HEY, THERE HE IS.
THAT'S THE KID THAT'S SUPPOSEDTO BE SOME KIND OF GENIUS.
YEAH, HE'S ONLY THREE ANDHE'S ALREADY IN KINDERGARTEN.
SO, YOU THINK YOU'RE SMARTERTHAN THE REST OF US ?
YOU THINK YOU KNOW MOREABOUT THE WORLD
JUST BECAUSE YOU'REONLY THREE AND WE'RE FIVE ?
I'M GO BA-BA.
OKAY, CHILDREN,LET'S TAKE OUR SEATS.
MY NAME IS MR. GARRISON,
AND I'M THE NEWKINDERGARTEN TEACHER.
I USED TO BE THETHIRD-GRADE TEACHER,
BUT I HAD A LITTLE"NERVOUS BREAKDOWN"
AND WENT INTO THE MOUNTAINSWHERE I LIVED OFF OF
BUT I'M ALL BETTER NOWAND SCHOOL WAS NICE ENOUGHTO LET ME GO ON TEACHING...
AS LONG AS IT WASFOR KINDERGARTEN.
BUT IT'S NOTA DEMOTION, NO.
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE A TEACHERWAS TEACHING THIRD GRADE
AND NOW IS TEACHINGKINDERGARTEN--
THAT'S NOTA DEMOTION, IS IT ?
NO, THAT'S RIGHT,IT'S NOT.
WELL, LET'S START WITHROLL CALL.
AH, LET'S SEE...FILMORE ANDERSON ?
SALLY BANS ?HERE.
ALL RIGHT,IKE BROFLOVSKI ?
BROFLOVSKI, I HAD YOUROLDER BROTHER KYLE IN MYTHIRD-GRADE CLASS.
HE'S A VERY SMART KID,I'M SURE YOU ARE TOO.
WELL, THAT'S BAD NEWSFOR EVERYBODY ELSE
BECAUSE I WILL BEGRADING YOU ALL ON A CURVE.
AND SO THE OTHER THING THATMAKES MY TRAPPER KEEPERCOOLER THAN KYLE'S
IS THAT IT CAN ADDANY PERIPHERAL DEVICETO ITSELF AUTOMATICALLY.
I CAN TAKE SOMETHING AS SIMPLEAS THIS CALCULATOR AND--
TRAPPER KEEPER ?Trapper Keeper active.
HYBRID WITH "WELLINGTON BEAR"CALCULATOR.
Ready for hybrid.
AND NOW, I CAN USEWELLINGTON BEAR CALCULATOR TOO.
( everyone )WOW.
MAY I HOLD YOURTRAPPER KEEPER ?
UH, NO, I'M AFRAID NOT,BILL COSBY,
BECAUSE IT IS CODED TOTHE PRINTS ON MY FINGERS.
IF ANYBODY BUT METRIES TO HOLD IT
BIG METAL SPIKES COME OUTAND PIERCE THROUGH THEIR HANDS.
OH, YOU'RE SO FULL OFCRAP, CARTMAN !
METAL SPIKESWILL NOT COME OUT !
OH REALLY, THEN WHY DON'TYOU HOLD IT ?
WELL, GO ON, KYLE,
IF IT DOESN'T HAVEMETAL SPIKES, THEN HOLD IT.
HOLD IT.I'M GONNA !
HOLD IT.I WILL !
AND THAT'S HOW THE RELATIONSHIPWITH MY FATHER SORT OF ENDED.
THERE'S STILL SOME SORT OFSKELETONS IN THE CLOSET,
BUT THINGS BETWEEN USARE A LITTLE BETTER.
OKAY, CHILDREN, WELL NOWIT'S TIME FOR US TO ELECTA CLASS PRESIDENT.
SO FIRSTWE MUST PICK NOMINEES.
WHO WOULD LIKE TONOMINATE SOMEONE ?
I NOMINATE FILMORE BECAUSE HE'STHE SMARTEST KID IN THE CLASS.
OKAY, FILMORE, YOU'LL BEOUR FIRST NOMINEE.
AND WHO ELSE ?
I GOTTA GO DOODY.
IN A MINUTE, JENNY--WHO ELSE WANTS TO NOMINATEA CLASS PRESIDENT ?
OH, COME ON, YOU CAN'T HAVEAN ELECTION WITH JUSTONE PERSON RUNNING,
WHAT'S THE FUNIN THAT ?
IKE, HOW ABOUT YOU,YOU'RE A GENIUS ?
OKAY, OUR SECOND NOMINEEIS "IKE... THE GENIUS".
OKAY, CHILDREN, NOW WE'LL HEARBRIEFLY FROM EACH NOMINEE.
FILMORE, WHY DON'T YOUGO FIRST.
IF I'M ELECTED CLASS PRESIDENT,I'LL CALL FOR BIGGER CHAIRS.
AND ON FRIDAYS I'LL ADDTWO MINUTES TO NAP TIME.
OKAY, IKE,HOW ABOUT YOU ?
COOKIE MONSTER... EYES.
WELL, THIS IS GONNA BEA TOUGH ONE, KIDS.
Some Kind of Genius
Mr. Garrison gets acquainted with his new Kindergarten class.
The boys start stealing teeth from less fortunate children and selling them to the Tooth Fairy at a premium.x CLOSE
The girls of South Park Elementary challenge the boys to a sledding race and Cartman gets sentenced to Juvenile Hall for 13 years.x CLOSE
Timmy is excused from class when he is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.x CLOSE
A family of quintuplets takes up residence in South Park and a media circus surrounds their every move.x CLOSE
Cartman goes online to find older friends when he decides that Stan, Kenny and Kyle are too immature to be his friends.x CLOSE
Kyle needs a kidney transplant and Cartman is discovered to be the perfect donor. Cartman offers his kidney to Kyle -- for the price of 10 million dollars.x CLOSE
Chef's passionate protest against the South Park flag enflames the entire town, including the children.x CLOSE
The boys form their own boy band, and everyone in town is lining up to audition for a spot as the fifth band member.x CLOSE
Priest Maxi's threats of eternal damnation have the boys racing to make their first Confession and Holy Communion.x CLOSE
Satan is torn between two lovers as he tries to choose between his new boyfriend and his ex, Saddam Hussein.x CLOSE
Mr. Garrison gets acquainted with his new Kindergarten class.x CLOSE
The new kid pays Cartman 100 bucks to be his friend and steals his Trapper Keeper.x CLOSE
Cartman's Trapper Keeper is potentially destructive to all mankind.x CLOSE
Cartman and the Trapper Keeper are successfully defeated.x CLOSE
Cartman's Trapper Keeper is cooler than Kyle's.x CLOSE
The class president elections are postponed until the absent kid returns.x CLOSE
Cartman can't face the fact that he must live without a Trapper Keeper.x CLOSE
Rosie O'Donnell is on her way to sort out Kindergarten elections.x CLOSE
Kenny gets killed by the Trapper Keeper.x CLOSE
Rosie's gonna fix this election--her way.x CLOSE