ANYBODY IN THERE ?
OH, NO, IT'S THE MAN-BOYWHO KILLED MOMMY !
HE'S COME TOKILL US NOW !
IT'S OKAY, I DIED INSIDE WHENMOMMY WAS KILLED ANYWAYS.
YEAH, BETTER THISTHAN THE SLOW DEATH
WE'D FACE WITHOUTA MOTHER AROUND.
LOOK, I'M SORRYI KILLED YOUR MOM.
THE SQUIRREL TOLD MESHE WAS EVIL.
YOU GOT TRICKEDBY A SQUIRREL ?
GEE, YOU'RE NOT TOO SMART,ARE YA MISTER ?
I'M TRYING TO MAKE THISALL RIGHT AGAIN,
BUT THE ONLY THING THAT CANSTOP DEVIL-WORSHIPPING CRITTERS
IS A MOUNTAIN LION.
YEAH,AND YOU KILLED HER.
WELL, YOU'RE MOUNTAIN LIONS.
US ?NAWWW, WE'RE JUST KIDS.
WE STILL HAVEOUR BABY TEETH.
AND BABY CLAWS.
AND A DEAD MOM.
THERE STILL HAS TO BEA WAY FOR YOU TO KILLTHE PORCUPINE'S BABY.
WHAT ?YOU MEAN LIKE AN ABORTION ?
YEAH, AN ABORTION !THAT COULD WORK !
BUT... WE DON'T KNOWHOW TO GIVE ABORTIONS.
DO YOU KNOW SOMEPLACEWE CAN LEARN, MISTER ?
"WHERE CAN THEY LEARN THAT ?"THE BOY SAID WITH A FROWN.
"I KNOW, THE ABORTION CLINICJUST OUTSIDE OF TOWN !"
SO HE PICKED UP THE CUBS ANDDOWN THE MOUNTAIN HE STORMED,
AND TOOK THEM TO WHEREABORTIONS ARE PERFORMED !
NO, HE DIDN'T.
YES, HE DID.
NO, HE DIDN'T !
YES, HE DID.
NO, HE DIDN'T !
YES, HE... DID !
AW, GOD DAMMIT !
... SAID THE BOYIN THE RED POOFBALL HAT !
WE'VE MADE IT ALREADY,LITTLE CUBS, FANCY THAT !
EXCUSE ME,WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?
... THE ABORTION DOCTORINQUIRED.
IF YOU WANNA BE IN THE O.R,A PASS IS REQUIRED !
I DON'T KNOW, I'M SUPPOSEDTO SHOW THESE MOUNTAIN LIONS
HOW ABORTIONS ARE PERFORMEDOR SOMETHING.
I KNOW,IT'S RIDICULOUS.
WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK,I'M HAPPY TO INFORM.
ITS ONLY THREE DAYSUNTIL CHRISTMAS
SO I HAVE LOTS OFABORTIONS TO PERFORM !
GATHER ROUND MY TABLECUTE LITTLE LIONS,
I'LL TEACH YOU TO DO ABORTIONSWITHOUT EVEN TRYIN' !
AND SO THE LITTLE BOYAND THE CUBS
GATHERED 'ROUNDTHE CHAIR BASE
AND ALL DAY WATCHED ABORTIONAFTER ABORTION TAKE PLACE.
♪ CHRISTMAS TIMEIS ONCE A YEAR ♪
♪ EVERY CREATUREHOLDS IT DEAR ♪
♪ EVERY ANIMAL BIG OR SMALL
♪ CHRISTMAS MEANS SO MUCHTO US ALL ♪
♪ IT'S ONCE A YEARIT'S CHRISTMAS TIME ♪
♪ AND IT HAPPENS ONCE A YEAR
♪ IT'S ONCE A YEARAT CHRISTMAS TIME ♪
♪ WHEN WE HEAR ABOUT HOWCHRISTMAS ONLY COMES ♪
♪ ONCE A YEAR... ♪
THIS BETTERHAVE A POINT, DUDE.
THIS REALLY BETTERHAVE A POINT.
The mountain lion cubs learn how to perform abortions.
After buying martial arts weapons at a local flea market, the boys are transformed into anime Japanese Warriors.x CLOSE
Cartman must convince a qualifying committee that he's handicapped so as to defeat Jimmy in an upcoming sporting event.x CLOSE
Kyle finally sees "The Passion" and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along.x CLOSE
When Stan gets challenged to a dance-off, it's up to him to put a team of South Park's best dancers together to compete.x CLOSE
When Cartman dresses up like a robot to get Butters' innermost secrets, he gets in over his head. The army believes he's some new secret weapon, and Butters thinks he's found a new best friend.x CLOSE
Cartman goes out of his way to get the new neighbor "Mr. Jefferson" to love him. Meanwhile, the South Park Police decide to take "Mr. Jefferson" down for being black and wealthy.x CLOSE
Humans from the future arrive in South Park through a time portal, looking for work. When the boys try to earn some extra money, they learn the time immigrants have taken all the jobs.x CLOSE
PETA demonstrates against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary's mascot, forcing the student body to vote for a new mascot.x CLOSE
When a giant Wall-Mart comes to South Park, Stan and Kyle must to find a way to destroy the ever-expanding superstore...all while keeping Cartman from stabbing them in the back.x CLOSE
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Butters have kept a dark secret since pre-school. Now Trent Boyett is getting out of juvie and his first order of business is revenge.x CLOSE
The mountain lion cubs learn how to perform abortions.x CLOSE
Santa is pissed when the Antichrist is born.x CLOSE
The mountain cubs give Kyle an abortion.x CLOSE
Stan meets the Woodland Critters.x CLOSE
Stan builds the Critters a manger for their coming Savior.x CLOSE
Stan kills a mountain lion, mother of three.x CLOSE
The Critters have a blood orgy.x CLOSE
Stan tries to watch television to forget his problems.x CLOSE
The critters use their evil powers to stop Stan from taking down the manger.x CLOSE
Kyle is the perfect human vessel for the Critters' Antichrist.x CLOSE