YOU SHALL STAY HEREWITH YOUR ROOMMATE,MR. POCKET.
HE IS A DISTINGUISHEDYOUNG LAD
WHO WILL HELP YOU ON YOUR WAYTO BEING A GENTLEMAN.
I TRUST YOU SEENO PROBLEM WITH THIS ?
I SHOULD THINK NOT.
ON UP THEN, AND PREPAREFOR SCHOOL ON THE MORROW.
YES, SIR,THANK YOU, SIR.
MR. POCKET ?
PRAY, COME IN.
THANK YOU KINDLY.
YOU LOOK RATHERFAMILIAR.
AS DO YOU, PERHAPS WE'VESEEN EACH OTHER BEFORE.
AS TO OUR LODGING, IT'S NOTBY ANY MEANS SPLENDID.
THIS IS OUR SITTING ROOM,JUST CHAIRS AND TABLES ANDCARPETS AND SO FORTH.
THIS IS MY LITTLE BEDROOM,RATHER MUSTY.
AND THIS IS YOUR BEDROOM.MY, HOW LOVELY.
OH, WHAT A GAY TIMEWE SHALL HAVE !
AND I DO MEAN GAYAS IN FESTIVE, NOT AS INPENETRATION OF THE BUM.
OH, BUT DEAR ME,I BEG YOUR PARDON !
YOU'RE HOLDING YOURBAGS ALL THIS TIME.
PRAY, LET ME TAKE THEM,I'M QUITE ASHAMED.
OH, IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.LORD BLESS ME !
WHY, YOU'RE THE PALE YOUNGGENTLEMAN I SAW IN MISSHAVESHAM'S HOUSE.
WHY YES, OF COURSE, YOU'RETHE PROWLING LITTLE BOY !
OH, WHAT ASMASHING COINCIDENCE.
PERHAPS, BUT PERHAPS NOT.
MISS HAVESHAMIS VERY GENEROUS INDEED.
THAT OLD BIDDY, I ASSURE YOU,I HAVE NOTHING TO DOWITH HER ANYMORE,
SHE'S ABSOLUTELY MAD.WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT MISSHAVESHAM'S MELANCHOLY PAST ?
DEAR ME, IT'S QUITE A STORY,AND SHALL BE DISCUSSEDOVER DINNER, COME.
RIGHT, TIME FOR A SMASHING MEALAND THE STORY OF MISS HAVESHAM.
POCKET, MAY I ASK YOUA FAVOR ?
I AM DESPERATELY TRYINGTO BECOME A GENTLEMAN
FOR THE LOVEOF A CERTAIN GIRL.
SO WILL YOU PLEASE TELL MEIF I DO SOMETHING WRONGAT THE TABLE ?
YOU'LL DO FINE,DEAR FELLOW, JUST FINE.NOW, ON TO MISS HAVESHAM.
SHE WAS RAISED BY A WEALTHYFATHER AND GREW UP TO BESOMEWHAT OF A SPOILED BRAT.
AND NOW,I MIGHT MENTION, PIP,
THAT IN LONDON IT IS NOTTHE CUSTOM TO PUT THEKNIFE IN THE MOUTH.
OH DEAR,I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.NOT AT ALL, I'M SURE.
ANYWAY, MISS HAVESHAM GREW UPTO BE A LOVELY YOUNG LADYAND SOON A MAN CAME ALONG.
WHICH GETS ME TO THECRUEL PART OF THE STORY.
MERELY BREAKING OFF,MY DEAR PIP, TO REMARK
THAT A DINNER NAPKINSHOULD NEVER BE PLACEDINTO THE TUMBLER.
SORRY, SORRY.NOT AT ALL, I'M SURE.
SO THIS MAN PURSUEDMISS HAVESHAM CLOSELY ANDPROFESSED TO BE DEVOTED TO HER.
SHE PASSIONATELYLOVED HIM BACK.
