WHAT IS GOING ON NOW ?
HA HA, TEACHER, WE'RE TRAVELINGBACK IN TIME TO THIRD GRADE.
GODAMMIT, YOU GUYS,YOU SERIOUSLY SAID THIS TIME
YOU'D STAND UPAND DO IT WITH ME.
OH, GOOD GRAVY,NOT THIS AGAIN.
YES, WE HADA NEW TIME MACHINE BUILT,
THIS ONE OUT OF A SIMPLEMICROWAVE OVEN AND A DUCK.( quacks )
AU REVOIR, TEACHER,PERHAPS WE SHALL SEE YOUIN THE PAST, HA HA.
CHILDREN, I WILLHAVE ORDER !
I CAN'T WAIT FOR GENERODDENBERRY TO TELL YOUHOW WRONG YOU ARE.
JUST LIKE WHEN YOU SAIDTHERE WERE NO TWO-PARTERSOF "BATTLESTAR GALACTICA".
THERE WEREN'T !
THE EPISODE CALLED"GUYS ON ICE PLANET ZERO"WAS A TWO-PARTER !
NO, IT WASN'T !!
OH, SON OFA BITCH.
I'LL KILL YOU !
THERE IT IS,COME ON EVERYBODY.
CHILDREN, GET BACKINTO YOUR SEATS.
NO WAY, LADY.
ERIC, I MEAN IT.
YOU CAN SUCK MY BALLS.
YOU SAID,"SUCK MY BALLS".
WELL, GO AHEAD, WHIP 'EM OUTAND I'LL SUCK 'EM.
THA-- THAT'S WHATMR. GARRISON WOULD'VE SAID.
TOUCHé, TEACHER, TOUCHé.
NOW, CHILDREN,LISTEN TO ME.
WHY DO YOU WANT TOGO BACK IN TIME ?
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT GOING BACK,IT'S ABOUT GOING FORWARD.
YES, THERE ARE TIMES IN OUR LIFETHAT WE WISH WE COULD RELIVE,
BUT IF WE ALREADY LIVED THEMPERFECTLY, WHY LIVE THEM AGAIN ?
THE ADVENTURE OF LIFE IS THATTHERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW--
NEW CHALLENGES,NEW EXPERIENCES.
A FUN GAME IS A GAME THATGETS HARDER AS IT GOES.
SO IT IS WITH LIFE.DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?
DUDE... SHE'S RIGHT.
YEAH, AND YOU KNOW,
NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT,THIRD GRADE WASN'T ALL THATGREAT EITHER.
YEAH, THIRD GRADESUCKED !
CARTMAN, WHY THE HELL DID YOUTRY TO MAKE US THINKTHIRD GRADE WAS SO GREAT ?
YEAH, YOU SUCK,CARTMAN.
ALL RIGHT, STUDENTS,THAT WILL BE QUITE ENOUGH.
IF YOU'RE READY,
LET'S CONTINUE ONWITH THE FOURTH GRADE.
HEY, TIMMY'S BACK.
( Stan )DUDE, IT LOOKS LIKEHE'S BEEN ALL OVER TIME.
HE MUST HAVE SUCHCOOL STUFF TO TELL US.
YOU KNOW I'M ALWAYS HERETO HELP, PRINCIPAL VICTORIA.
HEY, GUESS WHAT, EVERYBODY,I'M GAY !
MR. GARRISON ?WHAT ?
I'M AS GAY AS A GYMNASTON SHORE LEAVE !
YOU ADMIT IT ?YOU ADMIT IT !
OH, THAT'S GREAT,MR. GARRISON,
YOU'VE FINALLY COME TOTERMS WITH YOURSELF.
YEAH, IT FEELSREALLY GOOD.
YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKEI CAN START ANEW.
IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU,I WILL LIKE TO GO BACK
TO TEACHINGTHE THIRD GRADE !
OH, I'M SORRY, WE DON'THIRE GAY PEOPLE.
( laughing )
I Pooped My Pants
Cartman and the Trapper Keeper are successfully defeated.
The boys start stealing teeth from less fortunate children and selling them to the Tooth Fairy at a premium.x CLOSE
The girls of South Park Elementary challenge the boys to a sledding race and Cartman gets sentenced to Juvenile Hall for 13 years.x CLOSE
Timmy is excused from class when he is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.x CLOSE
A family of quintuplets takes up residence in South Park and a media circus surrounds their every move.x CLOSE
Cartman goes online to find older friends when he decides that Stan, Kenny and Kyle are too immature to be his friends.x CLOSE
Kyle needs a kidney transplant and Cartman is discovered to be the perfect donor. Cartman offers his kidney to Kyle -- for the price of 10 million dollars.x CLOSE
Chef's passionate protest against the South Park flag enflames the entire town, including the children.x CLOSE
The boys form their own boy band, and everyone in town is lining up to audition for a spot as the fifth band member.x CLOSE
Priest Maxi's threats of eternal damnation have the boys racing to make their first Confession and Holy Communion.x CLOSE
Satan is torn between two lovers as he tries to choose between his new boyfriend and his ex, Saddam Hussein.x CLOSE
Mr. Garrison gets acquainted with his new Kindergarten class.x CLOSE
The new kid pays Cartman 100 bucks to be his friend and steals his Trapper Keeper.x CLOSE
Cartman's Trapper Keeper is potentially destructive to all mankind.x CLOSE
Cartman and the Trapper Keeper are successfully defeated.x CLOSE
Cartman's Trapper Keeper is cooler than Kyle's.x CLOSE
The class president elections are postponed until the absent kid returns.x CLOSE
Cartman can't face the fact that he must live without a Trapper Keeper.x CLOSE
Rosie O'Donnell is on her way to sort out Kindergarten elections.x CLOSE
Kenny gets killed by the Trapper Keeper.x CLOSE
Rosie's gonna fix this election--her way.x CLOSE