THEY ALL LAUGH AT ME...
AND THE GIRLS GIGGLEBEHIND MY BACK...
UNABLE TO EVEN GLANCEAT MY DISFIGURED FACE.
( man )DO NOT BURN DOWNTHE SCHOOL, KYLE.
WHO SAID THAT ?
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM ?
ABRAHAM LINCOLN ?
I AM ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
BURNING DOWN THE SCHOOLWILL NOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS.
YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN CHEATEDBECAUSE YOU ARE UGLY,
BUT I AM HERE TOSHOW YOU OTHERWISE.
COME, THERE ISMUCH TO SEE.
I WANT YOU TOLOOK IN HERE.
THIS WOMAN ISNANCY PINKERTON.
AS A CHILD, SHE WASCONSISTENTLY VOTED
THE MOST BEAUTIFULGIRL IN HER ENTIRE SCHOOL.
HER LIFE AS A YOUTHWAS FILLED WITH PRAISES
AND EVERYTHING BEINGHANDED TO HER.
BOYS TOLD HER SHEWAS SPECIAL,
SHE WAS FUNNY,SHE WAS INTERESTING.
BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSESHE WAS HOT.
IT WASN'T UNTILSHE REACHED AGE 40,
WHEN HER LOOKS STARTEDTO FADE,
THAT SHE LEARNEDSHE WAS ACTUALLY
ABOUT AS INTERESTINGAND SPECIAL AS A WET CARROT.
THIS IS THE HOME OF YOURNEW UGLY FRIEND, YAMAL.
BECAUSE HE'S UGLY, HE GETSNOTHING HANDED TO HIM.
HE HAS TO WORK ATMAKING SOMETHING OF HIMSELF.
BUT THAT WORK IS GONNAPAY OFF WHEN HE'S AN ADULT.
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALHE WILL HAVE CHARACTER:
SOMETHING KIDS WHO ARE HOTRARELY DEVELOP.
LIKE YOUR CLASSMATE CLYDE.
NOW THAT HE KNOWSHE'S GOOD LOOKING,
HE DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE ANYEFFORT TO BE SPECIAL.
NO, REBECCA'SJUST A FRIEND.
I WANNA BE WITH YOU NOW.
SURE, YEAH, I'LL BUYYOU SOME SHOES TOO.
NOW HIS LIFEWILL BE ABOUT GIRLS,
CHATTING WITH THEMON THE PHONE
AND BUYING THEM SHOES.
HE WILL MOST LIKELYMARRY VERY YOUNG
AND NOTREALIZE UNTIL AGE 40
THAT HE'S A TOTAL DOUCHE.
AND SO YOU SEE, KYLE,
IT IS ACTUALLY THE BEAUTIFULKIDS WHO ARE CURSED.
BUT I CAN'T WAIT TOBE AN ADULT TO BE HAPPY.
THAT'S FOREVER FROM NOW.
YOU MUST BE PATIENT.
JUST TAKE ME HOME.
I DON'T WANT TO BE HEREANYMORE.
TAKE ME HOME !
( sighs )VERY WELL.
KYLE, YOU NEED TO THINKABOUT WHAT I'VE TOLD YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO.
I DON'T WANT ANYBODYTELLING ME
HOW TO FEEL ANYMORE !
WELL, THEN YOU'REJUST A F--KING ASSHOLE !
Abraham Lincoln tries to show Kyle the benefits of being ugly.
The girls have a secret list ranking the boys' looks from cutest to ugliest.x CLOSE
The boys steal the girls' list, and Kyle is upset that he's ranked last.x CLOSE
Butters tells his parents he's not the ugliest boy in class.x CLOSE
Kyle's family does a bad job making him feel better.x CLOSE
Kyle feels like an ugly outcast at school.x CLOSE
Kyle attempts to give an ugly girl a makeover.x CLOSE
Stan is out of his element at the girls' list making meeting.x CLOSE
Abraham Lincoln tries to show Kyle the benefits of being ugly.x CLOSE
Wendy has found some discrepancies in the list's vote counting.x CLOSE
Kyle buys a lot of flammable liquids from a friendly hardware store clerk.x CLOSE