WHAT'S THE MATTERWITH YOU ?
I'M TOTALLY DEPRESSED.
WHAT-WHY ?I DON'T KNOW.
WELL HOW LONG HAVE YOUBEEN FEELING THIS WAY ?
I'M NOT SURE !
BUT...I NEED $240.00.
$240.00 ? WHAT'D YOU DO,BREAK SOMETHING ?
NO, I FOUND A SELF-HELPPROGRAM THAT CAN CURE ME !
OH JESUS, THE ANSWERIS NO, STANLY.
BUT I'M COMPLETELY MISERABLEAND THESE PEOPLE CAN HELP !
STANLY, I DIDN'T KNOWYOU WERE MISERABLE !
NEITHER DID I !
STANLY, DO YOU HAVE ANYCONCEPT OF MONEY AT ALL ?
MONEY DOESN'T GROWON TREES YOU KNOW !
DON'T YOU CARETHAT I'M DEPRESSED ?
WHAT IF I BECOMESUICIDAL
OR BECOME AN ALCOHOLICLIKE GRANDPA ?HAH ?
WELL IF YOU REALLY THINKYOUR LIFE IS SO BAD, STAN,
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE WHAT YOUHAVE OUT YOUR BICYCLE SAVINGS.
WUL, BUT...THAT'S MY MONEY.
YEAH, WELL, JUST LIKETHE REST OF US
YOU HAVE TO MAKECHOICES WITH YOUR MONEY.
YOU WANT A BIKE OR DO YOUWANT TO NOT BE DEPRESSED ?
A Bike or Not Being Depressed
Stan asks his parents for money to get help from the Scientologists, but they refuse.
Stan takes a free Scientology personality test.x CLOSE
Stan's E-Meter scores are shockingly high.x CLOSE
The head of the Church of Scientology tells Stan about the creation myth.x CLOSE
Stan asks his parents for money to get help from the Scientologists, but they refuse.x CLOSE
The head of Scientology believes Stan to be the second coming of L. Ron Hubbard.x CLOSE
The head Scientologist asks Stan to lead the Scientologists.x CLOSE
Tom Cruise visits Stan.x CLOSE
R. Kelly sings about Tom Cruise's refusal to come out of the closet.x CLOSE
Nicole Kidman tries to get Tom Cruise to come out of the closet.x CLOSE
Stan chooses Scientology over his friendship with the boys.x CLOSE