WHY DID I EVER DO THOSESTUPID COMMERCIALS ?
ALL RIGHT, JARED,YOU SICK PERVERT,
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAYBEFORE YOU DIE ?
YOU'RE ALL MAKINGA MISTAKE !
STAY BACK, CHILDREN.
JARED WANTS TOGIVE YOU AIDS.
NO, YOU DON'TUNDERSTAND.
JARED DOESN'THAVE AIDS-AIDS,
HE HAS ASSISTANTS--
TWO GUYS THAT HELP HIM LOSEWEIGHT THAT HE CALLS HIS AIDES.
YOU MEAN, JARED'S AIDESARE LIKE MY AIDES ?
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALYOU ALL THOUGHT--
OH MY GOSH !
OH BOY,DO I FEEL STUPID.
WE'RE SO SORRY, JARED.
NO, NO,IT WAS MY FAULT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I, I DIDN'TEVEN THINK WHAT I WAS SAYING.
SO HE WAS SAYING
CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE HELPLIKE HE HAD.
THIS HAS GOTTA BE ABOUT THEBIGGEST MISUNDERSTANDING EVER !
( laughing )
OH MY GOD.
I TOLD MY GIRLFRIEND I WANTEDHER TO SHARE MY AIDES.
OH, NO WONDER SHE LEFT.
CAN YOU IMAGINE...WHAT WE THOUGHT WHEN YOU SAID
"AIDES FOR EVERYONEFOUNDATION" ?
OH, BROTHER !
WE'RE ALL LAUGHING.
OH HEY, YEAH, WE WOULD'VE NEVERLAUGHED ABOUT THIS BEFORE.
WELL, DON'T YOU SEEWHAT THIS MEANS ?
IT'S BEEN 22.3 YEARS, SO...AIDS IS FINALLY FUNNY.
HE'S RIGHT,IT'S HAPPENED.
HEY, EVERYBODY !AIDS IS FINALLY FUNNY.
ALL RIGHT !
WOO HOO, HOORAY !
I KNEW IT WOULD BEFUNNY ONE DAY.
THEN IT'S TIME.
WE CAN UNDO THE BANNER.
OOH ! OHH !
TOM, I'M STANDINGIN THE TOWN SQUARE
WHERE JUST MOMENTS AGO
IT WAS DECLARED THAT AIDSCAN FINALLY BE JOKED ABOUT.
WHAT A GREAT DAYFOR HUMANITY.
OH BOY,THIS FANTASTIC.
I'M SO GLAD AIDSIS FUNNY NOW.
OKAY, SO NOW, YOU WANNA USE OURFRIEND IN YOUR COMMERCIALS ?
SURE, OKAY, I PAY YOU15 "DORRAR".
15 DORRAR ?BUT JARED GOT MILLIONS.
HEY, I'M NOT SUBWAY,I CHITTY WOK.
CHITTY WOK DON'T HAVEMILLION DOLLARS.
OH, GOD DAMN IT !
OH, JUST FORGETTHE WHOLE THING THEN.
HEY, YOU KIDS KNOW WHYCHICKEN CROSS ROAD ?
'CAUSE IT HAD AIDS.
( laughs )AIDS SO FUNNY.
WELL, SO MUCHFOR OUR MONEY.
YEAH, BUT Y'KNOW,I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.
IT WOULD'VE BEEN WRONG FOR USTO EXPLOIT BUTTERS' WEIGHT LOSS,
BECAUSE THEN LOTS OF FAT PEOPLEWOULD'VE BELIEVED IT,
AND THEN GONE AND EATENA TON OF CHINESE FOOD
INSTEAD OFDIETING PROPERLY.
THEY'D STILL BE FAT,
AND WE'D BE RESPONIBLE FORTHEIR SHATTERED DREAMS.
YEAH, I DON'T THINK LIKESHATTERING FAT PEOPLES' DREAMS.
BESIDES, I'D GET GROUNDED.
OH JESUS, I'M SUPPOSEDTO BE GROUNDED !
The town realizes there's been a big misunderstanding.
With the popularity of a new weight loss program, the boys see their opportunity to become sponsored by a major restaurant chain.x CLOSE
When the boys travel to Aspen and hit the slopes for the first time, Stan has a run-in with one of the locals and is challenged to a race.x CLOSE
The boys sign Butters up as a guest on a popular afternoon talk show that features people with weird deformities.x CLOSE
When the boys kidnap baby calves to save them from becoming sweet juicy veal steaks, the police show up and a standoff ensues.x CLOSE
All the kids in South Park are wild with anticipation to see the first trailer for the latest Terrance and Phillip movie.x CLOSE
The boys fire Butters as their friend, unleashing his dark side.x CLOSE
Cartman tries to retrieve his Sea Men from Ms. Choksondik's stomach, while Professor Chaos plans to destroy the world.x CLOSE
Priest Maxi travels to Rome when the Catholic Church scandal begins to impact church attendance in South Park.x CLOSE
The boys take on a cause when they realize that their favorite films are being enhanced, re-released and ruined in the process.x CLOSE
Bebe is the first girl in the fourth grade to "develop," threatening the boys' friendship and society in general.x CLOSE
Jared had a little extra help losing all the weight.x CLOSE
The boys perform liposuction surgery on Butters.x CLOSE
Cartman pretends to be Butters.x CLOSE
The boys go to see Jared, the Subway guy.x CLOSE
The boys nominate Butters to gain weight so he can lose it again by eating City Wok.x CLOSE
Jared tells his fianc e about his aides.x CLOSE
Butters eats until he vomits, and then eats that.x CLOSE
Jared tells the whole town that he has aides.x CLOSE
The City Wok guy agrees to the boys' deal.x CLOSE
Jared is fired for admitting he has aides.x CLOSE