IN WHICH I'M SUPPOSED TOMAKE A VERY BIG DECISION.
AS SOME OF YOU KNOW, MY BIGGESTISSUE WITH GAY MARRIAGE
REGARDS CHILD REARING.
AND A NEW STUDYHAS JUST BEEN CONCLUDED
WHICH WILL GIVE METHE ABILITY TO TAKE
NO PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITYIN THIS DECISION.
A NEW STUDY ?
HERE WITH THE RESULTS OFTHAT STUDY IS THE LOVELY,
THANK YOU, GOVERNOR.
OH, JESUS CHRIST.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WITH THE HELP OF SOMEADORABLE FOURTH GRADE STUDENTS
WE'VE COMPLETED OUR SCIENTIFIC,NON-BIASED STUDY
OF FAGS HAVING KIDS.
COME ON UP, CHILDREN !
THE 'PARENTS' WERE GROUPEDTOGETHER AS MALE AND FEMALE.
AS YOU CAN SEE--
UH, MS. GARRISON...
YOU HAVE ANEMERGENCY PHONE CALL.
YES, WHAT IS ITI'M A LITTLE BUSY !
MR. GARRISON,IT'S KYLE !
OUR EGG IS OKAY,WE'LL BE THERE
IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES !
WHAT ? YOU'RE--YOU'RE TOO LATE !
DON'T FAIL US,WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE !
NO, YOU CAN'T-HELLO ? HELLO !
YOU TOLD ME YOUKILLED THAT FREAK EGG !
I WAS SURE I DID !
WELL, IT'S HERE !
YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN SURE
IT DOESN'T REACHTHESE STEPS UNCRACKED !
HA, HA... ANYHOW,AS I WAS SAYING
WE PUT ONE EGG INTO THEHANDS OF TWO MALE STUDENTS...
THANKS DUDE !
THERE, OVER THERE !
EXCUSE US,EXCUSE US, PLEASE !
( machine gun firing )
JESUS CHRIST !KEEP RUNNING !
THE EGG THAT THE TWO BOYSWERE GIVEN DOES--
HANG ON !WAIT !
IN CONCLUSION, GOVERNOR,YOU CAN REST ASSURED THAT--
TEACHER...OUR EGG IS... OKAY.
THIS EGG IS FINE !
GAYS CANGET MARRIED !
YEAHHH !WHOOO !YAYYY !
NO ! NOO !!
GAYS CANGET MARRIED ?WHAT ?
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOUMAN... AND MAN !
( cheering & applause )
BOYS, I'M REALLYPROUD OF YOU,
YOU'VE DONEAN AMAZING THING
FOR GAY MARRIAGE RIGHTS.
WHAT DID WE DO ?
STAN... I'M SORRYI DOUBTED YOU.
YOU REALLY MADEA GREAT DAD.
LIKE I GIVE A CRAPABOUT WHAT YOU THINK, WENDY !
Scientific & Unbiased Study
Stan and Kyle help gays get married.
The boys have to help Mr. Garrison get his testicles out of Kyle's knees.x CLOSE
Cartman seeks to rid the world of hippies once and for all.x CLOSE
The boys realize they can make 10% of someone else's hard-earned money just by being talent agents.x CLOSE
Cartman's jealous when Kenny gets the last new portable gaming device before the toy store runs out. Will Cartman and Kenny be able to stay best friends forever?x CLOSE
If the boys can lose just one baseball game, it gets them out of playing the boring sport for the entire summer.x CLOSE
Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead.x CLOSE
Jimmy has to get control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the school's talent show.x CLOSE
The world's largest beaver dam breaks, flooding the nearby town of Beaverton. As the victims wait for help to arrive, the people of South Park declare a Global Warming State of Emergency.x CLOSE
In order to retrieve a Future Telling Device the girls possess, Butters must fake his death, dress up as a girl and infiltrate their slumber party.x CLOSE
Mrs. Garrison still has feelings for Mr. Slave, but it's too late -- Mr. Slave has moved on and plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill.x CLOSE
Mrs. Garrison sings of life and love.x CLOSE
Mrs. Garrison appeals to the Governor of Colorado to veto the same sex marriage bill.x CLOSE
Stan and Kyle help gays get married.x CLOSE
Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al are planning to wed.x CLOSE
Stan can't deal with the assignment.x CLOSE
Mrs. Garrison switches the egg-parent pairings.x CLOSE
Stan gets jealous.x CLOSE
Mrs. Garrison screams at an egg.x CLOSE
The governor tries to redefine gay marriage.x CLOSE
Cartman breaks his egg baby.x CLOSE