STATEWIDE BAN ON FIREWORKSPEOPLE FROM ALL OVER
COLORADO ARE FLOCKING TO SOUTH PARK.
HERE WITH A SPECIAL REPORT
IS A NORMAL LOOKING GUY WITH A FUNNY NAME.
IT LOOKS LIKE THE FIREWORKBAND WON'T BE PUTTING A
DAMPER ON ONE TOWN'SFESTIVITIES TONIGHT.
I'M HERE AT STARK'S POND INSOUTH PARK WHERE A CROWD OF
RESIDENTS AND SCORES OF TOURISTSANXIOUSLY AWAIT THE LIGHTING OF
THE LARGEST SNAKE IN HUMAN HISTORY.
NOW AS MOST OF YOU WILL PROBABLY REMEMBER,
SNAKES ARE THESE LITTLEROUND DISKS THAT YOU LIGHT
AND THEY SPEW OUT A LITTLE SNAKE OF BLACK ASH.
WELL, THE SOUTH PARK SNAKE ISOVER HALF A MILE IN DIAMETER
AND TWENTY STORIES HIGH.
I'M TOLD THAT THIS EVENT WON'TBEGIN UNTIL THE SUN GOES DOWN AND NIGHT IS UPON US.
ALRIGHTY THEN, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE READY.
HOW ARE YOUR SWIMMING LESSONS GOING, CARTMAN ?
I HEARD YOU WON'T EVENGET IN THE DEEP END.
WELL, YOU HEARD WRONG, HIPPY !
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
GOOD CITIZENS OF COLORADO,
IT'S MY PLEASURE TO BE THE FIRST PERSON TO WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY !
LET'S START WITH OUR SCHOOL BANDPLAYING THE STARS AND STRIPES.
THIS IS IT.
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALA TWO AND A...
( together )OH.
WHAT THE --IS THAT ?
I THINK IT'S THE STARS AND STRIPES.
OH, HELL, LIGHT THE SNAKE.
( applause )
( together )OOH.
NOW WE'RE COMING UP TO THE AMERICAN BORDER.
THEY CAN'T KNOW THAT WE HAVE FIREWORKS IN THE TRUNK.
JUST LET ME DO THE TALKING.
I GUESS THAT GOES WITHOUTSAYING, DOESN'T IT ?
GOOD EVENING, GENTLEMEN.
HELLO THERE, FELLOW AMERICAN.
WE'RE JUST ANXIOUS TO GET BACK TO OUR HOMELAND.
ALRIGHT, I JUST NEED TOASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS.
FIRE AWAY, WE HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.
IS ANYONE OTHER THAN THE TWO OFYOU TRAVELING IN THIS VEHICLE ?
DO YOU HAVE ANY FIRE ARMS OR EXPLOSIVES IN THE CAR ?
I MEAN, NO, NO.
OPEN YOUR TRUNK PLEASE, SIR.
DAMN, DAMN !
I ALWAYS GET THATQUESTION WRONG.
The Festivities Begin
Jimbo and Ned are stopped at the boarder with fireworks.
With Colorado's new ban on fireworks, summertime is going to suck.x CLOSE
Jimbo is on his way to Mexico to smuggle in some fireworks, while the mayor work on the giant snake.x CLOSE
Jimbo and Ned are stopped at the boarder with fireworks.x CLOSE
Mr. Hat is missing and Garrison is pissed.x CLOSE
The mayor s mad South Park can't have fireworks because some kid blew his hands off.x CLOSE
Cartman swims in pee at his first swimming lesson.x CLOSE
Ned and Jimbo pick up some fireworks in Mexico.x CLOSE
Mr. Garrison unravels without Mr. Hat, and Cartman is sick of swimming in first grader pee.x CLOSE
The giant snake is growing out of control wreaking havok.x CLOSE
The snake must be stopped and the kids are on their own.x CLOSE