THIS ISLARRY KING LIVE.
MY GUEST TONIGHT ISSTEPHEN McTOWELIE,
AUTHOR OF THE ACCLAIMED BOOK'A MILLION LITTLE FIBERS'.
HOW ARE YOUTONIGHT, STEPHEN ?
WELL LARRY,I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOUR BOOK HAS HELPEDA LOT OF PEOPLE BEAT ADDICTION,
WHAT MADE YOUWRITE IT ?
WELL, LARRY, I WASREALLY JUST WRITING DOWNMY MEMOIRS AS A--
WHAT ? WHAT'S THAT?OH EXCUSE ME, STEPHEN,
I UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAVEA SPECIAL REPORT COMING IN.
JOINING US LIVEFROM AFGHANISTAN,
HERE IS GERALDO RIVERA.
HELLO ? LARRY ARE YOURECEIVING ME ?
WE'RE HERE GERALDO,YOU'RE LIVE ON THE SHOW.
LARRY, THIS BRAVEREPORTER HAS SPENT DAYS
AND I HAVE COME UP WITHA SHOCKING DISCOVERY
THAT IS GOING TO ROCKTHE BALLS AND ASS
OF THE LITERARY WORLD.
STEPHEN McTOWELIE, AUTHOR OF"A MILLION LITTLE FIBERS"
IS A TOWEL.
YOU'RE A TOWEL!
NO, YOU'RE A TOWEL.
WELL, YOU'RE ABEANER TOWEL !
WHAT DID YOU SAY ?
I'M SORRY,I'M HIGH.
THIS LOOKSPRETTY BAD OPRAH.
YOUR FANS LOOK TO YOU
TO BE ALL-KNOWINGAND ALL-SEEING,
AND YOU'VE JUSTSPENT TWO WEEKS
SUPPORTING A LYING,RACIST TOWEL.
HE DID IT, GARY !
GERALDO GOTTHE PROOF !
OPRAH'S GOT EGGALL OVER FACE !
SHE'LL HAVE TO RETIRE !
IT'S THE BEGINNING OFA NEW LIFE FOR US, GAR !
WITHOUT HER CAREERTO WORRY ABOUT,
OPRAH'S SURE TOTRAVEL THE WORLD,
ENJOY THE FINERTHINGS IN LIFE.
SHE'LL SPEND HOURS,
JUST PLAYING WITHHER OL' MINGE.
AND HER GARY TOO ?
SURE, AND HER GARY.
WE DID IT, MATE.
OPRAH, WE NEED TO FIGURE OUTWHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO !
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ?
HIS BOOKHELPED PEOPLE,
WHY DOES IT MATTER THATHE MADE SOME STUFF UP ?
ARE PEOPLE REALLYGOING TO BE THAT MAD ?
High on Larry King Live
Geraldo accuses Towelie of being a towel on "Larry King Live."
Towelie's memoir is published once he pretends he's a person, not a towel. He goes on "Oprah."x CLOSE
Oprah turns her audience into a lynch mob and chases Towelie off the set.x CLOSE
Towelie saves the hostages, allowing the police to shoot and kill Oprah Winfrey's asshole.x CLOSE
Towelie gets fired, gets high, and decides to write his memoir.x CLOSE
Towelie gets rejected, gets high, and decides to edit his memoir so he seems to be a person.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole decide to try to expose Towelie as a fraud.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole call Geraldo to tip him off about Towelie's identity.x CLOSE
Geraldo accuses Towelie of being a towel on "Larry King Live."x CLOSE
Oprah calls Towelie and invites him back on the show to defend himself.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge holds her audience hostage.x CLOSE