ARE WE BEATINGTHE JAPANESE ?
BUT WE HAVE A NEW PROBLEM,MR. PRESIDENT.
OUR RECON TEAM ON THE LADDERJUST FOUND NEW EVIDENCE
OF THREATS FROMSADDAM HUSSEIN.
SADDAM HUSSEIN, BUT...WE KILLED HIM.
WE SECRETLY TOOK HIM OUTMONTHS AGO.
YES, SIR,AND NOW WE BELIEVE
THAT HE IS BUILDING WEAPONSOF MASS DESTRUCTION.
DEAR CHRIST, THAT SON OFA BITCH JUST DOESN'T STOP.
THESE SURVEILLANCE PHOTOSWERE TAKEN ATOP THE LADDER
OF WHAT APPEARSTO BE HEAVEN.
HERE WE SEE WHAT WE BELIEVETO BE A MISSILE SILO.
AND HERE WE SEE WHAT LOOKS LIKEA LABORATORY OF SOME SORT
FOR MAKINGCHEMICAL WEAPONS.
THAT KIND OF LOOKSLIKE A SEAGULL.
YES, IT COULD BE A LABORATORYDISGUISED AS A SEAGULL.
THAT TRICKY BASTARD.
SIR, YOU MUSTUNDERSTAND OUR FEARS.
WE MUST TAKE OUTTHOSE FACILITIES.
WE MUST-- BOMB HEAVEN.
SNN QUESTION OF THE DAY:
NOW THAT AMERICANS BELIEVE INHEAVEN, SHOULD WE BOMB IT ?
THE POLLS RIGHT NOW SHOWTHAT 51% OF AMERICANS
THINK SADDAM HAS TOBE DEALT WITH,
WHILE 49% ARE WIMPY,TREE-HUGGING PUSSIES.
WAR'S NOT MY VOICE !
THIS COUNTRY'S JUST RUN BYREDNECKS AND BUMPKINSWITH THEIR GUNS !
WE HAVE TO TAKE SADDAM OUTTO PROTECT OURSELVES !
I FOR ONE BELIEVE THAT IF SADDAMHUSSEIN WERE AN 8-YEAR-OLD BOY
AND MY PENIS WERETHE UNITED STATES,
THEN THERE WOULD--
HARD NIPPLES !
WMD in Heaven
Now that more Americans believe in heaven, they feel that we should bomb it.
News 4 does a story about the boys' ladder to heaven.x CLOSE
The ladder breaks through the clouds, but Heaven is still nowhere in sight.x CLOSE
Cartman reveals that he drank Kenny's ashes and realizes that they are the cause of his hallucinations.x CLOSE
The boys realize that Kenny, who died, had the ticket stub they need to claim a five-minute candy shopping spree.x CLOSE
The boys go to Kenny's house to try and find the ticket stub.x CLOSE
Not realizing that the powder in the urn is Kenny's ashes, Cartman mixes them into "chocolate" milk.x CLOSE
The adults stand around weeping while the boys begin their ladder to heaven.x CLOSE
Japan reveals it is building it's own ladder to heaven, quicker and more efficiently.x CLOSE
The military arrives to help build the ladder to heaven.x CLOSE
Now that more Americans believe in heaven, they feel that we should bomb it.x CLOSE