TALLY-HO, LADS !
I MUST SAY YOU'RESTARTING TO BECOME
QUITE A THORN IN MY BALLS.
WHERE'S CHEF ?WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM ?
HE'S FASTINGIN THE DEPRIVATION ROOM
AND BEING READ THESUPER ADVENTURE CLUB MANUAL.
WE'VE GOT TO UNDO THE DAMAGEYOU'VE DONE.
LOOK, IF YOU WANNA GO AROUNDTHE WORLD MOLESTING KIDS,
THAT'S TOTALLY FINE--BUT WHY DO YOU NEED CHEF ?!
WE DON'T NEED HIM,HE NEEDS US !
OUR CLUB OFFERS HOPE.
YOU THINK WE GO AROUND THE WORLDMOLESTING CHILDREN
JUST BECAUSE IT FEELSREALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD ?
OUR CLUB HAS A MESSAGE,
AND A SECRET THAT EXPLAINSTHE MYSTERIES OF LIFE.
OH JESUS, HERE WE GO.
VERY WELL, I'M NOWGOING TO TELL YOU
THE SECRET OFTHE SUPER ADVENTURE CLUB.
WE DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.
YOU SEE, THE SUPERADVENTURE CLUB WAS FOUNDED
BY THE GREATEST EXPLOREROF ALL TIME--
WILLIAM P. FINNEUS !
FINNEUS CLIMBEDTHE HIGHEST PEAKS !
TAMED THE MIGHTIEST RIVERS !
BUT EVERY TIMEHE GOT SOMEWHERE,
HE REALIZED THAT OTHER EXPLORERSHAD BEAT HIM TO IT.
FINNEUS WAS DEPRESSED,UNTIL HE REALIZED
THAT IF HE COULDN'T BETHE FIRST TO DISCOVER PLACES--
HE COULD BE THE FIRST TO HAVESEX WITH THE NATIVE CHILDREN
THAT INHABITED THOSE AREAS !
FINNEUS QUICKLY WENT DOWN INHISTORY BOOKS AS THE FIRST MAN
TO HAVE SEX WITH THEABORIGINE CHILDREN AT ULURU !
AND THE FIRST EXPLORERTO BUGGER ALL THE UNDERAGEMOUNTAIN FOLK OF NEPAL !
BUT NOW COMESTHE MOST WONDERFUL PART...
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALALL THOSE CHILDREN,
FINNEUS REALIZED THATMOLESTING ALL THOSE KIDS...
HAD MADE HIM IMMORTAL.
HE DISCOVERED THAT CHILDRENHAVE THINGS CALLED "MARLOCS"
IN THEIR BODIES.
AND WHEN AN ADULTHAS SEX WITH A CHILD,
THE MARLOCS IMPLODE FEEDINGTHE ADULT'S RECEPTOR CAVITY
WITH ENERGY THAT CAUSESIMMORTALITY--
SO SAYETHTHE RULER OF BETHOS.
FINNEUS TRAVELED THE WORLD,LOVING MANY, MANY CHILDREN.
AND HE LIVED FOR ETERNITY--
UNTIL HE WAS HITBY A TRAIN IN 1892.
DO YOU REALIZE HOWRETARDED THAT SOUNDS ?
IS IT ANY MORE RETARDEDTHAN THE IDEA OF GOD
SENDING HIS SONTO DIE FOR OUR SINS ?
IS IT ANY MORE RETARDEDTHAN BUDDHA
SITTING BENEATH A TREEFOR 20 YEARS ?!
YEAH, IT'S WAY,WAY MORE RETARDED.
WELL, NOW THAT YOU KNOWOUR CLUB'S SECRETS,
IT APPEARS YOULEAVE US NO CHOICE.
I'M AFRAID WE'RE GOING TOHAVE TO...
ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
( dramatic music )
WE'RE NOT LEAVINGWITHOUT CHEF.
IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO LEAVE
THEN I'M AFRAID WE'RE JUSTGOING TO HAVE TO...
CALL SECURITYAND MAKE YOU LEAVE.
( dramatic music )
YOU'LL BE LED OUT BY SECURITY
AND IT WILL BESUPER-EMBARRASSING
AND EVERYONE HERE WILL SEE--HA HA !
HA HA HA HA,HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA !
The Super Adventure Club's secrets are revealed.
One of South Park's most beloved characters makes a triumphant return to the show.x CLOSE
Stan persuades all the citizens of South Park to buy hybrid cars.x CLOSE
Cartman and Kyle are at war over the popular cartoon "Family Guy."x CLOSE
After leaving Kyle injured on the side of the road, Cartman races to the headquarters of "Family Guy" determined to put an end to the show once and for all.x CLOSE
Towelie writes his memoirs and the published work is chosen to be part of Oprah's Book Club.x CLOSE
The boys are trapped in a cave and Cartman finds treasure.x CLOSE
When Cartman's mom realizes she can't control her son anymore, she gets help from the "Dog Whisperer." But Eric Cartman's not going down without a fight.x CLOSE
The boys must find a way to stop a mad gamer who is destroying World of Warcraft, their favorite online role playing game.x CLOSE
The world's biggest conspiracy of all time will finally be uncovered when Eric Cartman exposes the true culprit behind the September 11th attacks.x CLOSE
In his new role as School Hallway Monitor, Cartman must team up with Kyle when they discover a teacher having sex with a student.x CLOSE
The boys discover that Chef has been brainwashed.x CLOSE
The Super Adventure Club's secrets are revealed.x CLOSE
Chef dies a gruesome death.x CLOSE
Chef returns to South Park.x CLOSE
Chef is back in school, but he's changed.x CLOSE
Detective Jarvis humps a doll to demonstrate molestation to the class.x CLOSE
Chef propositions the boys again.x CLOSE
Chef is diagnosed as brainwashed.x CLOSE
Spantaneous Bootay cures Chefs brainwashing.x CLOSE
Kyle eulogizes Chef.x CLOSE