HELLO, MA'AM !
WE ARE GOING AROUND TOWN ANDOFFERING SNOW SHOVELING SERVICE.
WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR DRIVEWAYAND SIDEWALK SHOVELED
FOR $8,000 ?
OH, WELL, I CERTAINLY COULD USESOME LITTLE SNOW SHOVELERS,
BUT $8,000 SEEMSA LITTLE STEEP.
HOW ABOUT $10 ?
OOH, OUCH,MA'AM, PLEASE--
LET GO OF THAT TIGHT GRIPYOU HAVE ON MY BALLS.
$10, YOU'RE BREAKINGMY BALLS, MA'AM.
HOW ABOUT $15 ?
IT'S A DEAL.
ALRIGHT, GUYS,LET'S GET TO WORK !
YEAH, THAT WASTOTALLY AWESOME,
CRAIG CRAPPED HIS PANTSWHEN HE SAW IT.
SO WHAT'S GOING ONOVER THERE ?
YEAH, THAT'SPRETTY COOL.
NO WAY !HE DID NOT !
AW, DUDE,THAT IS SO WEAK.
YOU'VE BEEN ON YOUR( bleeping ) PHONESINCE WE STARTED.
DUDE, I'MTAKING A BREAK.
A BREAK FROM WHAT ?!YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING !
KYLE, HOW MANY TIMES DO WEHAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS ?
I'M THE NEGOTIATOR,
I NEGOTIATE OUR PRICEWITH THE CUSTOMERS.
ALL YOU EVER DO ISTALK ABOUT YOUR BALLS !
IT WORKS, DOESN'T IT ?
DID I NOT JUST GET USAN EXTRA FIVE BUCKS ?
IF YOU WANT YOURSHARE OF THE MONEY
THEN YOU'RE GONNA SHOVEL SNOWLIKE THE REST OF US !
HEY, DON'T BOSS ME AROUND,YOU ( bleeping ) JEW !
I WILL KICK YOUR ASS !
( doorbell rings )
MA'AM, DO YOU HAVE A RAGAND SOME BANDAGES ?
OH GOODNESS,WHAT HAPPENED ?
OH, NO,COME ON INSIDE.
WAIT RIGHT HERE,I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOU'RE SO LUCKY I HAVEA SORE SHOULDER, KYLE,
OR ELSE I WOULD HAVELET YOU HAVE IT.
CARTMAN, JUST KEEPYOUR MOUTH SHUT.
( announcer on TV )This is breaking news !
Here's anchormanAaron Brown.
INCREDIBLE, ABSOLUTELYAMAZING NEWS TODAY.
A MAN FROM THE FUTUREHAS COME BACK IN TIME
AND IS INA GOVERNMENT HOSPITAL
AFTER BEINGHIT BY A CAR.
Kristina Nalenhas more.
THE NEWS ISINCREDIBLE, AARON.
EXPERTS AND SCIENTISTSHAVE BEEN WITH
THE MAN FROM THE FUTUREFOR SEVERAL HOURS NOW,
AND HAVE BEEN ABLE TO LEARNTHAT HE IS FROM THE YEAR 3045.
HIS CONDITION IS STABLE,AND SPECULATION CONTINUES
AS TO WHY HE HAS COME.
HAS HE COME TO DELIVERA CURE FOR CANCER ?
OR TO FIX SOMETHINGWRONG WITH THE PAST ?
HAVE TO INTERRUPT YOUTHERE, KRISTINA.
APPARENTLY BRAD MORGAN IS INSIDETHE BASE WITH BREAKING NEWS.
AARON, THE SCIENTISTS HAVE BEENABLE TO COMMUNICATE FURTHER
AND HAVE UNCOVEREDTHAT THE MAN FROM
1,000 YEARS IN THE FUTUREHAS COME TO OUR TIME--
LOOKING FOR WORK.
HE HAS SAID THATTHE FUTURE
IS SO OVERWHELMINGLYOVERPOPULATED
THAT THERE ARE SIMPLYNO JOBS IN HIS TIME,
AND SO HE BUILT A TIME PORTAL
AND HAS COME BACK TO21st-CENTURY AMERICA
TO FIND A JOB HERE.
THAT IS ABSOLUTELYASTOUNDING.
HE CAME BACK HEREFOR WORK ?
THAT'S RIGHT, AARON,
HIS PLAN IS TO GET A JOBHERE, IN OUR TIME,
SO THAT HE CANPUT THE MONEY HE EARNS
INTO A SAVINGS ACCOUNT,WHICH WILL EARN INTEREST,
AND BY THE YEAR 3045BE WORTH BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.
WHICH OF COURSEIN THE FUTURE
WILL BE WORTH ONLYHUNDREDS OF DOLLARS,
BUT ENOUGH, HE SAYS,TO FEED HIS FAMILY.
AND NOW I UNDERSTAND WE'REGOING TO HARRISON MOORE
FOR AN EXPLANATION ON HOWTHE TIME PORTAL WORKS.
AARON, I AM STANDINGAT THE TIME PORTAL
WHICH SCIENTISTS SAYFOLLOWS "TERMINATOR" RULES.
THAT IS, IT'S ONE-WAY ONLY,AND YOU CAN'T GO BACK.
THIS IS IN CONTRAST, TO SAY,"BACK TO THE FUTURE" RULES
WHERE BACK AND FORTHIS POSSIBLE.
AND OF COURSE,"TIMERIDER" RULES
WHICH AREJUST PLAIN SILLY.
ANYWAY, IT APPEARS THATTHE MAN FROM THE FUTURE
IS HERE TO STAY.
A man from the future goes back in time to make himself a billionaire.
After buying martial arts weapons at a local flea market, the boys are transformed into anime Japanese Warriors.x CLOSE
Cartman must convince a qualifying committee that he's handicapped so as to defeat Jimmy in an upcoming sporting event.x CLOSE
Kyle finally sees "The Passion" and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along.x CLOSE
When Stan gets challenged to a dance-off, it's up to him to put a team of South Park's best dancers together to compete.x CLOSE
When Cartman dresses up like a robot to get Butters' innermost secrets, he gets in over his head. The army believes he's some new secret weapon, and Butters thinks he's found a new best friend.x CLOSE
Cartman goes out of his way to get the new neighbor "Mr. Jefferson" to love him. Meanwhile, the South Park Police decide to take "Mr. Jefferson" down for being black and wealthy.x CLOSE
Humans from the future arrive in South Park through a time portal, looking for work. When the boys try to earn some extra money, they learn the time immigrants have taken all the jobs.x CLOSE
PETA demonstrates against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary's mascot, forcing the student body to vote for a new mascot.x CLOSE
When a giant Wall-Mart comes to South Park, Stan and Kyle must to find a way to destroy the ever-expanding superstore...all while keeping Cartman from stabbing them in the back.x CLOSE
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Butters have kept a dark secret since pre-school. Now Trent Boyett is getting out of juvie and his first order of business is revenge.x CLOSE
A man from the future goes back in time to make himself a billionaire.x CLOSE
The people from the future are putting Americans out of work.x CLOSE
Stan's idea to work for a better future is gayer than actually being gay.x CLOSE
A strange being from the future gets hit by a car.x CLOSE
The man from the future's plan works and more people from the future follow suit.x CLOSE
The immigrants from the future are under cutting the boys' snow shoveling jobs.x CLOSE
Stan's parents accuse him of being an ignorant timecist.x CLOSE
Conservatives and liberals battle it out on "The O'Reilly Factor."x CLOSE
Everyone must learn Futurespeak.x CLOSE
Present day workers want to stop the future to save their jobs today.x CLOSE