IT'S NOT FAIR, DAD, WHY CAN'TI BE IN A BOY BAND ?
BECAUSE I SAID SO !
DAD, CARTMAN SAIDWE'RE GOING TO PERFORM INTHE MALL AT THREE O'CLOCK,
MY FRIENDS ARE GOINGTO BE PISSED OFF AT ME.LET 'EM BEPISSED OFF THEN.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND,JUST LET ME LET ME GO DOTHIS ONE THING AND I WON'T--
( glass shattering )
DAD, WHAT THE HELLIS GOING ON ?
I WAS 18 WHEN MY HIGH SCHOOLMEN'S CHOIR PERFORMEDAT THE GRAND OPENING
OF A SPORTING GOODS STOREIN DENVER.
♪ EVERYTHING WILL WAIT
♪ WE ARE THE LITTLE RAINS...
I WAS JUST ONEOF 15 MEMBERS
AND I HAD NO IDEATHAT A RECORD PRODUCERWAS IN THE AUDIENCE.
♪ ...THE COLORADO TRAIL
KID, CAN I TALK TO YOU ?SURE.
YOU WERE REALLY GREATOUT THERE.
TOO GOOD FOR A PISSANT CHOIRIN A PISSANT MOUNTAIN TOWN.
LISTEN, I'M PUTTING TOGETHERA ROCK GROUP,
A VOCAL GROUP CALLED"THE GHETTO AVENUE BOYS".
I THINK YOU WOULD MAKEA PERFECT MEMBER.
WHAT, ME, YOU LIKEMY SINGING THAT MUCH ?
YEAH, I THINKYOUR MUSTACHE IS PERFECT.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKETO COME TO NEW YORK
AND STARTA SINGING CAREER ?
OH MY GOD !I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I STILL HAVEANOTHER YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL.
HEY, LOOK, IF YOU DON'TWANT IT, I'LL KEEP LOOKING.
NO, WAIT, I MEAN...I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
I TAKE IT THAT MEANS YES,CALL ME IN THE MORNING.
AND JUST LIKE THAT,I LEFT EVERYTHING.
I DROPPED OUTOF HIGH SCHOOL.
SEE YA !
I SAID GOOD-BYETO MY GIRLFRIEND.
SEE YA !
AND I LEFT MY FAMILY.
SEE YA !
AND SUDDENLY THERE I WAS,
THROWN INTO A GROUPWITH FOUR OTHER YOUNG MEN
WHO I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.
♪ YOU'VE GOT IT,YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT IT, GIRL ♪
♪ WHAT YOU'VE GOT IS IT
THE SONGS WERE TERRIBLE,
BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOTTHE COUNTRY ATE THEM UP.
THE NEXT THING I KNEW,
WE WERE THE BIGGEST THINGIN THE WORLD.
♪ WHAT YOU'VE GOT IS IT
♪ NOW, GIVE ITTO ME 'CAUSE... ♪
I HAD EVERYTHING,A HUGE HOUSE
AND ALL THE WOMENYOU CAN IMAGINE.
AND THEN ONE DAY,JUST AS QUICK AS IT STARTED...
ALL RIGHT GUYS,LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.
HEY, MR. ALLENS.
WHO ARE THEY ?
THESE ARE "THE AVENUE GHETTO STREET BOYS".
MY NEW BOY BAND.
BUT, WE'RE STILLSELLING RECORDS RIGHT ?
YOU'RE JUST GETTINGA LITTLE OLD TO BEIN A BOY BAND.
GET A LIFE, MARSH !
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.
THEY SAID THAT AFTERALL THE MONEY WE HAD MADE
WE WERE IN DEBTTO THE STUDIO.
SO THEY TOWED MY CAR.SEE YA !
THE WOMEN ALL LEFT.SEE YA !SEE YA !
AND THEY TOOK BACKMY HOUSE.SEE YA !
THE ONLY THING I COULD DOWAS COME BACK TO COLORADO
AND FACE EVERYBODYI HAD ABANDONED.
HEY, WEREN'T YOU THE GUYIN THAT STUPID BOY BAND,
"THE GHETTO AVENUE BOYS" ?
