TOM, I'M STANDING IN FRONT OFTHE MAYOR'S OFFICE

WHERE THE BIG LIAR, JARED ISONCE AGAIN ABOUT TO SPEAK.

APPARENTLY, JARED HOPES TOREGAIN HIS CELEBRITY HERO STATUS

WHICH WAS LOST WHEN HEANNOUNCED THAT IT WAS AIDS,

NOT SUB SANDWICHES, THATCAUSED HIM TO LOSE WEIGHT.

LET'S LISTEN IN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,AT FIRST I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND

WHY YOU FELT BETRAYEDBY THE FACT

THAT MY AIDES HELPED METO LOSE WEIGHT.

BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND THATIT'S BECAUSE ISN'T FAIR

THAT I HAD AIDESAND MOST OF YOU DON'T.

AND SO, WITH ALL THE MONEYI MADE FROM COMMERCIALS

I'VE DECIDED TO START

THE "AIDES FOR EVERYONEFOUNDATION".

WHAT ?!

I AM GOING TOPERSONALLY SEE TO IT

THAT EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU GETS AIDES.

THIS GUY'S INSANE.

BUT I WON'T STOP THERE.

I'M GONNA SEEK OUTALL THE UNDERPRIVILEGED

AND HUNGRY CHILDRENOF THE WORLD,

AND I'M GOING TOGIVE THEM AIDES MYSELF !

YOU'RE GONNA GIVECHILDREN AIDS ?

YES, IT IS MY HOPE THAT EVERYBEAUTIFUL CHILD ON THIS EARTH

HAS AIDES BY NEXT MONTH.

AIDES FOR EVERYONE !

GET HIM !

( angry yelling )

( doorbell )