LOOKS LIKE YOURTIME IS UP, TOWELIE !
I'VE LEAD MY ADORING FANSRIGHT TO YOU !
ALRIGHT OPRAH !YEAH !
I'VE SHOWN MY FANS THATERGH... OW.... WHA--?
( Minge )ALRIGHT, EVERYONE BACK !
GET BACK I SAID !
WHAT THE HELLIS THIS ?
NOBODY MOVES,NOBODY GETS HURT!
MINGE-Y !WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
WE'RE GETTINGOUTTA HERE, GARY.
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER !
WHAT IS GOING ON ?
SHUT UP !
SHUT UP YOUMISERABLE OLD COW
OR SO HELP ME I'LLBLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT !
I WANT A CHOPPER-YOU GOT THAT? !
AND A JET WAITINGAT THE AIRPORT !
MINGE-Y, HAVE YOULOST YOUR MIND ?
COME ON, GARY.
YOU SAID YOU ALWAYSWANTED TO SEE PARIS.
NOT LIKE THIS, MINGE-Y,NOT LIKE THIS...
ALRIGHT,THE GIG IS UP-
PUT DOWN THE GUN.
STAY BACK MATE !
DROP THE GUN,AND STEP AWAY.
I'M WARNING YOU !
PUT IT DOWN,I SAID !
( gunshot )UGHNN !
JESUS MINGE,YOU KILLED HIM !
YOU SHOT HIM DEAD !
NO TURNING BACKNOW, GARY.
OH MY GOD...
I THINK I'MGONNA BE SICK.
KEEP YOUR HEAD, GARY !
I CAN'T...I'M GONNA PUKE -
( barfs )
AW, GARY...THAT SMELLS AWFUL.
NOW I'M GONNATHROW UP !
( hurling )
TRY TO LEAVE ANDI'LL SHOOT YOU TOO !
YOU HOSTAGES AREN'TGOING ANYWHERE
UNTIL WE GETWHAT WE WANT !
OH MY GOD !
WHAT ARE WEGONNA DO ?
YOU GOT USINTO THIS, TOWEL !
THINK OF SOMETHING !
ALRIGHT, I'M GONNAGET A LITTLE HIGH.
NO, NO I'M NOTGONNA GET HIGH !
EVERY TIME I GET HIGHI COME UP WITH IDEAS
THAT GET MEIN MORE TROUBLE.
I'M NOT GETTINGHIGH THIS TIME !
Oprah's Minge Has a Gun
Oprah's minge holds her audience hostage.
Towelie's memoir is published once he pretends he's a person, not a towel. He goes on "Oprah."x CLOSE
Oprah turns her audience into a lynch mob and chases Towelie off the set.x CLOSE
Towelie saves the hostages, allowing the police to shoot and kill Oprah Winfrey's asshole.x CLOSE
Towelie gets fired, gets high, and decides to write his memoir.x CLOSE
Towelie gets rejected, gets high, and decides to edit his memoir so he seems to be a person.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole decide to try to expose Towelie as a fraud.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole call Geraldo to tip him off about Towelie's identity.x CLOSE
Geraldo accuses Towelie of being a towel on "Larry King Live."x CLOSE
Oprah calls Towelie and invites him back on the show to defend himself.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge holds her audience hostage.x CLOSE