( light applause )
BRAVO, OBAMA AND McCAIN.
TEN YEARS YOU TWO HAVE BEENWORKING ON THIS PLAN
AND YOU FINALLYPULLED IT OFF.
GUYS WE'VE ALLKNOWN EACH OTHERA LONG TIME
HAD MANY INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES
BUT THIS IS GOING TO BE OURGREATEST FEAT EVER.
I KNEW IT !
I KNEW WHEN YOU TWORAN FOR PRESIDENT
YOU WERE JUSTWORKING AN ANGLE.
ALWAYS WORKIN'THE ANGLES.
MY FRIENDS, WHILE THEENTIRE COUNTRY IS BUSY
REACTING TOTHE ELECTION
WE ARE ABOUT TO PULL OFFTHE GREATEST HEIST
IN HUMAN HISTORY.
SO... COME ON,ENLIGHTEN US.
WHAT ARE WESTEALING THIS TIME ?
THE HOPE DIAMOND.
RATED NUMBER FOUR OF THETEN MOST PRECIOUS DIAMONDS
IN THE WORLD.
GOING STREET VALUE,MIDDLE EASTERN MARKET, OF COURSE
$ 210 MILLION DOLLARS.
NO, NO,NO, NO, NO.
THE HOPE DIAMONDIS UNGETTABLE.
EVERY THIEF IN THE WORLDKNOWS THAT.
THE DIAMOND IS KEPT IN THESMITHSONIAN NATURALHISTORY MUSEUM
LONG CONSIDERED TO BE THE MOSTTHIEF-PROOF STRUCTUREEVER BUILT.
THE DIAMOND WING IS PROTECTEDBY IMPENETRABLE WALLS
OF 2-FOOT WIDE STEEL.
ON THE NORTHEAST SIDE,A SEVEN-FIVE LASER SYSTEM.
THERE IS SIMPLY NO SIDEOF THE SMITHSONIAN
THAT CAN BE BREACHED.
SO YOU GO INFROM THE ROOF.
DROP INTO ITFROM THE TOP.
CAN'T GET TO ITFROM THE TOP.
BECAUSE A POLYMER SHELFRUNS THE ENTIRE EXPANSE.
OKAY, YOU CAN'T GET INTOTHE MUSEUM FROM ANY SIDE
AND YOU CAN'TDROP FROM ABOVE.
SO YOU CAN'TGET THE DIAMOND.
MEET THE PRESIDENTIALESCAPE TUNNEL.
A TWO-MILE-LONGUNDERGROUND PASSAGE
THAT RUNS FROMTHE WHITE HOUSE
TO A LOCATIONOUTSIDE THE CITY LIMITS
IN CASE OF AN ATTACK.
THE TUNNEL IS ONLY ACCESSIBLEFROM THE OVAL OFFICE
AND JUST HAPPENSTO TRAVEL...
RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE SMITHSONIANNATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM.
BOOM BABY !BOOM BABY !
YOU GET SOMEBODYINTO THAT TUNNEL
THEY CAN BLASTINTO THE MUSEUM -
LET THE OTHERS IN...
THE HEIST IS ON.
SO YOU BOTHRUN FOR PRESIDENT
BECAUSE ONEYOU HAS TO WIN
AND YOU'VE GOT YOURACCESS TO THE TUNNEL.
AND WE RUN A PARTICULARLYBRUTAL CAMPAIGN
SO THAT THE NATION IS ASDISTRACTED AS POSSIBLE
OVER THE NEXTEIGHT HOURS.
THIS ALL SOUNDSVERY RISKY.
WE'VE SPENT TEN YEARSPUTTING THIS PLAN TOGETHER.
IF WE ARE INDEED THE GREATESTTHIEF CLUB IN THE WORLD,
AND WE ARE...
WE WON'TGET CAUGHT.
The Greatest Thief Club In The World
President Obama and John McCain lay out their plans for the country.
After a routine tonsillectomy goes horribly wrong, Cartman comes face to face with his own mortality.x CLOSE
When the boys help Britney Spears get to the North Pole, they discover the shocking secret behind her popularity.x CLOSE
In a South Park homage to the 1981 film "Heavy Metal," the boys are trying to get Kenny off the latest drug craze that's captured the junior high and under set.x CLOSE
The head of the World Canadian Bureau leads the country into a long and painful strike and the responsibility of brokering a settlement rests with the boys.x CLOSE
While Ms. Garrison is off trying to find a way to become the man he was always intended to be, Cartman is put in charge of the classroom.x CLOSE
One day the citizens of South Park wake up and find the Internet is gone. After hearing rumors of "Internet" in California, Randy packs up the family and heads out west.x CLOSE
While the kids are on an educational field trip to a living museum, Cartman makes Butters sneak away from the class to go to the amusement center located next door.x CLOSE
With the rest of the American people haunted by the memory of a recent tragic event, only Butters will stand with Cartman as he confronts the Chinese.x CLOSE
Wendy gets in trouble when she threatens to beat up Cartman after school.x CLOSE
While the world struggles to contain an epidemic of epic proportions, the boys find a way to make money off of it.x CLOSE
Barack Obama accepts his bid to be the next President, and Randy can't contain his excitement.x CLOSE
While Obama fans celebrate change, McCain supporters mope in disappointment.x CLOSE
Kyle can't find his Parents anywhere, and Obama gets some "rest".x CLOSE
The Obama celebration turns into an all-out street party.x CLOSE
President Obama and John McCain lay out their plans for the country.x CLOSE
Ike can't take the fact that McCain lost.x CLOSE
The new President-elect wants to see the Oval Office.x CLOSE
Thanks to Obama, Randy can finally tell his boss what he really thinks.x CLOSE
Sarah Palin is a little bit smarter than she seems.x CLOSE
McCain supporters seek refuge in Mr. Stotch's bunker.x CLOSE