OUR SON HAS BEENRETURNED TO US.
( cheers & applause )
( man )ALL RIGHT !
BUTTERS WAS MISSING ?
BUT, THAT ISN'T ALLWE HAVE TO SAY.
YOU SEE, WE LEARNED A VERYIMPORTANT LESSON TONIGHT.
AND IT TOOK THE SMARTS OFOUR YOUNG SON TO SHOW US.
WE'VE LEARNED THATDECEPTION IS WRONG.
AND THAT THE ONLY THING TOEVER MAKE IT RIGHT AGAIN
IS TO COME CLEAN.
YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN DECEIVINGMY WIFE FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.
I WAS GOING TO GAYMOVIE AND BATH HOUSES
AND HAVING SEX WITH RANDOM MENWHO WERE COMPLETE STRANGERS.
YEA--WAIT, WHAT ?
HA HO !
AND WHEN I FOUND OUTI WENT CRAZY.
I WENT CRAZY AND I DROVE MY SONINTO THE LAKE TO KILL HIM.
UH, K-KILL ME ?JESUS CHRIST !
SO YOU SEE, THERE WAS NOSOME PUERTO RICAN GUY.
HE DOESN'T EXIST.
AND SO THE PEOPLE WE OWETHE BIGGEST APOLOGY TO
ARE THE RAMSEYS, CONGRESSMANCONDIT AND O.J.
WE GAVE YOU FALSE HOPE
FOR FINDING THE PERSON WHOHURT THOSE CLOSE TO YOU
AND WE'RE SORRY.
NOW WE'RE JUST HAPPY WE WON'THAVE TO LIVE A LIFE OF SECRETS.
FOR I KNEW THAT EVEN THOUGHSOME OF YOU SUPPORTED US
SOME OTHERS WERE LOOKINGAT ME AND THINKING,
"YOU'RE A LIAR !YOU'RE A LIAR !
"YOU KNOW SOMETHING THATYOU'RE NOT TELLING US,
YOU SLIMY SCUMBAG, LIAR !"
Y'KNOW, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLEWOULD SAY TO ME.
AND THEN WOULD SEE MY WIFEIN THE SUPERMARKET.
AND THEY WOULD SAY, "HELLO,"BUT THEY'D BE THINKING,
"AH, THERE GOESTHAT... MURDERER !
"YOU GOT AWAY WITH MURDER,
YOU MURDERING, LYINGWASTE OF LIFE !"
AND TO ME, PEOPLE MIGHTSAY THINGS LIKE,
TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW,YOU GOD DAMN LIAR !"
AND SO TO BOTH OF US
PEOPLE ALL OVER TO TOWNWOULD BE SAYING THINGS LIKE,
"YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELLWHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR KID
"SO STOP ACTINGLIKE VICTIMS
"AND CONFESS, YOUMURDERING MURDERERS !
CONFESS, LIAR, CONFESS !"
Y'KNOW, AND THAT'S WHAT PEOPLEWOULD BE SAYING TO US.
AND SO WE JUST HAD TO COMEFORWARD AND TELL THE TRUTH.
WE'RE SORRYWE LIED TO YOU ALL.
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
AND NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US
THIS FAMILY HAS TOGET TO BENNIGAN'S.
( man )ALL RIGHT !
YOUR DAD'S A PERV ANDYOUR MOM TRIED TO KILL YOU.
BOY, YOU FELLAS SURE ARE GONNARIP ON ME IN SCHOOL NOW.
WE SURE ARE.
I REALLY WISH I DIDN'TKNOW THAT STUFF.
I GUESS I LEARNED THAT SOMETIMESLYING CAN BE FOR THE BEST.
OH WELL, WHEN I HAVEA CHIPOTLE BLUE CHEESE
BACON BURGERAT BENNIGAN'S
I'LL FORGET ALL ABOUTMY DAD BEING QUEER
AND MY MOM TRYINGTO KILL ME.
I'M GONNA BE OKAY.
REALLY ?NO, I'M LYING.
LET'S GO, SON.
COMING, DAD !
♪ EVERYONE KNOWSIT'S BUTTERS ♪
THAT'S ME !
Murdering Murderers Confess
The Stotches come clean about their horrible secrets and lies.
The word "s**t" is broadcast on television for the first time, triggering a chain of events that threaten the world as we know it.x CLOSE
The boys' new troop leader is Big Gay Al, and Timmy is excited until Jimmy, the new "handicapped" kid, steals his spotlight.x CLOSE
A magician performs in South Park, convincing Kenny, Cartman and Kyle to join his cult-like following, leaving Stan & Jesus to save them.x CLOSE
Cartman seeks vengeance on an eighth grader after buying the kid's pubes fails to impress the other boys. Radiohead guest stars.x CLOSE
When the boys discover their idols, Terrance and Phillip, have called it quits, they'll go to any length to reunite the duo.x CLOSE
Cartman inherits one million dollars.x CLOSE
The boys take Sex Ed and learn the mysteries of the body from none other than Mr. Mackey.x CLOSE
There's a new character in South Park and the boys take up his cause against conniving corporate leaders and the evil U.S. government.x CLOSE
When the boys receive a package from the children of Afghanistan, every government agency descends upon the town to investigate.x CLOSE
The funniest thing Cartman's ever seen comes to town. Realizing he'll never see anything funnier, he loses his sense of humor.x CLOSE
Butters' dad chats with him about lies.x CLOSE
Butters' mom threatens to kill herself.x CLOSE
The Stotches come clean about their horrible secrets and lies.x CLOSE
It's the Butters Show! He's even got his very own theme song.x CLOSE
Butters reports on his father's gay night out.x CLOSE
Butters' mom goes mad and paints the house three times.x CLOSE
Butters' dad is caught with his wiener out.x CLOSE
Butters' mom takes him for a drive in the lake.x CLOSE
Butters' mom describes the Puerto Rican guy that took her son.x CLOSE
Butters loves Bennigan's; the trucker hates Butters.x CLOSE