- WE'VE GOT A NEW MEMBER TODAY!
ERIC CARTMAN,DO YOU LOVE YOUR COUNTRY?
- I DO!I LOVE MY COUNTRY!
- DO YOU PLEDGE ALLEGIANCETO THE FLAG?
- I PLEDGE IT!
I PLEDGETHAT [bleep] ALLEGIANCE!
- YOU WANT USTO KICK 'EM OUT OF HERE, LAR?
NO, LEAVE THEM ALONE.
IT'S A NICE CHANGE TO SEE PEOPLEHAPPY AT THE DMV.
PERHAPS WE HERE AT THE DMVCAN START CHANGING AS WELL.
PERHAPS INSTEADOF TREATING PEOPLE BADLY,
WE CAN OFFER THEMCOMFORT AND HOPE.
WHY, THE DMV CAN BE A PLACE
WHERE PEOPLE COME TO GET THINGSOFF THEIR CHEST,
CONFESS, YES, BUT ALSO BE TOLDTHAT THEY'RE WORTH SOMETHING
IN THIS WORLD.
AND THEN DMVs EVERYWHERECAN BECOME A PLACE
WHERE PEOPLE FEEL SAFE.
AND WHEN THEYDO SOMETHING WRONG,
WE CAN OFFER FORGIVENESS.
DON'T YOU SEEWHAT THIS COULD LEAD TO?
DON'T YOU SEEWHAT WE COULD BECOME?
- THE DMV WAS SHUT DOWN TODAY
AFTER RAMPANT ALLEGATIONSOF SEX WITH YOUNG BOYS.
THE HEADS OF THE DMVWERE ARRESTED,
AND THE DIRECTOR STATED, "HEY,IT CAME WITH THE TERRITORY."
WITH THE DMV SHUT DOWN,AMERICANS HAVE BEEN ASKED
TO CONFESS ALL WRONGDOINGSAT THEIR NEAREST POST OFFICE.
WE'VE JUST RECEIVED WORDTHAT THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE
HAS BEEN SHUT DOWNDUE TO RAMPANT ALLEGATIONS
OF SEX WITH YOUNG BOYS.
IT NOW APPEARS THAT THE ONLYPEOPLE WHO CAN BE TRUSTED
WITH CONFESSIONS AND GUIDANCEIS YOUR LOCAL NEWS STATION.
WMZ NEWS WILL BE BACK IN
A YOUNG BOY.
Cartman pledges his allegiance to the country and the DMV workers have a change of heart.
Cartman infiltrates the NSA and doesn't like what he finds in his personal file.x CLOSE
The boys use the game of "Minecraft" as a distraction to keep their parents from hurting each other.x CLOSE
Cartman sees Token as a threat to all humanity.x CLOSE
The Goth kids are being sent away to a camp for troubled children.x CLOSE
When Ike hits puberty, he and Kyle start to grow apart. To save their relationship, Kyle takes Ike to see a live performance of Yo Gabba Gabba.x CLOSE
Cartman's latest prank brings peace to the world.x CLOSE
The boys prepare to battle the crowds already lining up for the first official day of holiday shopping.x CLOSE
Black Friday is almost here and the battle for the new gaming devices is heating up. Princess Kenny's betrayal has left Cartman out for revenge.x CLOSE
The doors to the mall will finally open for the biggest Black Friday sale in history. The boys are divided, but a bloody battle will determine which gaming device is victorious.x CLOSE
When Wendy tries to fix one of her girl friends up with Butters, she ends up in the counselor's office.x CLOSE
Cartman's "private conversation" pisses Kyle off.x CLOSE
Cartman complains about the NSA invading his privacy and sends a message out to his followers.x CLOSE
Butters thanks the government and President Obama for watching over him, while Cartman comes up with a plan to infiltrate the NSA.x CLOSE
The newest form of social media takes your thoughts and puts them directly on the internet.x CLOSE
Cartman uses “Shitter” to talk about his plans for the NSA.x CLOSE
Butters confesses all his sins at the DMV.x CLOSE
Cartman puts on his best disguise to infiltrate the NSA.x CLOSE
Butters uses a visit from Jehovah's Witnesses to spread the good word about the Government.x CLOSE
Cartman has his first day working as an NSA agent.x CLOSE
Butters visits Craig and preaches about letting the government into your heart.x CLOSE