You kids ( bleep )don't ( bleep ) around
( bleep ) with your mom !
Dad, we ( bleeping ) can't !
The ( bleep, bleep )
STAN, WHAT'D I TELL YOU ABOUTWATCHING "THE OSBOURNES" ?
OH, COME ON, MOM !
IT'S GOING TO MAKE YOURETARDED !
IT'S JUST A SHOW !
IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY ( bleeping )EFFECT ON ME
FOR ( bleep )'S SAKE !
OH GOODIE, NOW WE CANWATCH THE NEWS.
In other news, South Parkpolice are still looking for
a crazy man who terrorizedthe town one hour ago.
The man claimed to befrom the future
and ran nakedthrough the city streets,
screaming, "The past !The past !
Oh my god,it's the past !"
Which is what one would expectsomeone from the future to yell.
( knocking )
OH MY GOD,IT'S THE PAST !
OH WHOA, MAN,IT'S YOU !
WHO ARE YOU ?
IT'S ME, MOM,YOUR SON, STAN !
WHO IS IT, SHARON ?
LOOK, WE DON'T KNOW YOUAND YOU DON'T KNOW US.
JUST GO AWAY BEFOREWE CALL THE POLICE.
WHO THE ( bleep ) IS IT,MOM AND DAD ?
NO WAY, IT'S MEFROM THE PAST !
I'M ME FROM THE PAST ?
NO, I'M YOUFROM THE FUTURE.
OH MAN, THIS ISSO MESSED UP.
OKAY, WE'VE HAD ENOUGH.
YOUR NAME'S RANDY MARSH.
YOU'RE A GEOLOGIST ANDYOU DON'T LIKE CHICKEN.
MOM, YOUR MAIDEN NAMEIS KIMBLE
AND YOU HAVE A SCARON YOUR LEFT KNEE
FROM WHEN YOU SLIPPED ATTHE SWIMMING POOL !
RANDY,WHAT'S GOING ON ?
I DON'T KNOW.
DUDE, JUST LET ME TALK TO YOUFOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES.
AFTER THAT, I'LL BAIL.
I CAN STILL REMEMBERWHEN I WAS FIVE
AND YOU BOTH FOUND THAT SQUIRRELI'D BEEN KEEPING IN THE CLOSET,
AND YOU LET ME KEEP ITFOR ANOTHER WEEK,
AND THEN IT RAN AWAY.
BUT THAT'S WHATYOU TOLD ME,
I KNEW MOM HAD ACTUALLYLET IT OUT.
HOW COULD HE POSSIBLYKNOW ALL THAT ?
UNLESS-- HE IS OUR SONFROM THE FUTURE.
BUT WHY ARE YOU BACK IN THISTIME WITH US, SON ?
I HAVE NO IDEA, MAN, I WASJUST ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP
IN AN ALLEY BEHINDTHE CRACK HOUSE.
I HAD SHOT UPA LITTLE HEROIN,
AND THEN THIS ELECTRICALSTORM STARTED.
THE NEXT THING I KNEWI WAS RUNNING AROUNDIN MY OWN PAST, MAN.
I THOUGHT I WASJUST TRIPPING,
BUT THEN I CAME DOWNAND I WAS STILL HERE !
OH DUDE,IT'S SO BIZARRE !
OH DUDE, I SHOULD'VE NEVERTOUCHED THAT MARIJUANA.
STAN, WHATEVER HAS HAPPENED,WE'RE GOING TO HELP YOU.
WE'RE A FAMILY,NO MATTER WHAT TIME SHIFT.
THANKS. COULD I GETANOTHER BEER ?
YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED.
WHY DON'T YOUGET SOME SLEEP ?
THAT'D BE KILLER.
WHERE CAN ICRASH ?
WELL, I'M SURE STAN WOULDN'TMIND SHARING HIS ROOM.
WHAT ?! I HAVE TO SHAREMY ROOM WITH MY FUTURE SELF ?
OH, NO !
Future Stan shows up at the Marsh house.
With the popularity of a new weight loss program, the boys see their opportunity to become sponsored by a major restaurant chain.x CLOSE
When the boys travel to Aspen and hit the slopes for the first time, Stan has a run-in with one of the locals and is challenged to a race.x CLOSE
The boys sign Butters up as a guest on a popular afternoon talk show that features people with weird deformities.x CLOSE
When the boys kidnap baby calves to save them from becoming sweet juicy veal steaks, the police show up and a standoff ensues.x CLOSE
All the kids in South Park are wild with anticipation to see the first trailer for the latest Terrance and Phillip movie.x CLOSE
The boys fire Butters as their friend, unleashing his dark side.x CLOSE
Cartman tries to retrieve his Sea Men from Ms. Choksondik's stomach, while Professor Chaos plans to destroy the world.x CLOSE
Priest Maxi travels to Rome when the Catholic Church scandal begins to impact church attendance in South Park.x CLOSE
The boys take on a cause when they realize that their favorite films are being enhanced, re-released and ruined in the process.x CLOSE
Bebe is the first girl in the fourth grade to "develop," threatening the boys' friendship and society in general.x CLOSE
The parents finally come clean.x CLOSE
Butters and Stan realize that their future selves are actors.x CLOSE
Stan is not satisfied with Cartman's poop-smearing plan.x CLOSE
The boys find a joint in the woods.x CLOSE
Future Stan shows up at the Marsh house.x CLOSE
Future Stan meets the other boys.x CLOSE
Butters introduces Stan to his future self.x CLOSE
Stan and Butters seek revenge on their parents.x CLOSE
Stan has no success confronting his parents about their lies.x CLOSE
Stan's plan to get his parents to tell the truth doesn't work.x CLOSE