WHO ARE YOU ?
I'M A DETECTIVE.
AND I'M AFRAID YOU KIDSHAVE BEEN DOUBLE-CROSSED.
YOU'VE FIGUREDTHIS THING ALL OUT ?
NOT ME...MY MYSTERY-SOLVING SONS.
COME ON IN, BOYS.
MY BOYS WERE RESEARCHINGWHO WENT NUMBER TWO
IN THE URINALAT YOUR SCHOOL
WHEN THEY DISCOVEREDSOMETHING ODD
WHICH GAVE THEM A CLUE.
IT GAVE USBOTH A CLUE.
THAT CLUE LEAD THEM TOA 9-11 CONSPIRACY GROUP PARTY.
WHERE THEY GOTA LOT MORE CLUES.
I WAS GETTING A CLUE LIKEEVERY TWO MINUTES.
I GOT SUCHA RAGING CLUE,
THAT I ALMOST SHOTCLUE GOO ALL OVER JOE.
THOSE CLUES POINTED OUT THAT ALLTHE 9-11 CONSPIRACY THEORIES
COULD BE DISPROVENSCIENTIFICALLY.
AND THAT'S WHEN FRANKGOT HIS BIGGEST CLUE.
IT WAS HUGE.
THAT ALL THE 9-11CONSPIRACY WEBSITES
ARE RUN BYTHE GOVERNMENT...
THE 911 CONSPIRACY...
IS A GOVERNMENTCONSPIRACY.
WHY WOULD THE GOVERNMENTWANT PEOPLE TO THINK
THEY CAUSED 9-11 ?
FOR A GOVERNMENTTO HAVE POWER
THEY MUST APPEAR TO HAVECOMPLETE CONTROL.
WHAT BETTER WAYTO MAKE PEOPLE FEAR THEM
THAN TO CONVINCE THEMTHEY ARE CAPABLE OF
THE MOST ELABORATE PLANON EARTH ?
THAT'S QUITEENOUGH, HARDLY !
DON'T BELIEVEWHAT HE SAYS, BOYS.
WE CAUSED 9-11.
IT'S ALL RIGHT HEREIN THESE SECRET DOCUMENTS.
BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THEM !
( yawn )
I KNEW IT-YOU DIDN'T PLAN 9-11
AND YOU DIDN'T REALLYSHOOT THAT GUY !
BOYS, YOUDON'T UNDERSTAND.
PEOPLE NEED TO THINKTHAT WE ARE ALL-POWERFUL
THAT WE CONTROL THE WORLD.
IF THEY KNOW WE WEREN'TIN CHARGE OF 9-11
THEN WE APPEARTO CONTROL NOTHING.
WHY DON'T YOU JUSTTELL PEOPLE THE TRUTH ?
WE DO THAT TOO !
AND MOST PEOPLEBELIEVE THE TRUTH !
BUT ONE-FOURTH OFTHE POPULATION IS RETARDED.
IF THEY WANT TO BELIEVE WECONTROL EVERYTHING
WITH INTRICATE PLANS,WHY NOT LET THEM ?
JUST ONE THING,MR. PRESIDENT
HOW THE DEVIL DID YOUKNOW WE WERE ALL HERE ?
( gun cocking )
HOW COME YOU COULDN'TJUST GO HOME, DUDE ?
THAT'S ALLWE HAD TO DO.
STAN !WHAT THE F--K !
IT WAS ALLPLANNED OUT.
YOU KNEW THISWHOLE TIME ?
BECAUSE IT WAS ME...
I'M THE ONE WHO TOOKA DUMP IN THE URINAL.
THE STALLS WERE FULL AND IDIDN'T WANT TO MISS RECESS !
I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULDTURN INTO SUCH A BIG DEAL !
SO YOU BLAMEDTHE GOVERNMENT ?
AND THE GOVERNMENT WAS MORE THANWILLING TO TAKE THE BLAME
SO LONG AS IT MADE THEMLOOK RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11.
AW MAN, NOW EVERYONE'SGONNA KNOW.
WHY DID THE STUPIDHARDLY BOYS HAVE TO BE
SO GOOD ATSOLVING MYSTERIES ?
SO, WAIT, WAIT-- STAN TOOKTHE DUMP IN THE URINAL,
AND HE CONTACTEDTHE CONSPIRACY WEBSITE,
BUT THE CONSPIRACY SITE WASRUN BY THE GOVERNMENT ?
SO THEN WHO WASRESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11 !
WHAT'DYA MEAN ?
A BUNCH OFPISSED-OFF MUSLIMS.
YEAH, WHAT AREYOU, RETARDED ?
HA HA !HA HA !HA HA !
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKETHIS MYSTERY IS SOLVED !
IT'S TIME FOR THE CULPRITTO FINALLY PAY.
WHEN YOU DOOK IN THE URINAL,IT'S BAD, M'KAY ?
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
IF SOMEBODY CAMEINTO YOUR HOME, M'KAY,
PULLED DOWN THEIR PANTS
AND LAID A BIG MUD MONKEYRIGHT ON YOUR MOM'S FACE ?
OH, YOU THINKTHAT'S FUNNY, HUH ?
YEAH, THAT'S REAL FUNNY !
Stan's Double Cross
Stan and Kyle find out the truth about 9/11.
One of South Park's most beloved characters makes a triumphant return to the show.x CLOSE
Stan persuades all the citizens of South Park to buy hybrid cars.x CLOSE
Cartman and Kyle are at war over the popular cartoon "Family Guy."x CLOSE
After leaving Kyle injured on the side of the road, Cartman races to the headquarters of "Family Guy" determined to put an end to the show once and for all.x CLOSE
Towelie writes his memoirs and the published work is chosen to be part of Oprah's Book Club.x CLOSE
The boys are trapped in a cave and Cartman finds treasure.x CLOSE
When Cartman's mom realizes she can't control her son anymore, she gets help from the "Dog Whisperer." But Eric Cartman's not going down without a fight.x CLOSE
The boys must find a way to stop a mad gamer who is destroying World of Warcraft, their favorite online role playing game.x CLOSE
The world's biggest conspiracy of all time will finally be uncovered when Eric Cartman exposes the true culprit behind the September 11th attacks.x CLOSE
In his new role as School Hallway Monitor, Cartman must team up with Kyle when they discover a teacher having sex with a student.x CLOSE
The town considers the legitimacy of conspiracy theories.x CLOSE
President Bush admits he caused 9/11.x CLOSE
Stan and Kyle find out the truth about 9/11.x CLOSE
Somebody went #2 in the urinal and Mr. Mackey wants answers.x CLOSE
The Hardly Boys are brought in to find the culprit.x CLOSE
Cartman annoys the boys with his conspiracy theories.x CLOSE
Cartman tells the class that Kyle is responsible for September 11th.x CLOSE
Stan offers Kyle Some Help .x CLOSE
A possible urinal culprit has been caught.x CLOSE
The cops bust Stan, Kyle, and the 911Truth.org guy.x CLOSE