I'M STANDING IN THE BUSINESSDISTRICT OF CENTRAL CHICAGO,
WHERE OPRAH'S VAGINAHAS KILLED A POLICE OFFICER
AND TAKEN SEVERALPEOPLE HOSTAGE.
IT IS YET UNCONFIRMED,BUT BELIEVED THAT
OPRAH'S ASSHOLE MAY BE ANACCOMPLICE IN THIS AS WELL.
WE GOT THE WALKIE-TALKIE YOU ASKED FOR.
( Minge )PUT IT UNDERNEATH ME.
SLOWLY, MATE, SLOWLY !
NOW BACK OFF !
ALRIGHT, GARY, SQUEEZETHE WALKIE BUTTON.
THIS IS OPRAH'S MINGE.
HELLO, I'MLIEUTENANT NELSON.
WHAT AREYOUR DEMANDS ?
I WANT A CHOPPER ANDA JET WAITING AT THE AIRPORT
TO TAKE US TO FRANCE.
PLUS, WE NEED SOMEFRESH KNICKERS, RIGHT AWAY.
ALRIGHT, HOW ABOUT FRESHUNDERWEAR FOR ONE HOSTAGE.
I'M NOT PLAYINGGAMES WIF YOU, MATE !
GARY'S DROWNIN'IN HIS OWN SICK !
ALRIGHT, WE'LL WORK ON IT,DON'T DO ANYTHING FOOLISH.
WE DON'T HAVE ANY TIME,
THIS IS THE MOST UNSTABLE VAGINAI'VE EVER TALKED TO.
O'REILY...YOU GOT A SHOT ?
I GOT IT.
NOT WITH THOSEHOSTAGES SO CLOSE !
IT'S TOO RISKY !
JUST PUT DOWNTHE GUN, MINGE-Y.
MAYBE THEY'LLGO EASY ON US.
DON'T BE STUPID, GARY !
I'VE KILLEDA POLICEMAN.
THEY'LL FRY ME...
AND LOCK YOU UPFOR LIFE.
OH MINGE-Y,I'M SO SCARED.
WE'RE GONNA GETOUT OF HERE, MATE.
JUST LEAVE IT TO ME.
OPRAH'S VAGINA -THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.
PUT DOWN THE GUN.
IF THAT CHOPPER ISN'T HEREIN TWO MINUTES
I'M KILLING A HOSTAGE !
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE...
I MEAN IT, HOSTAGESARE GONNA START DYIN'
IF YOU DON'T LISTEN !
HOSTAGES ARE CLEAR !
ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT,TAKE IT OUT.
WHAT THE ?HA HA--
YOU MISSED MEYOU STUPID BUGGERS !
YOU SEE THAT, GARYTHEY CAN'T EVEN AIM !
MIN... MINGE-Y... ?
GARY, WHAT'S WRONG ?
THEY GOT ME MINGE-Y.
NO... OH NO !
OOH, THEYGOT ME BAD...
OH THE BLOOD !
TRY TO HANG ON, GAR' !
IT'S GETTIN'DARK MINGE !
OH GARY, WHAT HAVEI GOTTEN YOU INTO ?
I'M SEEING ME LIFEFLASH BEFORE ME EYES....
I'M HERE, GARY !
WHERE... WHEREARE WE MINGE-Y ?
ARE WE IN PARIS... ?
YEAH.... YEAH,WE'RE IN PARIS, MATE.
IS IT AS WONDERFULAS I HOPED ?
IT'S BEAUTIFUL,WE FINALLY MADE IT.
TELL ME WHATYOU SEE MINGE-Y...
WELL THERE'S THE...
EIFFEL TOWERRIGHT IN FRONT OF US...
THE LOUVRERIGHT OVER THERE,BEHIND YOU.
AND FRESH BAGUETTESALL AROUND...
AAAH... I CANSMELL 'EM MINGE-Y.
AT LEAST I GOT TOSEE PARIS BEFORE I...
GARY, SAY SOMEFIN' !
( fart )
YOU KILLED HIMYOU BASTARDS !
HE DIDN'T EVEN WANTANY PART IN THIS !
THIS ALL YOUR FAULTYOU STUPID COW !
YOU NEVER EVEN GAVE YOUROL' GARY THE TIME A DAY
AND NOW HE'S GONE.
LIFE AIN'T WORTHLIVING ANYMORE.
WHAT'S THE USE ?
I'M COMING TOSEE YOU, GARY !
I'M COMINGTO SEE YA' !
NO, DON'T !
( gunshot )
OPRAH'S GOING TOBE OKAY.
WISH I COULD SAY THE SAMEFOR HER VAGINA AND ASSHOLE.
THAT'S A GREAT IDEAYOU HAD
TO SNEAK THE HOSTAGESINSIDE THE BANK.
YEAH, IT SURE WAS.
WE'RE SORRY WE TRIED TOBURN YOU AND MURDER YOU BEFORE.
OH, THAT'S OKAY.
THIS WHOLE THINGWAS MY FAULT.
I LEARNED THATI SHOULDN'T GET HIGH
TO COME UP WITH IDEAS.
I SHOULD COME UPWITH IDEAS
AND THEN GET HIGHTO REWARD MYSELF.
YOU SAID IT !
Towelie the Hero
Towelie saves the hostages, allowing the police to shoot and kill Oprah Winfrey's asshole.
One of South Park's most beloved characters makes a triumphant return to the show.x CLOSE
Stan persuades all the citizens of South Park to buy hybrid cars.x CLOSE
Cartman and Kyle are at war over the popular cartoon "Family Guy."x CLOSE
After leaving Kyle injured on the side of the road, Cartman races to the headquarters of "Family Guy" determined to put an end to the show once and for all.x CLOSE
Towelie writes his memoirs and the published work is chosen to be part of Oprah's Book Club.x CLOSE
The boys are trapped in a cave and Cartman finds treasure.x CLOSE
When Cartman's mom realizes she can't control her son anymore, she gets help from the "Dog Whisperer." But Eric Cartman's not going down without a fight.x CLOSE
The boys must find a way to stop a mad gamer who is destroying World of Warcraft, their favorite online role playing game.x CLOSE
The world's biggest conspiracy of all time will finally be uncovered when Eric Cartman exposes the true culprit behind the September 11th attacks.x CLOSE
In his new role as School Hallway Monitor, Cartman must team up with Kyle when they discover a teacher having sex with a student.x CLOSE
Towelie's memoir is published once he pretends he's a person, not a towel. He goes on "Oprah."x CLOSE
Oprah turns her audience into a lynch mob and chases Towelie off the set.x CLOSE
Towelie saves the hostages, allowing the police to shoot and kill Oprah Winfrey's asshole.x CLOSE
Towelie gets fired, gets high, and decides to write his memoir.x CLOSE
Towelie gets rejected, gets high, and decides to edit his memoir so he seems to be a person.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole decide to try to expose Towelie as a fraud.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole call Geraldo to tip him off about Towelie's identity.x CLOSE
Geraldo accuses Towelie of being a towel on "Larry King Live."x CLOSE
Oprah calls Towelie and invites him back on the show to defend himself.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge holds her audience hostage.x CLOSE