MAYBE WE CAN GET HER INAS A GUEST ON THE 19th.
ALRIGHT, ISJOHN TRAVOLTA AVAILABLE
THE WEEK AFTER THAT ?
OKAY, THAT MIGHT WORK BETTERSINCE IT'S SWEEPS WEEK...
I CAN'T TAKE ITANY MORE.
ALL SHE EVER DOESIS WORK, WORK, WORK.
NEVER PAYS ANY ATTENTIONTO THE OL' MINGE.
I'M ALWAYS JUST TRAPPED INTHE STUFFY PANT SUITS.
I WANT ATTENTION.
I'M BLOODY BORED !
OH STOP YOURCOMPLAININ' !
I'M TRYING TOSLEEP BACK HERE !
OI, WHO'S THAT-IS THAT YOU GARY ?
YES, IT'S ME,
YOU THINK YOUGOT IT BAD ?
OPRAH HASN'T PAID ANYATTENTION TO ME IN YEARS.
OH WHAT DO YOU CAREYOU'RE JUST AN ASSHOLE.
I'M A MINGE !
MINGES NEEDSTIMULATION !
ASSHOLES NEEDSTIMULATION TOO,YA BASTARD.
I WANT TO TRAVEL,I WANT TO SEE PARIS.
I THOUGHT LIFE WASGOING TO GET BETTER.
BUT OPRAH'S ALWAYS BUSY.
WORKING AND WORKING,DIETING AND NOT DIETING.
I'M EITHER PUKING UPMOUNDS OF CHOCOLATE CAKE
OR TEASPOONSOF WHEAT GRASS.
SHE'S A WORKAHOLIC.
LET'S FACE IT-
THE ONLY WAY WE'RE EVERGOING TO GET ANY ATTENTION
IS IF OPRAH DOESN'TWORK ANY MORE.
WELL THAT WILLNEVER HAPPEN.
NOT UNLESSSHE GETS FIRED.
FIRED ? YOU GOTA PLAN, MINGE-Y ?
THAT BLOKE ONTHE SHOW TODAY
THE ONE OPRAH SUPPORTED.
HE ISN'TA BLOKE AT ALL...
HE'S A TOWEL.
OH, HOW DO YOU KNOW ?
I'M A MINGE.
MINGES KNOW A TOWELWHEN THEY HEAR ONE.
IF EVIDENCE GETS OUT
THAT OPRAH'S CHAMPIONAUTHOR IS A TOWEL
SHE'LL LOOKRIGHT FOOLISH.
FANS WILL STARTDROPPING OFF BYTHE MILLIONS.
HOW DO WE GET PROOF ?
WE GET SOMEBODYELSE TO DO IT.
THE GREATEST INVESTIGATIVEREPORTER OF OUR TIME...
Oprah's minge and asshole decide to try to expose Towelie as a fraud.
Towelie's memoir is published once he pretends he's a person, not a towel. He goes on "Oprah."x CLOSE
Oprah turns her audience into a lynch mob and chases Towelie off the set.x CLOSE
Towelie saves the hostages, allowing the police to shoot and kill Oprah Winfrey's asshole.x CLOSE
Towelie gets fired, gets high, and decides to write his memoir.x CLOSE
Towelie gets rejected, gets high, and decides to edit his memoir so he seems to be a person.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole decide to try to expose Towelie as a fraud.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole call Geraldo to tip him off about Towelie's identity.x CLOSE
Geraldo accuses Towelie of being a towel on "Larry King Live."x CLOSE
Oprah calls Towelie and invites him back on the show to defend himself.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge holds her audience hostage.x CLOSE