( suspension squeaking )
( all makingspaceship noises)
CAPTAIN CARTMANREPORTING FROM
APPROACHING PLANETOMEGA NINE.
WHAT KIND OF ATMOSPHEREARE YOU READING
ON THE PLANET'SSURFACE, JEW ?
I'M A VULCAN !
ALRIGHT, WHAT KINDOF ATMOSPHERE
ARE YOU READING,VULCAN JEW ?
THE ATMOSPHEREIS OXYGEN-BASED.
SHOULD SUPPORTOUR BREATHING.
ALRIGHT, HANG ONWE'RE ABOUT TO LAND.
OKAY, 1st OFFICER STANAND ENGINEER KENNY,
YOU COME WITH MEON THE AWAY TEAM.
VULCAN JEW KYLEYOU WAIT HERE.
NO, I'M ONTHE AWAY TEAM TOO !
IT'S MY MOM'SNEW MINIVAN
SO I'M THE CAPTAIN, KYLE !
I DON'T CARE,YOU'RE NOT MAKING ME
WAIT IN THE VAN AGAIN !
BUT IF SOMETHINGGOES WRONG OUT THERE
DON'T HOLD MERESPONSIBLE !
SET PHASERS ON STUN.
THINGS SEEMPRETTY QUIET.
YES, A LITTLETOO QUIET.
I AM PICKING UPCARBON-BASED LIFE FORMS
IN SECTOR C.
I BELIEVE WE WILL FINDA VILLAGE OF PEACEFUL ALIENS
OVER THAT RIDGE.
OKAY, FINE,I GUESS WE'LL--
OH NO, LOOK OUT !!
A GIANT FOUR-HEADEDLAVA FROG !!!
SHOOT IT !!!
( phaser sounds )
OH NO, IT'S GOT KYLE !!!
NO, IT DOESN'T.
IT'S GOT KYLE AND IT'STEARING HIS HEAD OFF !
OH, YOU GUYS, IT LOOKS LIKE KYLE IS DONE FOR !!!
NO, I'M NOT !!
GODAMMIT CARTMAN, YOU ARE NOTGOING TO KILL ME OFF AGAIN !
YOU SEE GUYS- THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T
BRING JEWS ALONGON THE AWAY TEAM !
THEY DON'T PLAY ALONG !
SHUT UP ABOUTJEWS, FAT ASS !
YOU DON'TKNOW ANYTHING !
OH GOD,HERE WE GO AGAIN.
OH YEAH, I SAW MEL GIBSON'SMOVIE "THE PASSION"
AND MEL GIBSON SAYSIN THE MOVIE
"JEWS ARE THE DEVIL" !
HE DOES NOT !
HOW DO YOU KNOW ?!
I'VE SEEN THE PASSION34 TIMES NOW, KYLE.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT ONCE !
THERE'S ONE PART WHEREJEWS HAVE A CHANCETO SAVE JESUS
AND YOU KNOWWHAT THEY DO ?
THEY LET BARABAS, A SERIALKILLER GO FREE INSTEAD
AND LAUGH ABOUT IT !
GO SEE THE MOVIE, KYLE !
I'M SICK OF YOU GUYS ARGUINGABOUT "THE PASSION".
I'M OUTTA HERE.
I'M NOT ARGUINGABOUT THE PASSION !
HE'S BEING AN ASSHOLE !
YOU KNOWWHAT IT IS ?
YOU'RE SCAREDOF THE TRUTH.
YOU DON'T WANTTHAT MOVIE TO SHOW YOU
JUST HOW BADTHE JEWS ARE.
AND WHY EVERYONE HATES YOU.
PEOPLE DON'TATE THE JEWS !
THREE HUNDRED MILLIONDOMESTIC BOX OFFICE, KYLE.
THE TOP GROSSING FILMOF ALL TIME, KYLE.
THOSE NUMBERS DON'T LIE.
IF YOU'RE NOT SCARED OF THEPASSION THEN GO SEE IT.
GO SEE IT ANDTELL ME I'M WRONG.
MEL GIBSON, KYLE.
YOU'RE ASTUPID ASSHOLE.
SWEET, NOW I CANJUST PLAY WITH MYSELF.
BEW-BEW, BEW !
GET BACK INTHE SHUTTLE CRAFT !
I've Seen the Passion 34 Times
Cartman and Kyle about the Passion.
After buying martial arts weapons at a local flea market, the boys are transformed into anime Japanese Warriors.x CLOSE
Cartman must convince a qualifying committee that he's handicapped so as to defeat Jimmy in an upcoming sporting event.x CLOSE
Kyle finally sees "The Passion" and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along.x CLOSE
When Stan gets challenged to a dance-off, it's up to him to put a team of South Park's best dancers together to compete.x CLOSE
When Cartman dresses up like a robot to get Butters' innermost secrets, he gets in over his head. The army believes he's some new secret weapon, and Butters thinks he's found a new best friend.x CLOSE
Cartman goes out of his way to get the new neighbor "Mr. Jefferson" to love him. Meanwhile, the South Park Police decide to take "Mr. Jefferson" down for being black and wealthy.x CLOSE
Humans from the future arrive in South Park through a time portal, looking for work. When the boys try to earn some extra money, they learn the time immigrants have taken all the jobs.x CLOSE
PETA demonstrates against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary's mascot, forcing the student body to vote for a new mascot.x CLOSE
When a giant Wall-Mart comes to South Park, Stan and Kyle must to find a way to destroy the ever-expanding superstore...all while keeping Cartman from stabbing them in the back.x CLOSE
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Butters have kept a dark secret since pre-school. Now Trent Boyett is getting out of juvie and his first order of business is revenge.x CLOSE
Cartman and Kyle about the Passion.x CLOSE
Stan and Kenny hate "The Passion" and want their money back.x CLOSE
Stan and Kenny escape from Mel Gibson's house with their eighteen dollars.x CLOSE
Kyle watches in horror as Jesus suffers onscreen.x CLOSE
Kyle admits that Cartman was right about the Jews.x CLOSE
Kyle has a nightmare about "The Passion."x CLOSE
Cartman and Stan fight about "The Passion" over the phone without recognizing each other.x CLOSE
Cartman, dressed as Hitler, hails himself in the mirror while screaming in German.x CLOSE
Everyone is excited about the first meeting of The Mel Gibson Fan Club.x CLOSE
Stan and Kenny meet Mel Gibson.x CLOSE