IS FACING AN ECONOMICAND ECOLOGICAL CRISIS
OF DISASTROUS PROPORTIONS.
I'M TALKING, OF COURSE,ABOUT PERUVIAN FLUTE BANDS.
( murmuring )
THE RED DOTS INDICATE WHERETHE HIGHEST CONCENTRATIONS
OF PERUVIAN FLUTE BANDS ARE.
ALL OVER THE WORLD, WHEREVERTHERE ARE TOURISTS OR SHOPPERS,
THERE ARE NOW, ON AVERAGE,
65 PERUVIAN FLUTE BANDSPER SQUARE KILOMETER.
AND THE NORTHEASTERNUNITED STATES
ARE CURRENTLYTHE HARDEST HIT.
MAKE NO MISTAKE, THIS ISA PAN-FLUTE EPIDEMIC.
A "PANDEMIC" ?
THREE COUNTRIES IN ASIAAND SEVEN IN EUROPE
HAVE ALREADYASKED FOR OUR HELP
IN GETTING RID OF THEIRPERUVIAN FLUTE BANDS.
WE WILL NEED EVERY RESOURCEAVAILABLE TO SEE THIS THROUGH.
EXCUSE ME, BUT AIDOTHER COUNTRIES ?
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,WE NEED TO BE DEALING WITH
OUR OWN PAN-FLUTE BANDS.
LET OTHER COUNTRIESFEND FOR THEMSELVES.
YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD.
THIS COUNTRY WASFOUNDED ON BELIEFS
IN FREEDOM AND INTEGRITY.
AND WE WILL NOTSIT BACK AND DO NOTHING
ARE RAVAGED BYPERUVIAN FLUTE BANDS.
IS THAT CLEAR !
( sobbing ashamedly )
AS DIRECTOR OFHOMELAND SECURITY
I AM TAKING CONTROLOF THE MILITARY
UNTIL THE CRISISIS CONTAINED.
Pan Flute Epidemic
The Department of Homeland Security realizes they have an epidemic on their hands.
Stan is annoyed by the excess of Peruvian flute bands. Randy enjoys his new videocamera.x CLOSE
The boys decide forming a Peruvian flute band would be an easy way to make bank.x CLOSE
During their first public performance, the boys feel the heat of Peruvian flute competition.x CLOSE
The Department of Homeland Security realizes they have an epidemic on their hands.x CLOSE
The Department of Homeland Security launches a counter-attack on Pan Flute Bands.x CLOSE
Randy films his family watching the news.x CLOSE
The Boys try to reason with a guard, buy he doesn't want any more CDs.x CLOSE
Homeland Security informs the camp that they're about to be shipped off.x CLOSE
The Parents all wonder what has happened to the Boys.x CLOSE
Homeland Security tries to figure out where "Peruvian" is.x CLOSE