( ring )
COME IN !!
GUYS, I NEEDTO TALK TO YOU.
WHAT'S THE MATTER ?
I CAN'T HANDLE ITANYMORE.
ALL THE FAME AND THEBEN AFFLECK SPOOGE--
I JUST CAN'T GO ONLIVING WITH MS. LOPEZ.
SO STOP DOING IT.
STOP DOING WHAT ?
YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL WHAT,NOW GET OUT OF HERE !
PLEASE, YOU GUYS,IT'S LIKE I CAN'T EVEN
HAVE A MOMENT TOMYSELF ANYMORE.
( gasping, coughing )
DON'T YOU DARE EVER DOTHAT TO ME AGAIN !
OH, STOP IT, CARTMAN, YOUR HANDDOESN'T NEED TO BREATHE !
YOU TRY BEING IN AN OVEN MITTFOR TWO HOURS !
I CAN SEEYOUR LIPS MOVING !
I CAN SEE YOUR LIPSMOVING TOO, CULO !
SEE ?I JUST SAW YOUR LIPS MOVE !
LOOK, I'M JUST ASKINGYOU GUYS FOR HELP.
WILL YOU PLEASE HELP MEWITH MS. LOPEZ ?
WHAT'S SHE DOING ?
COME HERE !
YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY BUYINGTHIS CRAP ARE YOU ?
I DUNNO-- MAYBEHE CAN'T HELP IT.
LOOK, HE KNOWS FULL WELLWHAT HE'S DOING.
AND HE'S JUST WAITING FOR USTO BUY INTO IT,
AND THEN HE'LL LAUGH ANDPOINT IN OUR FACES AND SAY,
"HA, HA, I GOT YOU GUYSTO BELIEVE ME !
YOU GUYS ARE STUPID !"
DUDE, DO YOU REALLY THINKHE WOULD GO THROUGH ALL THIS
JUST TO MAKE USLOOK DUMB ?
YES, DUDE !
CARTMAN, WE'VE DECIDEDTHAT IF YOU CAN BE MATURE
AND ADMIT TO EVERYONE
THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN YOURSELFINTO THIS MESS,
THEN WE'LL HELP YOU.
I KNOW THAT I CONTROLEVERYTHING MS. LOPEZ DOES.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T !
QUIET, MS. LOPEZ !
THERE YOU ARE, JENNY !
I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVERFOR YOU, BABY !
MS. LOPEZ, YOU WERE DUE INTHE STUDIO TWO HOURS AGO !
COME ON !
SO YOU'RE GETTINGMARRIED, HUH ?
( chainsaw revs )
DON'T YOU HURT HER !
WE'LL SUE YOU !
J-Lo Has A Chainsaw
Jennifer Lopez goes after Cartman with a chainsaw.
The impact is worldwide when the visitors return to South Park and the boys discover that Earth is one big intergalactic reality show.x CLOSE
When a recently disabled star visits South Park and steals Jimmy's limelight, he and Timmy fight back by forming a handicapped gang.x CLOSE
After convincing the boys to toilet paper their teacher's house, Cartman contemplates killing Kyle so he doesn't rat them all out.x CLOSE
When the boys join protesters to get out of school for a day, they find themselves in the middle of two opposing sides of the war issue.x CLOSE
The real Jenny From the Block is enraged when one of Cartman's body parts becomes too famous for its own good.x CLOSE
After starting their own South Park detective agency, the boys are officially named junior deputies by the police department.x CLOSE
Forced off their land by the owners of the Three Feathers Indian Casino, the boys rally South Park to fight the rich and powerful Indians.x CLOSE
The boys are hot to be gay once the metrosexual craze hits South Park, and Mr. Garrison accuses the Queer Eye guys of selling out.x CLOSE
Cartman hits the top of the charts with his own Christian rock band, and the boys get arrested for downloading music on the Internet.x CLOSE
After South Park's senior citizens mow down a few farmers' markets, the boys decide to take action against the older generation.x CLOSE
Cartman admits that his hand wasn't really J-Lo and makes a fool out of Kyle.x CLOSE
J-Lo and Ben Affleck show up at South Park Elementary.x CLOSE
Record execs love Cartman's J-Lo.x CLOSE
Cartman entertains the Latino Endowment Committee.x CLOSE
BHI wants to hear more music from Ms. Lopez.x CLOSE
Jennifer Lopez gets dropped and seeks revenge.x CLOSE
Cartman's J-Lo records a hit single.x CLOSE
Ben Affleck professes his love for Cartman's hand.x CLOSE
Cartman's hand is out of control.x CLOSE
Jennifer Lopez goes after Cartman with a chainsaw.x CLOSE