SURE, I REMEMBER YOU.
♪ YOU GOT IT BABY
♪ YOU GOT IT GOING ON ♪
( laughter )
AND SO, YOU SEE,STANLEY,
I DO KNOW WHATI'M TALKING ABOUT.
JESUS CHRIST,I NEVER KNEW.
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW,BECAUSE NOW I'M A JOKE.
EVER SINCE THEN, I HAVEWISHED EVERY SINGLE DAY
THAT I CAN GO BACKTO THAT MOMENT WHENI WAS OFFERED THE JOB
AND SAY NO !
BECAUSE ALL THE FAME,THE MONEY, THE WOMEN,
ALL IT DIDWAS BUILD ME UP,
SO THAT I COULD BEKNOCKED DOWN HARDER THANANYBODY IN THE WORLD.
THAT'S WHAT BEING IN A BOY BANDIS ALL ABOUT, STAN.
IT'S PEOPLE SMOTHERING YOUAND EMBRACING YOU AND LOVING YOU
AND THEN SPITTING YOU OUTAND THROWING YOU AWAY
LIKE YOU WERELAST NIGHT'S PORK CHOPS.
NOW, WE WANDER THE EARTH IN DISARRAY,
US, NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK,THE OSMONDS,
WE'RE ALL THE SAME.
AND THAT IS WHYYOU CAN'T GO TO THE MALL.
WOW, THERE MUST BE AT LEAST20 PEOPLE OUT THERE.
WHERE THE HELL IS STAN ?
HE'LL BE HERE,STAN WOULDN'T DOUCHE.
I SWEAR TO GOD, IF HE RUINSTHIS DREAM OF MINE,
I WILL HAVE HIS NUTS !
HEY, ARE YOU GONNADO THAT THING OR WHAT ?
YES, YES, SIR, ANY SECOND,WE'RE JUST WAITING ONONE MORE MEMBER.
WELL, HURRY UP, I CAN'T KEEPTHE SAUSAGE AND CHEESE CARTOFF THIS SPOT MUCH LONGER.
YEAH, WE'LL STARTRIGHT AWAY.
WE'LL HAVE TO DO ITWITHOUT HIM.
HELL NO, I'M NOT BEING PARTOF A FOUR MEMBER BOY BAND !
WE'LL LOOK STUPID.YEAH !
OH, GODDAMN IT !
The Ghetto Avenue Boys
Randy Marsh's dark, boy band past is revealed.
The boys start stealing teeth from less fortunate children and selling them to the Tooth Fairy at a premium.x CLOSE
The girls of South Park Elementary challenge the boys to a sledding race and Cartman gets sentenced to Juvenile Hall for 13 years.x CLOSE
Timmy is excused from class when he is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.x CLOSE
A family of quintuplets takes up residence in South Park and a media circus surrounds their every move.x CLOSE
Cartman goes online to find older friends when he decides that Stan, Kenny and Kyle are too immature to be his friends.x CLOSE
Kyle needs a kidney transplant and Cartman is discovered to be the perfect donor. Cartman offers his kidney to Kyle -- for the price of 10 million dollars.x CLOSE
Chef's passionate protest against the South Park flag enflames the entire town, including the children.x CLOSE
The boys form their own boy band, and everyone in town is lining up to audition for a spot as the fifth band member.x CLOSE
Priest Maxi's threats of eternal damnation have the boys racing to make their first Confession and Holy Communion.x CLOSE
Satan is torn between two lovers as he tries to choose between his new boyfriend and his ex, Saddam Hussein.x CLOSE
Wendy makes the boy band.x CLOSE
Randy Marsh's dark, boy band past is revealed.x CLOSE
Randy Marsh gets a second chance at boy band stardom.x CLOSE
Cartman has a plan to make ten million dollars by starting a boy band.x CLOSE
The boys need another member for their boy band.x CLOSE
Fingerbang's first rehearsal.x CLOSE
Cartman gets pepper sprayed by the mall cops.x CLOSE
The band auditions for the mall manager.x CLOSE
Chef explains to Cartman that in order to be successful, he's got to get the girls screaming.x CLOSE
The boys shoot their music video.x CLOSE