ROB SCHNEIDER DERP DA DERP-

DERP DEE DERPDE DERPY DERP !

UNTIL ONE DAY

DERP DA DERPDA DERP DERP !

( record scratch )

DERP DEE DERP-DA TEETLEY TUM !

ROB SCHNEIDER IS

DA DERP DEE DERP DA TEETLEYDERPEE DERPEE DUMB

RATED PG-13 !

HERE, LOOK, KYLE.

I FOUND TONS OF TESTIMONIALSON THE INTERNET

STATING THAT JOHN EDWARDHAS THE ENTIRE STUDIO WIRED

TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE ARETALKING ABOUT BEFORE THE SHOW

AND HE PAYS ACTORS TO BEPLANTS IN THE AUDIENCE !

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS HE'S ABETTER PSYCHIC THAN YOU.

FINE, I GIVE UP !

YOU WANNA STAY IN NEW YORK,THEN GO AHEAD !

SO, YOU THINK YOU CAN TALK TODEAD PEOPLE BETTER ME, HUH ?

NO, I DON'T THINKEITHER ONE OF US CAN.

THEY TOLD ME YOUR SHOWIS GETTING BETTERRATINGS THAN MINE !

THAT YOU'RE SAYINGI'M A FRAUD ON YOUR SHOW !

YOU BETTER NOTEVER CALL ME A LIAR

OR A FAKE OR A DOUCHE AGAIN ORELSE I'LL SUE YOU FOR SLANDER !

I AM SAYING THISTO YOU, JOHN EDWARD.

YOU ARE A LIAR,YOU ARE A FAKE

AND YOU ARE THEBIGGEST DOUCHE EVER.

EVERYTHING I TELL PEOPLE ISPOSITIVE AND GIVES THEM HOPE !

HOW DOES THATMAKE ME A DOUCHE ?

BECAUSE THE BIG QUESTIONSIN LIFE ARE TOUGH.

"WHY ARE WE HERE ?""WHERE ARE FROM ?""WHERE ARE WE GOING ?"

BUT IF PEOPLE BELIEVE INASSHOLE DOUCHIE LIARS LIKE YOU

WE'RE NEVER GOING TO FIND THEREAL ANSWERS TO THOSE QUESTIONS.

YOU AREN'T JUST LYING,

YOU'RE SLOWINGTHE PROGRESS OF ALL MANKIND.

YOU DOUCHE.

I'M NOT A DOUCHE !

AND I CHALLENGE YOUTO A PSYCHIC SHOWDOWN !

I'LL PROVE TO THE WORLD THATI'M PSYCHIC AND YOU'RE NOT !

FINE, DOUCHE !

I'M NOTA DOUCHE !