MY NAME IS MICHAELAND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
HI MICHAEL.HI MICHAEL.
AS MOST OF YOU KNOW
I ONCE LOST MY JOB AND MY FAMILYBECAUSE OF MY DRINKING.
BUT WITH THE HELP OF A-A I'VEBEEN SOBER FOR TEN YEARS NOW.
ANYBODY HAVE ANYTHING THEY WANTTO TELL THE GROUP FOR STARTERS ?
MY NAME'S BILLAND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.
HI, BILL.HI, BILL.
I'VE BEEN USINGTHE TWELVE STEP PROGRAM
FOR ABOUTTWO MONTHS NOW AND...
I'M REALLY TURNINGMY LIFE AROUND.
NO MORE BLOWING GUYSON COLFAX AVENUE
FOR A PINT OF VODKAFOR THIS COWBOY !
AND I UNDERSTAND THIS ISSOMEBODY'S FIRST A-A MEETING.
IS THAT RIGHT ?
YES, YOU SIR, STAND ON UP AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF.
UH, MY NAME'S RANDY AND...
I JUST REALLYLIKE BEER.
YOU HAVE TO ADMITYOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC.
BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I'MREALLY AN ALCOHOLIC.
THEN WHY AREYOU HERE ?
BECAUSE I GOT A D-U-IAND SO I'M REQUIRED
TO ATTEND A-A MEETINGSFOR TWO WEEKS.
I WAS STUPID ONE NIGHTAND DRANK TOO MUCH
AND THEN DROVE A CAR.
THAT WAS DUMB AND I'MNOT GOING TO DO IT AGAIN.
RANDY, YOU ARE POWERLESSTO MAKE THAT DECISION !
THE ONLY THING THAT WORKSIS THE TWELVE-STEP PROGRAM.
STEP ONE IS ADMITTINGTHAT YOU ARE POWERLESS
TO CONTROL YOUR DRINKING.
ONLY THEN CAN YOU MOVE ONTO THE OTHER TWELVE STEPS
LIKE BELIEVING THAT ONLYA HIGHER POWER, GOD,
MAKES YOU STOP DRINKING.
AND THEN, TURNING YOUR LIFEOVER TO THAT GOD
AND HUMBLY ASKING GODTO REMOVE YOUR WEAKNESS--
WAIT, WAIT, HOLD ON.
I NEVER KNEW THATALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
WAS A RELIGIOUS THING .
IT'S NOT RELIGIOUS,YOU JUST HAVE TO ADMIT
THERE IS SOME KIND OF GODWHICH HAS POWER OVER YOU
AND TURN YOUR LIFE OVERTO THAT GOD
AND ASK HIMFOR FORGIVENESS.
THAT'S THE TWELVE STEP PROGRAM,NOT RELIGION.
LOOK, I... I REALLY JUST NEED TOCUT DOWN ON MY DRINKING,
AND NEVER DRIVE A CARDRUNK AGAIN.
YOU CAN'T JUST CUT DOWNON YOUR DRINKING, RANDY !
YOU NEED TOKNOW SOMETHING...
YOU HAVE A DISEASE.
A... A DISEASE ?
ALCOHOLISMIS A DISEASE.
YOU'RE SICK, RANDY.
YOU'RE VERY,VERY SICK.
AND JUST LIKEWITH MOST DISEASES
YOU CAN'TCURE IT YOURSELF
AND IT'S DEADLY.
OH MY GOD... !
I Just Really Like Beer
Randy goes to an AA meeting.
The boys have to help Mr. Garrison get his testicles out of Kyle's knees.x CLOSE
Cartman seeks to rid the world of hippies once and for all.x CLOSE
The boys realize they can make 10% of someone else's hard-earned money just by being talent agents.x CLOSE
Cartman's jealous when Kenny gets the last new portable gaming device before the toy store runs out. Will Cartman and Kenny be able to stay best friends forever?x CLOSE
If the boys can lose just one baseball game, it gets them out of playing the boring sport for the entire summer.x CLOSE
Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead.x CLOSE
Jimmy has to get control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the school's talent show.x CLOSE
The world's largest beaver dam breaks, flooding the nearby town of Beaverton. As the victims wait for help to arrive, the people of South Park declare a Global Warming State of Emergency.x CLOSE
In order to retrieve a Future Telling Device the girls possess, Butters must fake his death, dress up as a girl and infiltrate their slumber party.x CLOSE
Mrs. Garrison still has feelings for Mr. Slave, but it's too late -- Mr. Slave has moved on and plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill.x CLOSE
Stan's Dad gets pulled over for drunk driving.x CLOSE
Randy goes to an AA meeting.x CLOSE
Mr. Marsh begins drinking again.x CLOSE
Stan's Dad shows up drunk to drive the boys home from karate practice.x CLOSE
Stan's Dad talks to Stan's class about drunk driving.x CLOSE
Stan comes home after school to find his dad drunk on the couch.x CLOSE
Randy decides his only hope is to be cured by a bleeding Virgin Mary statue.x CLOSE
Stan gets thrown out of an AA meeting for calling it a cult.x CLOSE
Cardinal Mallory determines the bleeding statue is a miracle.x CLOSE
Randy insists on visiting the statue in hopes of being cured.x CLOSE