HANG UP THE LIGHTS,STRING UP UP THE BANNERS,
CASTRATE THE COWS !
WELL MR. GARRISON,
HOW IS THELITTLE PLAY GOING ?
WE WERE JUST ABOUTTO RUN IT FROM THE TOP.
OH, PLEASE DO.
I'MDYINGTO SEE IT.
ALL THE LITTLE PIONEERSON THIS SIDE OF THE STAGE.
AND ALL THE LITTLE INDIANSGO TO THE CENTER OF THE STAGE.
AM I AN INDIANOR A PIONEER ?
DO YOU HAVE A FEATHERON YOUR HEAD ?
THEN YOU'REAN INDIAN.
OKAY, BABAY,THIS IS YOUR LINE.
THIS IS THE STORYOF SOUTH PARK.
IT BEGINS OVERA HUNDRED YEARS AGO
WHEN THE NOBLE AND HEARTYUTE INDIANS
LIVED ON THE LAND.
OH, DON'T THEYLOOK ADORABLE ?
THEN FROM THE EAST
CAME THE GREATWHITE PIONEERS.
( screaming )
OH, MY GOD !
THEY DID IT A LOT BETTERTHIS MORNING.
THEY HADMORE ENERGY.
THE PIONEERS METWITH THE INDIANS
AND NEGOTIATEDFOR THEIR FERTILE LANDS.
WE CANNOT HAVE OUR CHILDRENBEATING EACH OTHER SENSELESS
IN FRONT OFKATHIE LEE GIFFORD !
WELL WHATDO YOU WANT ?
THIS IS HOW IT HAPPENEDIN THOSE DAYS.
TAKE THAT,YOU STUPID INDIAN !
MR. GARRISON,THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE !
DO YOUACTUALLY THINK
THAT KATHIE LEE GIFFORDWOULD ENJOY THIS ?!
TO HELL WITHKATHIE LEE GIFFORD !
( crowd gasping )
OH, MY GOD,WHAT HAVE I SAID ?
HE SAID "TO HELL WITHKATHIE LEE GIFFORD" !
I AM DISMISSING YOUFROM DIRECTING OUR PLAY.
Garrison is Dismissed
The class play is too violent to showcase to Kathie Lee.
After discussing rainbows, Cartman learns he has won an essay contest.x CLOSE
Mr. Garrison shoots Kenny, Kathie Lee departs, and Wendy reveals the truth about Cartman's essay.x CLOSE
Chef sings a song of love, and lust, to Kathie Lee.x CLOSE
The Mayor talks to her aides about Kathie Lee's arrival.x CLOSE
Chef tells the boys about his plans for an encounter with Kathie Lee.x CLOSE
Mr. Garrison remembers losing a talent show to Kathie Lee.x CLOSE
The Mayor announces that the class will put on a play for Kathie Lee.x CLOSE
Cartman and Stan fight about Cartman's essay contest victory.x CLOSE
Cartman sees the Weight Gain 4000 commercial and sends his mom to buy some.x CLOSE
Cartman brags about the four pounds he has gained overnight from eating Weight Gain 4000.x CLOSE