WHO'S MEMOIRS MANYOF YOU PURCHASED
AFTER I MADE IT MYBOOK OF THE MONTH SELECTION !
YOU HEAR THAT, GARY ?NOBODY'S APPLAUDIN' !
YEAH, THEY'RE ALLRIGHT PISSED OFF !
THIS IS GREAT !
NOW IT TURNS OUT THAT YOUR NAMEISN'T REALLY STEPHEN,
IT'S TOWELIE, CORRECT ?
AND YOU ARE A TOWEL.
YES, I'M A PRETTYMUCH A TOWEL, OPRAH.
CAN YOU EXPLAINTO THE AUDIENCE
WHY YOU SAID YOUWEREN'T A TOWEL BEFORE ?
WELL, OPRAH,I WAS ALL LIKE...
UM... THEY'RE ALL LIKE...
WAS IT THAT YOU THOUGHTEMBELLISHING THE STORY
WAS OKAY IFIT HELPED PEOPLE ?
YEAH, YEAH THAT'S IT.
WELL YOU KNOW WHATI THINK, TOWELIE ?
I THINK YOU'RE ALYING SACK OF S--- !
YOU LIED TO ALL OFTHESE PEOPLE AND FOR WHAT ?
TO MAKE MONEY !
THEY BOUGHT YOUR BOOKTHINKING IT WAS TRUE !
THAT'S RIGHT !YEAH !
BUT I THOUGHTYOU SAID--
HOW DARE YOU LIE TO MEAND MAKE ME LOOK FOOLISH !
WHAT'S THIS ?WHAT'S SHE DOIN'? !
I DON'TUNDERSTAND MINGE-Y !
YOU THINK WRITINGIS A JOKE YOUSTUPID TOWEL !
YEAH !YOU GET HIM, OPRAH !YEAH !!
YOU WILL NOTGET AWAY WITH THIS.
SHE'S GETTING EVERYONEBACK ON HER SIDE !
OH, THE CLEVER COW !
YOU LIEDTO ME, TOWELIE,
AND THEREFORE, YOU HAVELIED TO AMERICA.
WE ARE GOING TORISE UP AGAINST YOU !
YEAH !YEAH !YEAH !
IS THIS AUDIENCE READY FOR AGOOD OLD FASHIONED LYNCHING ?
YEAH !YEAH !YEAH !
AUDIENCE, IF YOULOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS
YOU'LL FIND YOURVERY OWN TORCHES !
OOOH !OOOH !AHHH !
MINGE, DOES THIS MEANI HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE PARIS ?
THERE'S NOT GOING TOBE ANY PARIS,
DON'T YOU GET IT, GARY ?
THE FAT COW GOT EVERYONEON HER SIDE AGAIN !
SHE'LL BE WORKINGMORE THAN EVER NOW !
OUR PLAN IS RUINED !NO !
WE'LL GIVE YOUA 5-SECOND HEADSTART !
ONE, TWO !
LET'S GET HIM !
BURN HIM!BURN THE TOWEL !
BURN THAT WHICHLIES TO OPRAH !
Oprah Turns on Towelie
Oprah turns her audience into a lynch mob and chases Towelie off the set.
One of South Park's most beloved characters makes a triumphant return to the show.x CLOSE
Stan persuades all the citizens of South Park to buy hybrid cars.x CLOSE
Cartman and Kyle are at war over the popular cartoon "Family Guy."x CLOSE
After leaving Kyle injured on the side of the road, Cartman races to the headquarters of "Family Guy" determined to put an end to the show once and for all.x CLOSE
Towelie writes his memoirs and the published work is chosen to be part of Oprah's Book Club.x CLOSE
The boys are trapped in a cave and Cartman finds treasure.x CLOSE
When Cartman's mom realizes she can't control her son anymore, she gets help from the "Dog Whisperer." But Eric Cartman's not going down without a fight.x CLOSE
The boys must find a way to stop a mad gamer who is destroying World of Warcraft, their favorite online role playing game.x CLOSE
The world's biggest conspiracy of all time will finally be uncovered when Eric Cartman exposes the true culprit behind the September 11th attacks.x CLOSE
In his new role as School Hallway Monitor, Cartman must team up with Kyle when they discover a teacher having sex with a student.x CLOSE
Towelie's memoir is published once he pretends he's a person, not a towel. He goes on "Oprah."x CLOSE
Oprah turns her audience into a lynch mob and chases Towelie off the set.x CLOSE
Towelie saves the hostages, allowing the police to shoot and kill Oprah Winfrey's asshole.x CLOSE
Towelie gets fired, gets high, and decides to write his memoir.x CLOSE
Towelie gets rejected, gets high, and decides to edit his memoir so he seems to be a person.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole decide to try to expose Towelie as a fraud.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge and asshole call Geraldo to tip him off about Towelie's identity.x CLOSE
Geraldo accuses Towelie of being a towel on "Larry King Live."x CLOSE
Oprah calls Towelie and invites him back on the show to defend himself.x CLOSE
Oprah's minge holds her audience hostage.x CLOSE