YOUR BOOK GOT METO GIVE UP ALCOHOL !
BUT I THOUGHTYOU WERE A PERSON !
YEAH, WE WANTOUR MONEY BACKYOU DUMB TOWEL !
NO INSULTAR MEXICANOS OLE !
NO INSULTARMEXICANOS OLE !
OH GOD, I'M REALLYIN TROUBLE NOW...
( ring )
STEPHEN, IT'S OPRAH.
CAN YOU COME ON MY SHOWAGAIN TOMORROW ?
WE NEED TOTELL THE AUDIENCE
WHY YOU CHANGED SOME OF THEFACTS IN YOUR BOOK.
THAT YOU THOUGHT IT NECESSARYTO HEIGHTEN CERTAIN THINGS
TO MAKE THE BOOKMORE RELEVANT TO PEOPLE.
JUST COME ONTHE SHOW AND EXPLAIN
IN A VERY LEVEL-HEADED WAY
THAT CHANGING SOME FACTSSHOULDN'T MATTER
IF THE BOOK HELPS PEOPLE.
THANKS OPRAH,YOU'RE A REAL FRIEND.
SEE YOU TOMORROW !
ALRIGHT, I'VE GOTONE CHANCE HERE.
I NEED TO FOCUS AND COME UPWITH WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY...
MAYBE I SHOULDGET A LITTLE HIGH.
NO, WAIT A MINUTE !
I'M NOT GONNA GETHIGH THIS TIME.
AW, COME ON...
YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH IDEASOF WHAT TO SAY ON OPRAH.
BUT... THE IDEAS I COME UPWITH WHEN I'M HIGH
KEEP GETTING ME TROUBLE.
YEAH, THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULDONLY GET A LITTLE HIGH.
WELL, MAYBEJUST A LITTLE HIGH...
Getting High Before Oprah
Oprah calls Towelie and invites him back on the show to defend himself.
Towelie's memoir is published once he pretends he's a person, not a towel. He goes on "Oprah."x CLOSE
Oprah turns her audience into a lynch mob and chases Towelie off the set.x CLOSE
Towelie saves the hostages, allowing the police to shoot and kill Oprah Winfrey's asshole.x CLOSE
Towelie gets fired, gets high, and decides to write his memoir.x CLOSE
Towelie gets rejected, gets high, and decides to edit his memoir so he seems to be a person.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole decide to try to expose Towelie as a fraud.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole call Geraldo to tip him off about Towelie's identity.x CLOSE
Geraldo accuses Towelie of being a towel on "Larry King Live."x CLOSE
Oprah calls Towelie and invites him back on the show to defend himself.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge holds her audience hostage.x CLOSE