THEY ALL LAUGH AT ME...
AND THE GIRLS GIGGLEBEHIND MY BACK...
UNABLE TO EVEN GLANCEAT MY DISFIGURED FACE.
( man )DO NOT BURN DOWNTHE SCHOOL, KYLE.
WHO SAID THAT ?
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM ?
ABRAHAM LINCOLN ?
I AM ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
BURNING DOWN THE SCHOOLWILL NOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS.
YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN CHEATEDBECAUSE YOU ARE UGLY,
BUT I AM HERE TOSHOW YOU OTHERWISE.
COME, THERE ISMUCH TO SEE.
I WANT YOU TOLOOK IN HERE.
THIS WOMAN ISNANCY PINKERTON.
AS A CHILD, SHE WASCONSISTENTLY VOTED
THE MOST BEAUTIFULGIRL IN HER ENTIRE SCHOOL.
HER LIFE AS A YOUTHWAS FILLED WITH PRAISES
AND EVERYTHING BEINGHANDED TO HER.
BOYS TOLD HER SHEWAS SPECIAL,
SHE WAS FUNNY,SHE WAS INTERESTING.
BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSESHE WAS HOT.
IT WASN'T UNTILSHE REACHED AGE 40,
WHEN HER LOOKS STARTEDTO FADE,
THAT SHE LEARNEDSHE WAS ACTUALLY
ABOUT AS INTERESTINGAND SPECIAL AS A WET CARROT.
THIS IS THE HOME OF YOURNEW UGLY FRIEND, YAMAL.
BECAUSE HE'S UGLY, HE GETSNOTHING HANDED TO HIM.
HE HAS TO WORK ATMAKING SOMETHING OF HIMSELF.
BUT THAT WORK IS GONNAPAY OFF WHEN HE'S AN ADULT.
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALHE WILL HAVE CHARACTER:
SOMETHING KIDS WHO ARE HOTRARELY DEVELOP.
LIKE YOUR CLASSMATE CLYDE.
NOW THAT HE KNOWSHE'S GOOD LOOKING,
HE DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE ANYEFFORT TO BE SPECIAL.
NO, REBECCA'SJUST A FRIEND.
I WANNA BE WITH YOU NOW.
SURE, YEAH, I'LL BUYYOU SOME SHOES TOO.
NOW HIS LIFEWILL BE ABOUT GIRLS,
CHATTING WITH THEMON THE PHONE
AND BUYING THEM SHOES.
HE WILL MOST LIKELYMARRY VERY YOUNG
AND NOTREALIZE UNTIL AGE 40
THAT HE'S A TOTAL DOUCHE.
AND SO YOU SEE, KYLE,
IT IS ACTUALLY THE BEAUTIFULKIDS WHO ARE CURSED.
BUT I CAN'T WAIT TOBE AN ADULT TO BE HAPPY.
THAT'S FOREVER FROM NOW.
YOU MUST BE PATIENT.
JUST TAKE ME HOME.
I DON'T WANT TO BE HEREANYMORE.
TAKE ME HOME !
( sighs )VERY WELL.
KYLE, YOU NEED TO THINKABOUT WHAT I'VE TOLD YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO.
I DON'T WANT ANYBODYTELLING ME
HOW TO FEEL ANYMORE !
WELL, THEN YOU'REJUST A F--KING ASSHOLE !
Abraham Lincoln tries to show Kyle the benefits of being ugly.
The "N" bomb hits South Park and Cartman fights a midget.x CLOSE
Butters has to go to a special camp where they "pray the gay away."x CLOSE
An infestation of head lice plagues South Park Elementary. When Garrison refuses to name names, Cartman finds a way to detect who has lice so they can make fun of the unfortunate kid.x CLOSE
Hillary Clinton is in town for a big campaign rally. Cartman follows a lead on a possible terrorist attack.x CLOSE
Determined to get the real story behind why he has to decorate eggs for Easter, Stan falls in with an eccentric society that guards a legendary secret.x CLOSE
Ms. Garrison gets dumped again and she takes it out on the fourth grade class.x CLOSE
Increasing numbers of homeless are eating, sleeping and asking for change all over South Park. The boys are working to solve the homeless problem once and for all.x CLOSE
Cartman discovers the "joys" of having Tourette's Syndrome. Drunk with the power of saying whatever he wants without getting in trouble, he takes advantage of his new life with no filters.x CLOSE
Stan's dad becomes South Park's hometown hero when the guys down at the local bar see the size of his most recent crap.x CLOSE
When the entire contents of the world's imagination lay open before them, Stan and Kyle step right in. Back in South Park, Cartman swears he's seen a leprechaun.x CLOSE
The girls have a secret list ranking the boys' looks from cutest to ugliest.x CLOSE
The boys steal the girls' list, and Kyle is upset that he's ranked last.x CLOSE
Butters tells his parents he's not the ugliest boy in class.x CLOSE
Kyle's family does a bad job making him feel better.x CLOSE
Kyle feels like an ugly outcast at school.x CLOSE
Kyle attempts to give an ugly girl a makeover.x CLOSE
Stan is out of his element at the girls' list making meeting.x CLOSE
Abraham Lincoln tries to show Kyle the benefits of being ugly.x CLOSE
Wendy has found some discrepancies in the list's vote counting.x CLOSE
Kyle buys a lot of flammable liquids from a friendly hardware store clerk.x CLOSE