THIS ISCLOSED CIRCUIT TELEVISION
FOR SOUTH PARKELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
AND NOW... "SUPER SCHOOL NEWS".
THE NEWS MADE FOR STUDENTSBY STUDENTS.
WELCOME TOSUPER SCHOOL NEWS.
I'M JIMMY VALMER.
AND I'MRICK CARTMAN.
THE PRICE OF MILK MONEYWILL GO UP NEXT MONTH
TO FORTY NINE CENTS.
THE SCHOOL CLAIMSTHE ADDED MONEY IS DUE TO
THE COW SHORTAGEIN SOUTH PARK COUNTY.
PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCESWILL BE HELD
THIS WEDNESDAY NIGHTFROM SEVEN TO NINE.
SO KIDS, GET A LOT OF PLAYINGIN BEFORE YOU GET GROUNDED.
AND NOW FOR A LOOKAT WHAT'S ON THE MENU
FOR SCHOOL LUNCH TODAY,HERE'S STAN MARSH.
ERIC IT LOOKS AS THOUGHTHE SCHOOL WILL BE SERVING
A CHICKEN CUTLET.
NOW THAT'S TRADITIONALLYA WHITE MEAT CHICKEN BREAST,
IF YOU WILL, THAT HAS BEENBREADED AND THEN COOKED.
I'VE BEEN TOLD THERE WILLALSO BE TATER TOTS
AND A VEGETABLE DISH.
THIS IS REALLY SHAPING UPTO BE UH, ONE FANTASTIC LUNCH.
HARD-HITTING REPORTINGSTAN, THANKS A LOT.
AND NOW HERE WITHTHE CELEBRITY WATCH
IS BUTTERS STOTCH.
BUTTERS, SEEN ANYCELEBRITIES LATELY ?
NO, NOT YET.
I'VE BEEN STANDING OUTIN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL
FOR ABOUT TWO HOURS NOW
AND I HAVEN'T SEENANY CELEBRITIES.
ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES AGO,
I THOUGHT I SAWSIGOURNEY WEAVER...
B-B-UT, UH, TURNS OUTIT WAS A DEAD HORSE.
ALRIGHT, BUTTERS,KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.
MORE SNOWFOR SOUTH P-PARK ?
HERE'S TOKEN BLACKWITH THE WEATHER.
JIMMY AND ERIC, IT LOOKSLIKE A MASSIVE SNOW STORM
IS HEADINGSOUTH PARK'S WAY.
I ASKED MY DADLAST NIGHT,
AND HE SAIDHE HEARD THE SNOWSTORM
IS EXPECTEDON TUESDAY, GUYS.
KYLE BROFLOVSKINOW JOINS US
FOR A LOOKAT SPORTS.
AND KYLE, THE GIRLS'BASKETBALL TEAM
JUST CAN'TGET IT RIGHT.
ANOTHER DEVASTATING LOSSFOR THE COWS LAST NIGHT, ERIC.
THEY WERE AHEAD IN THE GAMEUNTIL KELLY ANDERSON
STARTED CRYING BECAUSESHE MISSED HER DADDY
WHO IS ON A BUSINESS TRIPIN THAILAND.
KELLY WAS SO UPSETSHE COULDN'T PLAY
AND THE COWSHAD TO FORFEIT.
THE COWS ARE ONA SIX AND 0 SLIDE
SINCE KELLY'S FATHER LEFTFOR THAT BUSINESS TRIP.
AND THAT'S ALL FORSUPER SCHOOL NEWS !
ENJOY YOUR DAY ATSOUTH PARK E-E-EL-
AND WE'RE... CUT !
Super School News
The boys anchor the South Park Elementary closed circuit news broadcast.
After buying martial arts weapons at a local flea market, the boys are transformed into anime Japanese Warriors.x CLOSE
Cartman must convince a qualifying committee that he's handicapped so as to defeat Jimmy in an upcoming sporting event.x CLOSE
Kyle finally sees "The Passion" and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along.x CLOSE
When Stan gets challenged to a dance-off, it's up to him to put a team of South Park's best dancers together to compete.x CLOSE
When Cartman dresses up like a robot to get Butters' innermost secrets, he gets in over his head. The army believes he's some new secret weapon, and Butters thinks he's found a new best friend.x CLOSE
Cartman goes out of his way to get the new neighbor "Mr. Jefferson" to love him. Meanwhile, the South Park Police decide to take "Mr. Jefferson" down for being black and wealthy.x CLOSE
Humans from the future arrive in South Park through a time portal, looking for work. When the boys try to earn some extra money, they learn the time immigrants have taken all the jobs.x CLOSE
PETA demonstrates against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary's mascot, forcing the student body to vote for a new mascot.x CLOSE
When a giant Wall-Mart comes to South Park, Stan and Kyle must to find a way to destroy the ever-expanding superstore...all while keeping Cartman from stabbing them in the back.x CLOSE
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Butters have kept a dark secret since pre-school. Now Trent Boyett is getting out of juvie and his first order of business is revenge.x CLOSE
After watching Craig's show, the boys are determined to make a better show.x CLOSE
The boys drink cough syrup.x CLOSE
"Sexy Action News Team Special Report: Cough Medicine Abuse in School" -- it's the report you can't afford to miss.x CLOSE
The boys anchor the South Park Elementary closed circuit news broadcast.x CLOSE
Mr. Meryl cancels the boys' news program.x CLOSE
The boys overhaul their news program.x CLOSE
A new Sexy Action News show debuts.x CLOSE
Jimmy stands up for real journalism.x CLOSE
The boys are going to fail their extra-curricular A/V class.x CLOSE
The boys can't think of a good show idea on their own.x CLOSE