THE MARRIAGE DAY WAS FIXED,THE WEDDING DRESSES BOUGHT,
THE WEDDING GUESTSALL INVITED.
AND FINALLY THE THE DAY CAME,BUT NOT THE GROOM.( farts )
AND I BREAK FROM THE TALE NOWONLY TO MENTION
THAT ONE SHOULD NEVERPASS GAS AT THE DINNER TABLE.
OH, EXCUSE ME.NOT AT ALL, I'M SURE !
SO THE GROOM NEVER SHOWED,HE SIMPLY WROTE A LETTER,
A LETTER THAT MISS HAVESHAMRECEIVED 20 MINUTESBEFORE THE WEDDING.
AT HALF NINE,
THE TIME WHEN SHE STOPPEDALL THE CLOCKS IN THE HOUSE.
BUT AFTERWARDS SHE LAID WASTETO THE ENTIRE HOUSE,AS YOU HAVE SEEN IT,
AND HAS NEVER SINCELOOKED UPON THE LIGHT OF DAY.
AND THE STORY ENDS, PIP,WITH ME SUGGESTING
THAT ONE SHOULD NEVERPULL OUT THEIR WEE-WEE
AND CHECK IT FOR SCABSWHILST AT THE TABLE.
NOT AT ALL, I'M SURE !
( British person )AND SO, PIP SPENT THE NEXTSEVERAL MONTHS
LEARNING HOW TO BEA GENTLEMAN.
HE WAS SCHOOLEDIN SEVERAL LANGUAGES.
HE WAS TAUGHT FENCINGAND MARKSMANSHIP.
AND HE WAS SHOWN HOW TO DANCEAND HOW TO EAT BOX.
AND AFTER IT ALL, AFTER WEEKSAND WEEKS OF INTENSE SCHOOLING,
PIP WAS FINALLYA FULL-FLEDGED GENTLEMAN.
What a Gay Time We Will Have!
Pocket explains Miss Havisham's past and proper table manners in London.
The boys start stealing teeth from less fortunate children and selling them to the Tooth Fairy at a premium.x CLOSE
The girls of South Park Elementary challenge the boys to a sledding race and Cartman gets sentenced to Juvenile Hall for 13 years.x CLOSE
Timmy is excused from class when he is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.x CLOSE
A family of quintuplets takes up residence in South Park and a media circus surrounds their every move.x CLOSE
Cartman goes online to find older friends when he decides that Stan, Kenny and Kyle are too immature to be his friends.x CLOSE
Kyle needs a kidney transplant and Cartman is discovered to be the perfect donor. Cartman offers his kidney to Kyle -- for the price of 10 million dollars.x CLOSE
Chef's passionate protest against the South Park flag enflames the entire town, including the children.x CLOSE
The boys form their own boy band, and everyone in town is lining up to audition for a spot as the fifth band member.x CLOSE
Priest Maxi's threats of eternal damnation have the boys racing to make their first Confession and Holy Communion.x CLOSE
Satan is torn between two lovers as he tries to choose between his new boyfriend and his ex, Saddam Hussein.x CLOSE
Malcolm McDowell introduces the story of Pip's origins. A true Dickens classic.x CLOSE
Pocket explains Miss Havisham's past and proper table manners in London.x CLOSE
Everyone safely escapes and lives happily ever after... Except for Pocket... And the Bunnies.x CLOSE
Pip's foster parents put him to work.x CLOSE
Miss Havisham wants Estella to break Pip's heart.x CLOSE
The more Estella treats Pip like dirt, the more he loves her.x CLOSE
Pip is going to London to become a young gentleman.x CLOSE
Pip pays Miss Havisham a visit now that he's a gentleman.x CLOSE
Pip might be a gentleman but Steve is 17 and has a car.x CLOSE
Miss Havisham plans to fuse her soul into Estella's so she can continue to break mens' hearts.x CLOSE