- RELAX, TWEEK.
I AM NOT HERETO HURT YOU.
I AM THE GHOSTOF HUMAN KINDNESS.
- THE GHOSTOF HUMAN KINDNESS?
- YOU HAVE NEVER SEENTHE LIKES OF ME BEFORE.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- YOU HAVE LOST FAITHIN HUMANITY, LAD,
SOMETHING I CANNOT BEARTO SEE HAPPEN.
- HOW CAN I HELP IT?
IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYWHERE I TURN,SOMEBODY IS OUT TO GET ME!
- THAT IS THE WORLDTHAT THE NEWS REPORTS.
IT IS THE WORLD THAT ADULTSPREOCCUPY THEMSELVES WITH.
BUT IT IS NOT THE WORLDAS IT IS.
- IT ISN'T?
- LOOK HERE, TWEEK.
THIS WOMAN IS ON HER WAYTO THE RETIREMENT HOME.
SHE DOESN'T GET PAID.
SHE VOLUNTEERS HER TIME TO TALKWITH LONELY, ELDERLY PEOPLE
WHO WANT NOTHING MORETHAN A FRIEND.
BUT DO YOU HEARABOUT HER ON THE NEWS?
NOW GAZE UPONTHIS HUMBLE HOUSE, TWEEK.
INSIDE, THERE ARE TWO PEOPLEWHO HAVE ADOPTED NEEDY CHILDREN.
THEY WERE STRANGERSTO THOSE KIDS ONCE.
NOW THEY ARE LOVING PARENTS.
NOW LOOK HERE, BOY.
A CAR HAS BROKEN DOWNWITH A FLAT TIRE,
AND TWO COMPLETE STRANGERSHAVE STOPPED TO HELP.
WILL THEIR KINDNESS BE REPORTEDON THE NEWS TOMORROW?
I THINK NOT.
ARE YOU STARTINGTO UNDERSTAND, BOY?
- I THINK SO.
YOU MEAN THATEVEN THOUGH ALL THE NEWS
IS ABOUT MURDERERSAND ABDUCTORS,
THOSE KIND OF PEOPLEONLY MAKE UP
A VERY SMALL PARTOF THE WORLD.
- THAT'S RIGHT, LAD.
SO DO YOU THINK YOU CAN LEARNTO TRUST PEOPLE NOW?
- I'LL TRY.
THEN WHY DON'T YOU GETINTO THE BACK OF MY VAN,
AND I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME.
- YOUR VAN?
- ALL RIGHT, JOHNSON,GIVE IT UP!
- DAMN! DAMN!DAMN! DAMN!
OH, I WAS SO CLOSE.
- WHAT THE HELLIS GOING ON?
- TWEEK, TWEEK,ARE YOU OKAY?
- DID HE HURT YOU, SON?- NO!
- THEN WE AREN'TTOO LATE.
HIS NAME ISFREDERICK JOHNSON.
HE'S BEEN ABDUCTING CHILDRENBY DRESSING UP
LIKE THE GHOST OF HUMAN KINDNESSFOR OVER A YEAR NOW.
- AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTENAWAY WITH IT AGAIN
IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUMEDDLING POLICEMEN!
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- A STRANGER WAS CAUGHTTRYING TO ABDUCT THE TWEEK BOY.
- AN ABDUCTOR,IN OUR TOWN?
- OH, MY GOD,WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
The Ghost of Human Kindness
Tweek almost gets kidnapped by a man dressed as the Ghost of Human Kindness.
With the popularity of a new weight loss program, the boys see their opportunity to become sponsored by a major restaurant chain.x CLOSE
When the boys travel to Aspen and hit the slopes for the first time, Stan has a run-in with one of the locals and is challenged to a race.x CLOSE
The boys sign Butters up as a guest on a popular afternoon talk show that features people with weird deformities.x CLOSE
When the boys kidnap baby calves to save them from becoming sweet juicy veal steaks, the police show up and a standoff ensues.x CLOSE
All the kids in South Park are wild with anticipation to see the first trailer for the latest Terrance and Phillip movie.x CLOSE
The boys fire Butters as their friend, unleashing his dark side.x CLOSE
Cartman tries to retrieve his Sea Men from Ms. Choksondik's stomach, while Professor Chaos plans to destroy the world.x CLOSE
Priest Maxi travels to Rome when the Catholic Church scandal begins to impact church attendance in South Park.x CLOSE
The boys take on a cause when they realize that their favorite films are being enhanced, re-released and ruined in the process.x CLOSE
Bebe is the first girl in the fourth grade to "develop," threatening the boys' friendship and society in general.x CLOSE
Tweek almost gets kidnapped by a man dressed as the Ghost of Human Kindness.x CLOSE
The children are sent away so their parents can't abduct them.x CLOSE
The parents rabble on about their children becoming Mongolians and take them home.x CLOSE
Tweek freaks out over news reports.x CLOSE
Tweek's dad teaches him a lesson about trusting strangers.x CLOSE
Tweek is freaked out about getting abducted.x CLOSE
The townspeople want a giant wall built around the city to keep out abductors.x CLOSE
Tuong Lu Kim builds a giant wall around South Park.x CLOSE
The boys have to wear Child Tracker helmets on their head for safety.x CLOSE
Friends and neighbors can no longer be trusted with children in South Park.x CLOSE