ALRIGHT, CHILDREN, THE SCHOOLBOARD HAS MANDATED
THAT I MUST NOW TEACH CLASS
IN BOTH PRESENT DAY ENGLISHAND FUTURE SPEAK.
SO, WITH THAT IN MIND, LET'SCONTINUE OUR LESSONS ON VERBS.
REMEMBER THAT THERE ARETRANSITIVE VERBS SUCH AS:
"THE BOY THREW THE RED BALL."
WHICH IN FUTURE SPEAK, OFCOURSE, IS: GUACK GUCK.
EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME.
GUAC GUAC,GUAC GUAC.
AND THERE ARE INTRANSITIVEVERBS SUCH AS:
"THE 11:15 BUS FROM DENVERARRIVED TWELVE HOURS LATE."
OR IN FUTURE SPEAK--
DUDE, HOLD ON,THIS IS BULLCRAP !
IF THEY WANNA LIVEIN OUR TIME
THEN THEY SHOULD LEARNOUR LANGUAGE !
YEAH !HE'S RIGHT !
HEY NOW !
THESE IMMIGRANTS HAVE A RIGHTTO RETAIN THEIR CULTURE.
WHO ARE WE TO SAYOUR LANGUAGE IS BEST ?
THEY DESERVE TO HAVEAN EDUCATION
JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO.
THANK YOU, AGING HIPPIELIBERAL DOUCHE.
OKAY, NOW, LET'S GETBACK TO IT, KIDS.
WHICH KIND OF VERB IS THIS ?
"THE SAD GIRL PUTSBALLS IN HER MOUTH."
OR, IN FUTURE SPEAKOF COURSE,
GUACK GUACK BALLSGUACK GUACK.
The Sad Girl Puts Balls In Her Mouth
Everyone must learn Futurespeak.
A man from the future goes back in time to make himself a billionaire.x CLOSE
The people from the future are putting Americans out of work.x CLOSE
Stan's idea to work for a better future is gayer than actually being gay.x CLOSE
A strange being from the future gets hit by a car.x CLOSE
The man from the future's plan works and more people from the future follow suit.x CLOSE
The immigrants from the future are under cutting the boys' snow shoveling jobs.x CLOSE
Stan's parents accuse him of being an ignorant timecist.x CLOSE
Conservatives and liberals battle it out on "The O'Reilly Factor."x CLOSE
Everyone must learn Futurespeak.x CLOSE
Present day workers want to stop the future to save their jobs today.x CLOSE